Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Do married people live longer than single people, or does it just SEEM longer?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
2007-03-19 12:27:29 · 16 answers · asked by jonny boy 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
They are SO good.
Good on you for sharing them with us.
"Laughter is good for the soul"
Thanks!
2007-03-19 12:32:13 · answer #1 · answered by Peta G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you never see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
is made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a "broker"?
Why the time of day with the slowest traffic is called rush hour?
Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
2007-03-19 13:05:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. I have a rat peeking. 2. I'm prairie dogging 3. I'm moray eeling (massive) 4. I have to take a shiss (diarreah) 5. I have a freight train knocking.
2016-03-29 06:41:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heard some of it before, kind of like what Steven Wright would do in his routines, 8/10
2007-03-19 12:37:33 · answer #4 · answered by zeroartmac 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love those things they crack me up everytime
when a deaf person goes to court is called a hearing
do you need a silencer to shoot a mime
2007-03-19 14:46:10 · answer #5 · answered by stl34 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've always wanted to know why psychics ask for your credit card number. Or what you want them to tell you.
2007-03-19 12:33:58 · answer #6 · answered by Jim C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
totally funny!!!some were kind of lame but the others more than made up for that...Thanx a lot for cheering me up.I really needed that.
2007-03-22 09:07:27 · answer #7 · answered by Lamya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of them were kinda cheesy, but they were pretty good.
I needed something to laugh at today.
2007-03-19 12:33:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good points. All are cool. 10 for each one!
2007-03-19 14:44:15 · answer #9 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahahahahahaha! That's funny! I am definitely going to star it! I wouldn't call it crap.
2007-03-19 12:33:18 · answer #10 · answered by Prayer Warrior 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋