I recently broke up with someone who says that I was too emotionally distant. We each own homes about 15 minutes apart and she has 3 kids. I told her when we started dating that I like to have some 'me' time. So I'd split my time during the week, alternating spending a night at my house, the following night at hers. We would spend the entire weekend together, and we worked together for eight hours a day. She broke it off because she said I didn't spend enough time with her. I think she's probably lying at worst and codependent at best. Is it unreasonable to want a little me time? Does her position make sense to you?
2007-03-19 14:30:51 · 7 answers · asked by aquaman2964 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thing is, we WERE going to get married in May and I was really looking forward to it. But we weren't married yet. I thought that's where we were headed. I adored her and her kids. She didn't really bother discussing it with me. One minute I was the most wonderful man in the world and the next, I was this horrible jerk.
2007-03-19 14:52:09 · update #1
me time is good depends on length and the situation
2007-03-19 14:35:11 · answer #1 · answered by buzy_bee_21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you even have to ask, then yes, you are probably emotionally distant. I've met guys like that, and if there's one thing I've noticed... If "me" time is that great of a concern to you that you've somehow lost a girlfriend over it... Then you're just plain and simple not ready for a commited relationship. What would you do if you got married? If you can't foresee ever getting married, then commiting yourself in any kind of relationship is a waste. You're with a person every night when you're married... and if you're not ready for that, you should reconsider the level you're maintaining your relationships at.
Codependency is for drug addicts, not for lovers. Everyone has a different level of needs, and if you were unable to meet hers emotionally, she was right to break up with you. If she was truly co-dependent, she would've just tried to keep you in the relationship, but bug you to give her more attention. If she broke up with you, she's anything but codependent, because apparently she doesn't really feel like she needs you. Lying? Probably not. Like I said, everyone has a different level of needs. Yours are not the same as hers, so you could've have expected it to ever work unless either was willing to compromise without it causing a problem.
2007-03-19 14:40:43 · answer #2 · answered by sum12stupid4u 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The guy I lived and worked with just split with me saying that we saw each other ALL the time.
The thing is, you may see her a lot, but do you actually spend proper conversational, attentive time with her when not at work, and she's not with the kids etc?
Its about the quality. You saying you want 'me' time makes it sound like to her that you don't want to be in the relationship and it makes you look selfish too (I'm sorry, but its true), and she'll push a little more, and you'll pull a bit more and before you know it the relationship will be dead in the water.
Spend some PROPER quality time with her and you'll see a MASSIVE improvement in this area - she won't be pushing to see you because her emotional needs are being met.
2007-03-19 14:38:43 · answer #3 · answered by iliketorideigohago 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're fairly posessive for this woman no longer even being your girlfriend. She replaced into with someone for 3 years.. she's likely DEVASTATED. i have been courting someone for 3 years and if we were to split i doesn't even opt to imagine of being with some different person for a strong lengthy time period. The more advantageous you push her and prod her and asking her what she's doing and the position she is each of the time and obsessing on even if she's spectacular out with different adult adult males or why she hasn't called you.. the a lot less and a lot less she will like you. once you're THIS controlling once you at the instantaneous are not even at the same time i visit in person-friendly words imagine the way it will be in case you've been to this aspect her. you're in simple terms pushing her farther and farther away with assistance from being disillusioned that she did not call you on the precise time she suggested she ought to and that she frolicked at the same time with her associates. Sorry yet it truly is fairly ridiculous and immature.. and till you mature, i don't believe of you deserve this woman.
2016-11-26 23:38:55 · answer #4 · answered by sebring 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It kind of depends on ow long you 2 were together. If a year and half or more, yes you are too emotionally distant. If less then that, no you are fine. She has to thin about finding a father for her kids and if you aren't going to step up to the plate then she needs to move on.
2007-03-19 14:35:37 · answer #5 · answered by dab1121 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well me being a female....i will honestly tell you that nomatter how much time you give to us we always want more. My man tells me that he needs me time as well.....we live together and work different hours,,so when he does other things i do feel hurt and i feel like i come last. Some women just arent satisfied with the time you give to us. We are emotional beings and when we love our man,,,thats where our time wants to be. That is my brutally honest answer.
2007-03-19 14:39:38 · answer #6 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it does make sense. because maybe she figured after a little time you would want to spend more time with her. it isnt unreasonable to want me time just make it on reasonable times in a relationship
2007-03-19 14:35:34 · answer #7 · answered by Rhi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋