Need Help with sleeping!!?

Question

My son just turned 3 and refuses to sleep in his own bed. He has never slept in my bed or with me even as an infant. the last few months have been H*LL. He will not go to bed, and refuses to sleep unless he is in my room with me beside him. I have tried not talking to him, and escorting him back to his room and this does not work. I have done this ALL night, every time he gets out of his bed(from 8pm to 8 am he won't give in) I have taken out naps, No sugar, juice ect after 5pm. I have laid down with him in his bed, I have scolded him, I have praised his efforts I have done everything I can think of.... but it does not work! I need some help getting sleep! He is a tosser and a turner at night... I have woken up many times with bloody noses (me not him) from him kicking me, as well as multiple bruises, backaches and the works. I am currently 4 weeks away from having my second son and on a good night... I am getting about 3 hours of sleep. I NEED HELP! any ideas please???

I have also tried sleeping on the couch.... but he follows me or finds me their also, and has to be beside me. My husband and I haven't shared a bed in at least 3 months because of this. Please help!

Answer 1

Might be time for the magical sword mom. I did this with my son. I bought him a plastic sword and some glitter. I held the sword over the garbage can and sprinkled the glitter over it, and then dusted it off. I told him this was magic powder that made the sword stronger. It helped little boys sleep in their beds and feel safe. I also told him his dad had one when he was a little boy, his dad went along with this. We talked about how the sword brought good dreams and protected little boys in their beds at night, so they didn't need to be in mom and dad's bed. We really sold this story to him. He bought it and it worked. Mom to 3.

Answer 2

You are in need of help you poor thing, your son is at the age where he knows a new baby is coming and for him this is a change. Changes can cause young children to feel unsettled. Has he seen the babies room, new clothes, toys etc.

He might be feeling a little bit left out and vying for your attention, so what is the best way to get attention? Don't go to bed for Mummy.

Have you thought about purchasing him a gift from the new baby? A night light, a nice cuddly teddy or even a new pillow for his bed, something that relates to his bedroom.

You sound like you have tried everything and I know how exhausting it is having no sleep and especially being in the late stages of pregnancy.

Keep putting him into his bed, reassure him that you are there, so he feels secure. Each night start of with a story, and say goodnight and wait near the door, a few nights later wait outside the door, if he complains tell him you are there and he now needs to go to sleep. Keep trying this over and over for the next few weeks.

Good Luck,
Mum of a 2 year old

Answer 3

The best suggestion I have is a consistent bedtime routine. Now, it doesn't work in one night, but hopefully within a few days it will start to fall into place. For his age, bath( if bath night), 3-4 books, some quiet time with mom or dad in his room and then bed. If he gets up, put him back,
tell him you love him and walk out. After that if he comes out, put him back, do not say away and repeat until he gets the idea. The first few nights this may take a toll on you. He could go at this for several hours. He is looking for attention, maybe in anticipation of the upcoming baby. He may not be sure what his role in the family is going to be, or if you are still going to love him. Eventually, with the routine and the lack of attention both positive and negative he will go back to being good at going to bed. This routine will also be helpful once you have the baby, because it can be a special time with only you and he really will need that as he adjusts to his new role as a big brother. My son was a bear to put down at from 4 months on. Finally with my husband on board, I developed a routine and we have few bedtime troubles and he is almost 2. I am starting a much simpler one with my 5 month old hoping to avoid the struggles I had with my older one. If you already have a consistent routine stick with it and do what I suggested about when he gets up. This new baby can be a bigger transition for your son than you, and he needs the consistency and love from you and your husband. Maybe even talk about the new baby when you have quiet time to reasure him of his role in the family. Remember, yelling at him is attention and he may be craving it. You could also try a morning reinforcer such as a sticker chart and when he has 3 stickers, you will take him on an outing. Some of this stuff I have seen on Nanny 911, but I have also used similar strategies in my profession.

Answer 4

I think he's feeling jealous about this new baby on the way, he feel like soon he's going to have to share you!! Has he change rooms or bed because of the new arrival?? If so my son did the same thing when moved to a new room and bed. we started a reward program. I printed a calander and for every night he stayed in his bed he got a sticker, after he got a weeks worth of stickers we took him to the store and let him pick out a toy. Just him and I ALONE!! Within a few days he was staying in bed. And after a few weeks we weaned him from the stickers!!

Answer 5

It may be because of the new baby on the way. When i had my last baby my son refused to leave my side. Eventually he wouldn't leave my bed. I found out after asking him what was wrong was that he was afraid that I would leave him. So, we went on a shopping trip and bought him his own cuddly buddy and a better night light. I reminded him how much I Loved him and I started to go to sleep with him in his bed. Then after a few nights I told him his new "friend" would watch him for me. it took a week or so more but soon after he felt more at ease. Don't forget the end of pregnancy brings on unseen anxiety and our toddlers can see and feel it too.

Answer 6

It sounds like you have tried just about everything. Your son is still pretty young, so I would set up his crib again and tell him that he will have to sleep there until he is ready to act like a big boy and then he can have his big boy bed back. Give him the option every night of going in his "baby crib" or his "big boy bed". Chances are he is not going to want to have anything to do with the crib. If he chooses the big boy bed, make it very clear to him that if he gets out of bed or throws a fit that he will have to go in the crib. Make a sticker chart and every night that he stays in his bed let him put a sticker on the chart in the morning. After he stays in his bed for a full week, take him some place fun and remind him that he is there because he went to bed like a big boy. I hope this works for you...most toddlers don't want anything to do with baby things anymore, so it might motivate him to go to bed. Good luck with this and the new baby!

Answer 7

oh you poor thing, im sorry that its been so rough, the only thing i can suggest is to put him back in the crib, and to let him cry it out. Maybe moving his bed into your room would help for now if you dont want to do the crib thing. I hope you can get some sleep soon. If all else fails, let him nap and then you can too. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 8

This goes against everything I USED to believe in...but our daughter who didn't even start watching tv til she was one or so...sleeps with the tv on...she's now 4 and been doing it for over a year. It just happened...when her Grandma bought her a new princess tv. When she doesn't have it on, she won't sleep. I put a movie in for her/or she does and she's usually out in five minutes...lol...we do reading before bed too which calms her down. :)

Good luck!

Answer 9

Oh god, I feel so bad for you, my son went through that at the exact same age! They start having a lot of fears at that age. What fixed it for me won't work for you unfortuneately..... I had another son that was 18 months at the time, and I moved them into the same room together and that immediately fixed his sleep issues. Almost 4 years later they're still going strong together.

They can't always voice exactly what their fears are, but what worked for my son temporarily before we moved them together was many nightlights, closet light on, door open, etc.
I wish I could help more, there is nothing worse than these sleep issues.

Answer 10

I just want to say that removing a nap might be making things worse. If you remove a nap from a kid who needs one, they become restless and it's even harder for them to settle down at night. Also, be more robotic from 8-8 at night. No eye contact, very little (if any) dialogue, and consistency. Think about those nanny shows. The only other thing that I can think of is that he wants you all to himself (and he knows his brother is coming, right?) so show him extra love during the night sleep routine. The rest of it- good luck!! I have 2.5 year old and know I will probably have to go through this later myself.