How do you get yourself through difficult times?

Question

I constantly feel down about my life.

I don't know how to cheer myself up or provide my own self support.

I am looking for a job and not able to find anything permanent. I am only finding contract positions.

I am worried about my daughter. She is 14 and lived with her Dad in another state. I gave him sole physical and legal custody during the divorce. My ex-husband moved due to job reasons. I live in another state. I tried to go and stay with her, but it did not work because I was staying in my ex-husband's house. It was bad situation overall.

I feel bad when I compare my life to other people's and it makes me feel inferior about myself in that my life has not worked out.

I know that I have to learn to think positive, but its sometimes hard and I don't know who to turn to when I am down. Maybe prayer, but what else?

Answer 1

You've gotten some great advice so I'm going to try to not repeat anyone here. However, there is one thing that I don't think anyone has said yet that I feel that you seriously need to do........and that is.......FORGIVE YOURSELF. I have a feeling from your post that you sit and go over all the mistakes you've made, all the bad choices you've chosen, all the wrong turns you've turned onto. Stop it. Don't keep beating yourself up over things that are in the past. Instead, take a deep breath and BEGIN AGAIN. Your post has already stated that you KNOW what you need to do....."I know that I have to learn to think positive". I think the only one stopping you is "you". You go on to say "but it's sometimes hard and I don't know who to turn to when I am down." I think you are at a point in life where you are going to have to rely on yourself. We can't always rely on someone else to pick us up. It would be nice! But unfortunately, life doesn't work that way. Sometimes when we are at our lowest, we look around and everyone is busy doing something else. I've had to learn this. I'm glad I did, because that was when I became stronger....when I learned that I could pick MYSELF up. What a revelation!

How did I do it? The same way you are going to have to learn to do it. It's a mind game. It sounds silly, but when I started beating myself up over dumb stuff I did in the past, I would simply talk to myself and tell "me" to CUT IT OUT! Then I would distract myself. Do something different than whatever is was that I was doing that reminded me of my past. I would NOT allow myself to "wallow" in my own self pity. I would not allow myself to have a pity party. NOPE! What I noticed is that I began to feel more "in control" of myself and not so dependant on others for how I was feeling.

Once I began to take charge of my life I went to the doctor for severe migraines and they put me on a low dosage of Prozac. Between my increased self esteem and the Prozac my life really calmed down. Are things perfect now? Not by a long shot. BUT, I live for the future, not in the past like I used to.

Prayer is part of my daily life. But keep in mind. People sometimes try to use Christ as a "handyman". They call on him for a repair job and then send him on his way. He doesn't work that way. Establish a relationship with him. Learn to trust him and then allow him to show you what your testimony is. And remember.....your testimony is only "imony" if you never go through the "test".

Blessings and sorry so long

Answer 2

Hey Honey, don't give up! You may be going through hard times now, but "this too shall pass." Prayer is good, but also look at the Words of God! He has some pretty good advice about life. :) Some good things to do are:
1. Count your blessings, this is a great way to see how good you really are doing.
2. Help someone else, even if it's just a little bit, this is a great way to let out some steam.
3. Smile, even if you don't feel like it, it's been scientifically proven that if you smile your hormone levels rise in a good way, so that you feel better.
I hope that you'll be doing better very soon! Remember, God loves you!!!

Answer 3

I can relate to your situation and have been in between jobs more than once. Lately with going to school, looking for work, two kids, now with learning a new job and the financial situations, things get overwhelming.

What helped me the last time I felt this way was to realize, that there are some things in life I can and cannot change. For those things that I cannot change, even things I directly am involved in like my relationship with my husband or my kids, I realized that this is the way that life is. I pray about it and when things get rough, I put the stress in God's hands and as my mom said, let God do the worrying for me. When I did, my stress level changed and I was able to cope.

Answer 4

Sounds corny I know but emotion is controllable. If you are sad think of a time you were happy.. A Good time.. a sunny day.. take your time build it up in your mind..see it clearly and you will find your self reliving it.. Ha..(-: there goes that sadness here comes the gladness and yes turn to prayer..turn to your friends.. turn to God.. You have done what you can for your daughter..at 14 keep contact but realize she is about to enter the age at which she will want little or nothing to do with parents either the one she lives with or the one she doesn't. Your life is not better or worse than anyones elses.. it only seems that way..everyone...and I mean everyone see the negative aspects of their live stronger / more than the positive aspects... so as my pharmacist told me when I complained about my cold recently don't feel special. (-:.. but joking aside realize that you are special to God and others.
HTH,
Keith

Answer 5

al right sorry if i offend any one with this onebut here goes. alright im not going to tell you not to compare yourselto others because you will anyway. dont just turn to god either. he helps but hes not going to do everything for you. use meds as a last resort. if you get strung out your daughter and your friends will probably get mad about it. just keep your chin up you know. make small things look like great a ccomplishments.think,"i fixed all my own meals and didnt mess any of them up. also excercise. you can think i just ran a whole mile and i feel great. if you lose weight you can make yourself think about how your life is making a good turn.if youre worried about your daughter then talk to her. im 14 and if i thought i was worrying my mom and did nothing to help id hate myself.

Answer 6

I would suggest seeing a Dr and getting a support group so that way when you feel down you have someone or a group of people to lean on and talk to. Good luck and God bless you

Answer 7

Jesus Christ is the answer. If you turn your life to Him, He will take you and carry you through difficult times.
Read your Bible, pray, and get to know him as your personal Savior. There's no one and nothing else that can satisfy or give us peace.

Answer 8

I respect your beliefs, but from my experience, praying doesn't work. Just hang in there. The best advice I can give to you is to talk to people (real human interface, not Y! Answers.) But make sure you don't overdo it, or they'll think you're whining. NEVER bottle up your emotions or bad things will happen. Trust me.

I hope everything works out for you in the end. If not, well, that's life.

Peace out!

Answer 9

i like to have what i call "outlets" things i do when there's too many thoughts in my head to hear a single one and when life just well.............sucks. some of my outlets are
#1 running, when i run i run as far as i can and don't look back
#2play music, like piano or flute or guitar
#3 find a friend and go somewhere amazing
basically what you need is a hobby, something to just clear your mind.

Answer 10

You may have a simple chemical imbalance. Print this out and take it to your general practioner and talk to them about it.

Excersise helps, watching a good movie, but those are short-term.

Good luck! I've been through depression, and it's REALLY hard to talk to someone about it and ADMIT it, but please do it! It really will help. Good luck to you.