Will he EVER propose?

Question

Okay... so I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he still hasn't proposed. It's not like we've never talked about it... and he's even gone shopping for rings a couple times (I'm not supposed to know :) ) but.... I'm just getting a little impatient. I love him with all my heart and couldn't see my life with anyone else. It's not that I just want to get married... I just want to know that he can make the commitment that I already have. It makes me feel like I love him a lot more than he loves me, and that's a bad feeling.. even though deep down I know it isn't true. I just don't know if I should wait around... or move on? I don't want to be with anyone else, but I am at a point in my life where I am ready to settle down... and he's the one I want to do it with.

Answer 1

give him the sh*t or get off the pot story an go from there

Answer 2

If you aren't living with him I say be a little more patient, yes 4 years is a long time, but just as you said, where you are in the relationship my not be where he is, commitment wise. You should definitely talk to him about it again and let him know you are ready to make the next step. If you are living with him, you need to set down an ultimatum now. Living with a man, in my opinion, always changes the nature of the relationship. He's getting the benefits of being married without having to make the commitment - that's just not smart on a woman's part and I'll never for the life of me understand why women choose to live with a man. Anyway, you need to have some stability in your life, a real sense of direction, and if he's unable or unwilling to move on, you either have to wait or find someone else who's ready as you are. Good luck.

Answer 3

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 & 1/2 years, and I know what you mean. We are both graduating college this year and plan on getting married once we both graduate. But we have discussed our future several times and we are both on the same page. You two have been together for a long time too and you should discuss it as well to make sure that you both agree on plans for your future together.

There are so many reasons why he might be waiting and you will only know if you ask him. There is no need to pressure him, or move on. If you love him isn't he worth the wait? Marriage is something that should be taken seriously and not rushed into. It is better to wait for the right one, than to rush into marrying the wrong one.


The fact that he has looked for rings shows that he IS thinking about marriage and the fact that you have been together for 4 years shows that he IS committed! If you know deep down that he loves you then trust it-he does! If you don't want to be with anyone else then you should wait and marry him.
Be patient, your day will come.

Answer 4

He may not, or if he does, he may be unwilling to set a date. Four years is a very long time without a commitment; one more than I would have waited! He probably has no need or want to get married, if you are already sleeping with him or living with him; he would have all he wants already. If you are living together, move out independently and keep dating him; see how that goes.
Otherwise, if you just are dating and nothing is going any further, perhaps he just isn't the right one. No matter how much you love him, sometimes it just isn't right, and you need to move on...

Answer 5

My fiance proposed to me after 3 1/2 years of dating.

I know people who have gotten engaged after 6 years of dating and they are very happily married to this day.

If you love him, you can wait. Heck he might be waiting for "the perfect time" to pop the question, especially if you guys talk about it and he has looked at rings. Perhaps he already has the ring and is doing some more planning before popping the question. Perhaps he is saving up for it.

Just because nowadays people get engaged between 6months to 2 years of dating does not mean that is the norm or how it should be.

Give him time.

Answer 6

Ask him. Ask him if he loves you. Ask if where this relationship is going? Tell him you're ready..show pictures of the ring you want or leave hints..a ring catalog, with a circle around the want you want..or ones with wedding dresses..and if that doesn't work, if you really want it bad, push it. Go ring shopping with him and after the sizing, let him propose to you when he's ready..

Answer 7

Find out what his intentions are. Could be he wants a bit more stability in his life before he makes the commitment. If you're getting impatient, you could always go the ultimatum route. If that's the route you choose to take, be prepared for every possible outcome.

Answer 8

You should tell him EXACTLY how you feel. Tell him that you love him and you are ready to start the next chapter in your life, and you'd like that to include him. Tell him that you are ready to setle down and spend the rest of your life with him.

Maybe that will get him moving faster...lol...BUT I'd stay away from threats, I personally HATE to be given an ultimatum!!! You want him to do it bc he loves you, not bc he feels obligated

Answer 9

So why don't you tell him. Tell him how you're feeling. The whole suprise attack proposal that men are supposed to do is bunk. Agree to get married and then if you must, do the idiot dance of the proposal.

Answer 10

At this point, I would give him an ultimatium. If after four years he doesn't know if he wants to marry you, it is time for you to move on. Just be ready to accept whatever his choice is and act on it. Best of luck.

Answer 11

4 years is a long time, I don't think he will based on your question. He is a classic example of someone scared of the committment, but is good since he is taking marriage seriously and not leaving any question unanswered before he takes that step with you. The problem is this may take forever.