We've been unhappy lately..arguing all the time. She says shes unhappy because im too controlling, dont give her enough space. The other nite we had a bad fight and I left her house thinking we were done. My question is: Once I realized I probably lost the love of my life, it dawned on me that maybe it was me who was the problem (or much of it). So, I wrote her a letter, in it I told her exactly how I felt and dropped it off at her work (my dad's bar). So if I am truly sincere about changing my ways and wrote in my letter just how sincere I was, do u think she'll come back? If she answered the phone and didnt hang up on me, it must mean she cares right? I plan on just leaving her alone, giving her sometime and when shes ready she'll call me
2007-03-19 13:59:05 · 14 answers · asked by Carlos 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All guys are controlling, even those who think they are not. However, you are in a good position since you seem to have a good awareness of yourself, and half the battle is recognition of your behavior. It also sounds very promising to me that you are very willing to talk and discuss the issues with your girlfriend, I think it bodes very well for your relationship. You really can learn from each other and accomodate and compromise so that you have a relationship which will nurture each of you. I wish you all the best, you sound like a great guy.
2007-03-19 14:06:07 · answer #1 · answered by Nanneke 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I used to be really controlling. Every relationship I had broke up in some way or another because I was too controlling. I read some books and took a brave and hard turn to change my ways. Im a 28 year old female. I will tell you, it took 2-3 years to change how I was. But now I see what controlling is and I don't want to be like that.
The problem you're having is you have maybe recognized it in yourself, but she has been dealing with it the whole time. It would be wise and appreciated if you just left her alone for a couple days.
BUT DON'T DO IT FOR A REASON. Don't do it so she'll change her mind, or so that youve proven to her you've changed. Thats whats hard about controlling. You HAVE to let it go. Take those couple of days, do something to get your mind off of it, and IN A COUPLE DAYS, then analyze it.
And read some self-help books. The book I am referring to you is actually a love-addiction book. But being controlling has somewhat to do with being a love-addict. Learn about the cycles. I read "facing love addiction" by Pia Mellody.
2007-03-19 14:51:34 · answer #2 · answered by Niki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no guarantee that she will come back. Making positive changes to your character will make you a better person whether or not you get her back. If things don't go the way you would like them to look at this as a difficult lesson taught. For now you must give her her space. You can show her better than you can tell her. If you make positive changes if she's looking she will easily see. It takes two to loose out on a relationship. Even though you had a lot of improving, don't beat yourself up. Do what you can. That's all you CAN do. Good luck.
2007-03-19 14:04:51 · answer #3 · answered by blank 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The controlling issue is actually a cop-out. Women actually have the control. They all have something that 'we' men want.
Most women say this sort of thing to see just how much they control us. So, you in turn, give the space that she wants so that she can do her thing. But, what if you try to do your thing at this time also. It causes her to become angry, because you are doing something without her. So, in retrospect, she is in control, because while she is out doing her thing, you are staying at home waiting for her to decide when it's ok for you to be with her.
2007-03-19 14:11:53 · answer #4 · answered by dakotaviper 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's perfect hun. You've done the best you can. If she doesn't come back then it's not meant to be. Really try not to be controling. Ask her what you can do. The fact that she answered the phone is a big step. She does care.
2007-03-19 14:04:00 · answer #5 · answered by Future Mrs. Beuerlein 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - if you want to save your relationship, call her RIGHT NOW. She'll be sitting there thinking you don't even care enough about her to call her.
You can't TELL someone that you are going to change - you have to SHOW it. And it may just be too late.
Get in there and give her a call NOW!
2007-03-19 14:02:57 · answer #6 · answered by iliketorideigohago 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was very sweet. and i agree with you, when she is ready, she will call you. but if she doesn't maybe you can stop by her job, with something sweet like roses, and candy in a couple of dayz.
and depending on how bad the fight was, u said it was mostly ur fault..sHOW her u love her, and are willing to change your controling wayz lol
maybe u can call her and if she doesnt answer leave her a message :)
2007-03-19 14:03:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are like fish in the ocean. Don`t go crazy over her , let her be crazy for you. She is trying to manipulate you. Space equals I want to date the other guys that are hitting on me at the bar.
Step back and relax.
2007-03-19 14:03:47 · answer #8 · answered by Heads up! 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you say
"YOU NEED" or "YOU SHOULD" to your girlfriend, then you are controlling...
none of us know what other people need or should do.
instead of blaming, try to look at the big picture. perhaps you two can get together and talk, try to work things out.
i hope she calls soon. take care of YOU.
2007-03-19 14:04:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a ***** just like mine they have no idea. Im thinking mental even
2007-03-19 14:02:14 · answer #10 · answered by joe n 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋