Why do I feel this way about my boyfriend?

Question

He's really perfect, the guy that anyone would want. My parents and friends loove him, he has a nice body, he is smart and really nice, treats me well, he's really romantic, eagerly trying to please me all the time. He plays the guitar, has a job, studies at university, does sports. He is honest and generous and a really nice person inside and outside. He is basically perfect. But still - this feeling comes over me every once in a while (usually more times a week, almost every day, especially at night, and especially when I'm not with him) that I just don't want to be with him even though he's really good and we have fun together. I've always known that I'm not in love while he is. But still, I respect him and feel an affection towards him. He's perfect, so why don't I want him so bad? Why do I feel miserable sometimes? Why do I feel good about him sometimes? Why can't I fall in love with him? What's happening? What should I do? (Way too many questions sorry)

Answer 1

Well sweetie..... Im guessing you already know the answer in your heart. Follow your heart. He may abe a perfect guy but not be the perfect guy for you. Be strong and respect yourself.........do whats right!

Answer 2

I have a couple of answers. I experienced a relationship like this in the past. I was with this guy who seemed perfect for me, but after being with him for a couple of years, I started seeing him as a friend. I don't know if that is what you are feeling, but maybe you're starting to see him as a friend. I actually started looking at other guys and I felt bad. But after pondering over this, I realized that maybe I wasn't truly in love with him. It might hurt him, but you should think about going out with other guys just to see what happens.
Another reason you're feeling this is maybe the both of you are in a routine. I don't know the details of you're relationship, that can happen. Although you are in love, you find that you're doing the same routine every week. That can cause a relationship to dwindle. Try to do new and exciting things that you haven't done before.
Probably try to spice up the relationship, and if that doesn't work, maybe it's time to move on.

Answer 3

Basically it seems that he loves u and u like him but dont love him back...I had the same problem with my ex. He told me he loved me and i talked to him and said i didnt love him back and couldnt say it to him and he understood but after a while it got really hard to hear him say I love u all the time and I couldnt respond back! He was perfect... he always wanted me to be happy, he was a great guy did everything a bf could do for me... when we did fight we fought over stupid stuff! After along time of thinking i thought it was best if we took a break...i talked to him and he understood... when on a break I realized that he was a great guy but it was wrong to be in a relationship with someone that feels more for me then i could feel for him so we ended up breaking up.... I think for you u have to really sit down and talk to him tell him how ur feeling and maybe go on a break and see how it is without him! You could find out that when he is gone u do truely love him and miss him or u might find out that he is not the one! The only way to figure this one out is to talk to the bf and tell him everything b/c he seems like the guy that would understand and do anything to save the relationship!!! Good luck and hope this helps!!

Answer 4

Sometimes its hard to explain. Sometimes there is just a bad feeling we get when we just don't have the level of feeling we would hope to have in a given situation. Somehow this person is NOT giving you everything you need in the relationship. It could be closeness or it could be sexual. Maybe deep down you are looking for something entirely different yet there is so much pressure to stay with THIS guy because everyone says he is so perfect. Maybe he is perfect. Maybe hes just not perfect for you. Your goal should be to determine exactly what your looking for. It really isn't fair to this guy that your feelings are not or maybe never will be as strong as his are.

Answer 5

It seems you WANT to be in love rather than actually being in it. Some people just don't develop strong feelings for others they date. Happens a lot. Just don't find yourself in a position where you are only with him cause you are content with the situation and you think that you'll eventually fall in love with him.

You are doing a disservice for both of you. Any serious relationship you get yourself into, there has to be a strong connection. Not just because, he's nice, he's perfect la de da...
If he was perfect for you, you wouldn't be having problems like this. Unless you've got self-confidence issues yourself and can't fathom that you've found someone you quite possibly deserve for once.

Answer 6

Wow i had a similar problem with my current boyfriend i just thought that he was too damn perfect.. But later i found out that the reason why i couldn't fall in love with him was because i had been so torn on past relationships that i couldn't give my all in this one.. But don't make a mistake because you never miss your water until the well runs dry. Just take a day to evaluate your situation focus more on you, like what do you want out of life and a relationship and if you think that he can give you all that and more then stay with him, if not then leave.

Answer 7

It's lovely that you care and you should let him know that. Just don't fool yourself when things start to get serious i.e. the question of marriage.

It doesnt mean that you both care for each other then things will be perfect. Sometimes perfection isnt what we're after either..

I suggest you talk to him about these 'feelings'. Because you cant make him the pillar in your relationship if you cant carry the same weight.

Answer 8

Probably one of those too good syndromes. Many girls just aren't happy with the perfect guy, they need something to complain about. Strange but true.

Now another thing could be this... How many bfs have you had? If it's not many you may need to get more experience. You may have the urge to see whats out there. You can't appreciate the good without knowing the bad as well.

Answer 9

That's really sad.

However, it's best to be truthful to him. Tell him (as nicely as you can) that you want some time to figure out how you really feel about him. Try to be kind of vague. Don't tell him you don't love him - just yet anyway.

Basically, my advice is to take a break. See how you feel about not being with him. If it makes you happy and you feel better off without him then the only thing left to do is break it off.

It doesn't matter if your family and friends like him. Don't worry about disappointing them. You can't be with someone if you don't really love them.

I hope it works out!

Answer 10

I will tell you this. After putting up with men that just really have no respect for you at all for atleast 20 years of my life. You just learn to appreciate someone like that. Try living with one that just wants to beat on you for nothing and call you names and flirts with other girls young ones at that while your standing there and makes you feel like a worthless peace of trash for a while then you will love him. I know this is hard for you to take cause i don't think you have experienced this kind of thing. But it takes a really big bite out of your ability to have a relationship with anyone. So if you gotta good one you better hang on to him. Cause there very few and hard to find.

Answer 11

ok so im thinking that maybe you see him more as a friend. i had that problem with a guy i was with for a long time. like after awhile i just saw him as a friend. that could be it. just imagine if he wasnt in your life. how would you feel then? you cant keep doubting. you need to be positive about what you want. just dont make the mistake of letting him go if thats not what you want. just ask yourself, how would you feel if you didnt have him. that should help alot. good luck figuring out a solution.