I am 43 and my husband 55,married 3 years,both never married before,and I dont want kid but he wants,what todo

Question

I am 43 and my husband 55,married 3 years,both never married before,and I dont want kid but he wants,what todo
I am 43 and my husband 55,married 3 years,both never married before,and I dont want kid but he wants,what should I do. because he wants me to do test tube but I dont like at all,he said if not he will divorce me ,he thinks no kid is no hope no future.

Answer 1

Didn't you know that before you married this man? Or you two never talked about it? Before you go ruining a child life leave this marriage if your heart not being a good mom or a wanted mom. I don't understand as old as you two you didn't have a understanding about if there was going to be kids or not. Or did you just fig er own your own he to old to have kids. Am forty and my boyfriend is 53 and he also want a kid from me and he would like one, but right from the beginning I told him am not having no kids and if you really want one am not the one for you so stop asking. He stop too. And if he go's on to make one with someone then let it be, because am not having no more children.

Answer 2

First of all, it's dangerous at your age for you and the baby. You willhave a higher chance of having a baby with birth defects bcuz of your age. Also, check out the cost of a "test tube" baby, not cheap AND no guarantees of pregnancy. Maybe you could use a surrogate Mom, she carries a baby that is your and your hubby's genetically, she's just the incubator. If there are other reasons you don't want to have a kid, tell him those reasons. If he is still so unreasonable point out that he'll be long past the age of traveling and having the freedom to do what older adults do when their kids have flown the nest. If all else fails consider the "D" word and let him find someone who wants a dad for her kid that will be 73 when the kid graduates.

Answer 3

You can't be blackmailed in to having a child, and it is risky for you to do it at this point in your life. It seems that maybe the two of you need to seek some counceling if your relationship has hit this kind of an ultimatum. You can't have a child just because he wants one. It changes your whole life forever, and if you are not willing to do that then you can't do it just to please him. Remind him that as he is already 55 years old he may not live long enough to see your child enter high school or beyond. And he will be so much older when it comes time for kids sports, scouts, clubs and activities that the child will want to be taken to and supported. It is not only the financial support of a child but the emotional support they need as well that needs to be kept in mind as well.

Answer 4

Kick the dipwad to da kerb!! This jerk is tryin' to ruin 2 lives (yours and the kid's) over some vanity issue. Doesn't he realize that when the kid is old enuff to get a driver's liscense he'll be 72 YEARS OLD?

This should have been decided long before marriage. Hell, it's something HE should have been thinking about/doing 30 years AGO!!!

My advice: Beat him to the punch..... file first and take him to the cleaners.
If he's ready to divorce you over this then there's not much love to be lost!

Answer 5

I think you guys shoulda had this conversation before you married, but yeah, a bit too late. I think it's rather selfish of him to say that, like he doesn't love you if you don't provide an offspring. Who's gonna change the diapers? who's gonna have to take time off work? How will you income, work schedule be affected by the arrival of a child?

Now, to consider his point of view....... how many children do each of you have, separately? Have you considered adoption? are you guys financially well off? Must he have a child of his own flesh & blood?

I think you guys ought to sit with a couples therapist, and see how you can resolve this situation, because it doesn't seem fair and it sounds liek there's no twisting his arm on this situation. Well, what do you say?

Answer 6

If 1 out of the 2 parents don't want a child then the answer is no. Looks like he married the wrong woman.

Answer 7

My wife could not have children without surgery. We picked adoption! And we adopted a child, not a baby. Neither of us could handle raising a baby. We were too old. Worked out fine for both of us. He is now 15. We adopted thru a state agency because it cost almost nothing.

Answer 8

I agree with #1 answer. You ahould have talked children BEFORE you got married. I would talk to your husband about the risks of gettting pregnant at your age.

http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/midlifepregnancy/a/aa061001a.htm

Answer 9

Tell him he or no one else will pressure you into doing something you don't want to do and he might as well plan on getting a divorce as no childen will be born of this relationship.

Answer 10

Why don,t you babysit my 4kids he'll change his mind fast. I"M 43yr old .. I,m going nuts.....Tell him no way...if he love you he will understand''' or he can take the highway out?