Everything on the bridal registry is so expensive. What should I do ?

Question

I have to buy a gift for the wedding shower and everything on her list is crazy expensive plus they're having presentation at the wedding so I have to give them $50-100. Someone told me that normally people don't have a registry and presentation. They aren't living together until after the wedding so I guess that kind of explains both. But do I have to do both? This wedding I'm attending is going to put me into debt.

Answer 1

I think this is pretty inconsiderate... but I'm going to give the bride the benefit of the doubt and consider that she wasn't really thinking... additionally, she probably just registered for what she liked and didn't give much consideration to the price of anything....

I think that if you gave the couple a small gift that isn't on the registry, they would be thrilled. I think a registry should be used as a guidline.

Answer 2

If by presentation you means cards at the wedding and she is also have a shower...that is tradition. But the dollar amount is a gift....not set in stone. I would ignore the registry all together for the shower....most people do, especially when the bride is greedy. The gift card for one of the places on her registry is a nice idea...but you can give a very nice gift for $25. If you are panicked so are other guests. The other way around this is to go in on a gift with other people. What is your relationship to her? Call other people in the same circle (friends, cousins, coworkers whatever your relationship and ask---they will probably be relieved). Usually there is a card given at the wedding. If they are planning to make it a formal ceremony don't sweat it, its supposed to stay in the envelope. If they are specifying the $50 to $100 they are greedy mongers and all their guests know it. Immediate family often gives this amount. You can check with the etiquette people but it is my understanding that its about $30 for a single and $40-50 for a couple in the envelope these days that is considered a nice gift.

Answer 3

There is no "etiquette" dictating the cost of a gift or money given.

What etiquette DOES dictate is this:
ANY gift should be given from the heart. It should not make the giver struggle, nor should it be inappropriately extravagant. The gift you give should reflect your relation to this person as well as your feeling for them.

What this means is that you should only give what your pocketbook can easily afford (if this is $20 or $200 that it what it is). Buy them something NOT on their registry, but in YOUR price range and do not contribute to the fund. Or contribute to the fund but do not purchase an additional gift - and here is why is say this...

From the couple's side, etiquette dictates that they should register for a variety of things in a wide price range (if theyre going to register at all) so that they can accommodate all budgets. They are also supposed to accept ALL gifts graciously, whether it is from their registry or not. Asking for 2 gifts is downright rude, especially for the shower because many shower attendees still purchase a wedding gift as well, which means shes hoping for 3 gifts from each person attending the shower!

Answer 4

The whole registry thing was set up by smart businesses so they can make loads of money while they are seen to provide a much needed service! Pppfffttt... anyone who's getting married appreciates a gift that has some thought put into the buying .. not simply by choosing the cheapest thing on the list and having it wrappped and delivered, end of story. Think about what sort of decor their house is, or if that's too hard, a gift card or voucher from the store where the damned registry is held will help them get the big ticket things that will invariably be left because of the price tag!! Do'nt get into debt over someone elses wedding - that's their prerogative! Just enjoy the celebration and thank them for having you be a part of it!

Answer 5

you don't have to get something from the registry list - look at it for ideas of what she likes/wants and get something inspired by it at a less expensive store. Or get something completely different. You are giving the gift so you don't have to be told what to get.
I went to a wedding recently and saw a bunch of kitchen wear on the registry so i got the bride (at her shower) a nice but inexpensive cookbook for newly married couples (great idea). Then for the wedding i got them both some of the things from the list except from a different store and something more personal for them.

And I think you should bring a gift for the shower and then one for the wedding (maybe get a 2 part gift and give one at the shower and the other at the wedding)

you don't have to go into debt - be creative!
Good luck and God bless!!

Answer 6

Why do people assume they have to buy someone somthing from their registry list. I put the registry for those who have no clue or just rather not work on finding me something they would like. I say you should be able to go out there and buy them what you want. Like towels, who goes wrong with towels? A Nice picture frame or something like a gift card to a grocery store. You never know how the couple will be with money after they have payed for a wedding. Be who you are and buy what you want. I wouldn't worry about it. And what is a presentation? is it like a party light thing or marykay person selling things she wants and you pick something you buy? That is asking way too much. Good Luck in whatever you do.

Answer 7

You definitely do NOT have to buy something from the registry; we never do. We prefer to buy gifts we think the couple will like. For the shower, you don't have to spend a lot - just look around for sales of kitchen stuff and accessories. You can get a nice gift, or a collection of smaller ones, for under $20.
For the wedding, why do you "have" to give money? That's really odd and rude. I would just give a nice, modest gift.

Answer 8

Just do what you can afford. I do know that a lot of the things I have on my registery is expensive, but that was not by choice. Sometimes what you want to put on a registery, even the cheapest of that kind is fairly pricy, but maybe you caould go to a less expensive store to get the same thing. That is just a thought ;) I also know that I certainly don't plan on anyone going in debt over my wedding. I want it to be a time of joy and happiness, not hardship bc someone did more than they financially were able to. I'm sure the bride and groom would understand if you didn't do both...Hell I'd even understand if you couldn't do either....As long as you were there to be happy with us :)

Answer 9

Any gift will be appreciated and a registry is just a list of things they would like, not a required list of things you must get.
A pretty frame for their wedding picture or maybe a special photo album for their honeymoon photos are great gifts.
You can get Lenox frames brand new on ebay, just make sure that the one you bid on includes the original packaging. Any bride would love that since newlyweds seem to coat their walls and shelves with pictures from their weddings. Its very easy to get things inexpensively on ebay, take a look and see if anything strikes you in there. It doesnt have to be a frame, it could be a unique kitchen tool, some funky dish towels, or some cool napkin rings. If you can think of it, chances are you will find someone on ebay that is selling it.
Or you could make a little basket of neat breakfast items that they could use on their first married morning after their honeymoon. You could fill it with pancake mix, some gourmet syrup, some jams, a small bag of gourmet coffee and 2 cute mugs, it doesnt need to cost alot of money to be a good gift.

Honestly, unless this girl is a complete savage, she will be just as thrilled with a 5 dollar box of wine charms as she is with a 50 dollar bottle of wine.

Answer 10

For the shower, you can definitely buy something that isn't on the registry...like bath stuff or a nightie - something girly for her. For the wedding, can you think of anything special that you could make? My mom is an artist, so for one wedding, she painted a picture of the couple's dog for me to give them. For another wedding, I created a scrapbook of their relationship. In both cases, the presents didn't cost a lot, but they were very well received. In fact, for the dog painting, the couple told me that it was their favorite gift.