I know this happens to everyone but I don't know what to do anymore, I feel so empty...?

Question

My boyfriend and I were together for over 2 years and we even lived together for some of that time. However lately we just werent getting along and it's like we both knew what was going to happen, but avoided it. But today we officially broke it off, so it was pretty mutual. The thing is even though I sort of knew it was coming and kind of wanted it myself, I just feel so empty inside. This is the worst feeling I've ever had and I can't stop crying. I know he somewhat feels the same, we both cried and felt it'd be better off going our own separate ways. But now that it's for real it makes me so sad. I guess it really hasn't sank in. How am I supposed to move on and be happy without him? How do I let 2 years of memories just fade away? I don't know what to do...I miss him so much already and we've only been apart for an hour...it's so...strange not being able to just call him up to hang out or having him sleep next to me. Any advice on how to help me move on and cope with these feeling?

Answer 1

i know how you feel... and im really sorry that you're going through this. but this is something you will get over. but it will take some time, but you will meet someone greater. and im not saying that just to make you feel better. its the truth. best wishes.

Answer 2

Yes... Go out and take care of YOU. I have been in your exact situation more than once, unfortunately. Breaking up is the WORST. Right now you are missing the familiar and as you said you knew that it was coming and that its for the best. You will start to feel better, believe me. It takes some time and be appreciative of that time it takes because it means that relationship actually meant something to you and was not a waste of two years. Maybe you guys can be friends when some time passes. It's not impossible.

Go out, get dressed up. Hang out with some friends. Go see your family. Take a class. Anything to keep your mind busy, just don't do what I have done and sit on the couch and cry - life is WAY too short for that!

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I know exactly what you are going through. I have been there myself. It's like you weren't really happy with him but life without him is so hard to imagine. Well the good news is it gets much better. You just have to build a new routine. Start by doing all the things you wished you could do while you were together but didn't have the time. Like shopping with a friend, or going camping with family. Whatever it is that you felt held back from. (Just don't get too crazy with it, LOL) Thats easy to do too. Freedom can be great, even if a situation wasn't horrible, it feels nice after a while to only have to worry about yourself and not have to deal with the little things that bugged you so much about the other person. Like them leaving the toothpaste cap off, or sleeping with a nightlight on. Anyways just try to focus on the ways that life is better without them and try not to think about what you miss.

Answer 4

It does get better, It takes about 2 weeks for the feeling of being on your own to subside, then you start to recover. Don't stop seeing friends and going out as this adds to sadness, If you were not getting on then think what it would have been like to share a life together and to raise children in that environment, not good. You will survive and the hurt will eventually go away, memories will stay with you, hopefully the good ones. Your soul mate is out there somewhere. Good Luck.

Answer 5

take it day by day, go out with friends, keep yourself busy, you will know when you are ready to move on to dating again, I have had a few relationships that lasted over 5 yrs and ended, one with my sons father, we were together for 6 yrs and now apart for 3 yrs, it gets better faster than I thought, and I have since had a 2 yr relationship that ended about 4 months ago and recently started dating again.

Take the time to do for you, spoil yourself, get a manicure a new hairstyle, work out, make yourself feel good, find yourself and dont worry about finding another man, or getting him back, everything will fall into place the way its meant too as time goes on...

It hurts, and feels awful, but the pain fades away, even the bad memories do, and then you really do realize that it was all for a purpose.

Answer 6

It's tough dealing with loss, and that is what you are experiencing. the loss of a relationship and what that entailed. right now your pretty raw emotionally.. and thats ok and expected.. do you have pets? sometimes that can help, to get one if you don't. take walks, exercise.. one can become depressed in broken relationships.. and exercise is great to lift you, make sure too you eat properly. also, i go find a place i can do some volunteering at .. helping others really lifts me when i am low. i get focused better on life not thinking about it all the time.. the distancing helps me get back in balance. You remember the positive stuff and be grateful for the times you did have. and know you will have more in the future. maybe not the same, but, i often find if i let it, their even better!... good luck to you..

Answer 7

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Most of us go through a series of relationships before finding our true mates - which means there are a lot of people who know just how you feel right now.

You don't even try to make the memories go away. Any relationship teaches you things about yourself and the world around you, so wherever you go, he will be part of you and you part of him. Bless him, in your heart, for sharing himself with you and teaching you.

Now on to other things. Accept that what you're going through is normal and will fade in time - so long as you don't sit in a corner, staring at it. Of course you miss him - he was a big part of your life - but sitting around, staring at the hole he left behind will not make you happier, or change anything.

Get busy! Get involved! It matters less "in what" than that you do it at all. Volunteer in your community (almost every charity cna use volunteers, especially for special events). Take the time that he occupied in your life and fill it with new interests. You'll meet new people, know you're contributing to the world around you in a positive way, fill up that time, and be too busy to brood.

When it hurts, you take it out, look at it, say, "Of course it hurts - this was big change," then you put it away and get back to what you were doing. In time, the pain will fade and you'll be able to remember him fondly. In time, you'll meet someone new who will occupy your thoughts.

For now, you just need to accept that this is natural and be sure you don't sit around, moping.

Answer 8

i know what your feeling cause me and my girlfriend went through the same problem but that emptiness and hurt your feeling is the pain of letting go, it hurts to let go but, time does heal and thats what i've come to learn. yes, your going to miss him and no the memories that you and him shared isn't going to fade away. letting go gets better day by day, if this is something you and him really want than you both can't be on the phone with each other everyday unless you and him is on terms of working things out and getting back together. being on the phone or hanging out will only create a stronger emotional attachment. just give it time, things will get better.

Answer 9

There's nothing wrong with keeping the memories. People do grow apart and it happens all the time like you said. You'll be fine, just like the millions of other people that go through this every single day. Keep an open channel of communications with him, cordial and friendly. No need to cut off all access to this man.

Keep yourself busy with friends and family. Don't go looking for a new relationship for while. Rebound "love" is usually only instant gratification that ends in instant regret. The old addage that there are plenty of fish in the sea is a good one to remember, just keep in mind that it's ok to "catch and release".

Good luck

Answer 10

Hun look the only real medicine to getting over someone is TIME. For the time being try taking up new things like writing, try writing yknw poems, or a song even cause thats one way of getting all those feelings out cause it works for me whenever i need to get feelings out cause I write myself so thats the best release medicine for me. Otherwise try taking up painting even, or pottery just something to start a new cause at least you can say your giving yourself some space for yourself y knw?? and if you want company enjoy the fun & joy of company of great friends. As for the heart, only time can mend that.

Yes it takes awhile but, you'll eventually get there mate.

All the best and Good Luck

If you want 2 chat some more dont hesitate 2 email me ;)

Answer 11

It is going to take a lot of time and you are going to go through a lot of emotional moments and the best thing you can do is cry and right your feelings down on paper, even like you were writing him a letter but don't send it to him and then you will feel like you are getting it off of your chest. I broke up with the love of my life and we were together for over 3 years and I am still not over him but I am able to go on now i couldn't do anything for 6 months not think of anything but him for that time, but you need to find something to do read a book, find a hobby think of something to occupy your time and not to think of him. But if yo0u do let it out and write it down to help you get thru it, it does work! I will never stop loving my ex and I wish i could turn back time but I was in a terrible car accident and he turned his back on me and wasn't there for me when I needed him the most, that is not love so I had to let him go. It broke my heart but I am strong and I am still going and I have been on some dates and I have met someone i like quite a bit and we will see how it goes. Good Luck!