The day's just beginning
You see the girl you love
You don't know what to do or say
You're friends, you talk to eachother everyday
On the phone, computer, etc
You're walking with her
Talking, laughing, having the time of your life
The sun hits ya, you smile at her she smiles at you
It's time to say goodbye
You hug and walk off
You're walking, past places where we played as kids
Later you talk to eachother
Time's ending
You say you'll see eachother tomorrow
You know what
You're in goddamn love
Is there anything else better in the world
2007-03-19 15:01:41 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If it comes from your heart it's great.
2007-03-19 15:06:08 · answer #1 · answered by musiclover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It needs a lot of work, but it has a lot of potential. However, you need to really put the pieces together. You are jumping around a lot. But, keep working on it and in time it might actually be really good.
2007-03-19 22:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by Terri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are truely in love. Rewrite it so you have a little bit of rhyme. You don't need much at all, but it will help when you present it to her. Your good at it. Don,t be discouraged. Gramps
2007-03-19 22:16:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love can be great, but never forget Love is a Battlefield too.
Good Luck to you and your lady.
2007-03-19 22:07:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry...I found it quite boring.
would have been alot more real if you had not felt the need to damn God in it.
It's just not good for me...dawg...I gave it a one.
2007-03-19 22:40:27 · answer #5 · answered by beebee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it!
It is music!
You should compose a melody for it!
2007-03-19 22:06:22 · answer #6 · answered by Vovó (Grandma) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the truth. it loses me because you keep saying "you" and it's not me, it's you. Whay not change the "you" to "I". Then it will be easier to picture.
2007-03-19 22:06:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
goddamn love? is that really a good feeling? lol i like it though.
2007-03-19 22:06:11 · answer #8 · answered by Fletcher 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
BEAUUTIFUL!!!! (just tweek the ending al little)
2007-03-19 23:36:07 · answer #9 · answered by selina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sappy
2007-03-19 22:05:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋