Something is very wrong...?

Question

Me and my boyfriend left our apartment due to us being laid off, and so we moved in with my boyfriends parents. His parents are seriously messed up. They call him a stupid idiot on a regular basis. they say cruel and mean things all the time. example, my boyfriend is not fat, but he is a tall big *** mother. he is 6'2, and weighs around 290, almost 300 lbs, but he is more muscle and bone then fat... so my boyfriend wanted to check out this graveyard shift job working in a warehouse, and his father told him "you can't work graveyard, your so fat that you'll have a heart attack and die." plus! whenever we go somewhere with his parents, they find the most fattest nasty looking person ever and say "oh, there you are, wave to yourself." i mean i have never known anyone as cruel as these people. we don't know what to do because were looking for work and no one is calling us back, were gonna sign up for school again, but we spend more time dealing with his parents then our problems. advice?

Answer 1

Just be as supportive as you can for him. And if you ever get married and have kids together do not let them around his parents. If theyd do that to their own son theyd do it to grandkids.

Answer 2

It's hard to have criticisms about his parents when you (you are just his girlfriend, not even his wife) and your boyfriend have essentially gone back to being little kids living with parents again.
I have a feeling your boyfriend could get a job, a crappy job, but a job, if he could simply make it a goal not to be living at home. I'll bet he has access to a washer and dryer, food in the fridge, a fairly nice television. some comforts and in addition, he gets to screw his girlfriend in his parent's very own house. There are two of you. You are hurting because you are feeling vulnerable because you are unemployed. Well, get out, get crap jobs, live in crap housing and realize where you are. You were going to sign up for school again? Are you kidding me? Did you think his mommy and daddy were going to parent you through the high school experience again?
Sorry - I've been there, been vulnerable, down and out, unemployed and I AM fat so I have no sympathy there - but you need to get a life where other people aren't footing the bill. And get married, for God's sake, if you think following your 'boyfriend' around is a way of life, at least have some commitment and make it legal.

Answer 3

What a stressful situation you're in. What cruel parents your boyfriend has. I'm sorry that he has such a dysfunctional family.

I think the best thing to do is to try and leave that environment as soon as possible. Find a job and save up. Until then, try not to mind his mother's comments - you two are living in her home, so you'll have to be as respectful as possible right? But save save save, then move out and either find a place of your own again.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Is there anywhere else that you could go and stay. That is horrible and you and him both don't need that kind of harrasement. He probably feels bad that he has been layed off and had to move in with his parents as is, let alone the pressure that they are putting on his self esteem. I would move immediately and work on building your own relationship away from the parents, also be very supportive of him. Atleast he is trying and not laying around waiting for someone else to foot the bills.

Answer 5

Sounds like these parents feel guilty that
they brought up a "healthy" kid. Also sounds
like they are ill-mannered, and cold-hearted.
One of my daughters has always had a weight problem, but never would I think of
saying such things.
You better find a friend or someone like that
to live with. Quick! This kind of abuse can
take a toll on esteem really quickly.

Answer 6

It's difficult because you are living with them. I would say to stand up for him, but you could easily end up thrown out on the street. Tell him in private that his parents are fools, that they don't know what they are talking about, and that you love him for him, not because of anything else. Once you get back on your own, and his parents do this kind of thing, tell them that they are horrible people and that they should support their son. Don't allow them to talk to you both this way, it is destructive and unhealthy.

Answer 7

Does his parents have self esteem issues?? Because most the time with someone is constantly putting another down it is because they are not happy with themselves. They really need to learn to shut thier mouth if they don't have anything nice to say and I don't know if it would help for your boyfriend to say something to them in regards to: hey I don't like being called fat and if you can't say something nice to me then just don't talk to me at all. They have to have some issues that they are unhappy about with themselves.. (And so what if he is fat there is more to love and they need to shut thier trap cause if you love him than that is all that matters!!! )

Answer 8

I would move out. Rent a room somewhere or do something I am sure you got unemployment or have some sort of money. Pick another family member or a friend. Who could live like that?

Answer 9

Staying with parents suc@$. they can be crule they see his short commings all the time. support him. tell him you would live in a camper if thats what it takes to be happy. let him know its only for a little while but you are with him for better or worse. him taking care of you and the comming family some day is what keeps you with him.

Answer 10

Good thing he has you to be positive in his life. Well honey you cant change people sometimes..but you can change situations. So, try to limit what you do with them until you can move out. And good job on being supportive. I am sure he appreciates you in his corner.