the neighbors are going to call the police. We have also gotten calls from the babysitter stating that he is disrupting the house..Any ideas on how to resolve this?
2007-03-19 11:41:26 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
My friend, when her little boy acted in that way, she just embraced him, rocked him, and smiled to him, after a while he stopped.
Any child is different than what works for one may not work for another.
2007-03-19 11:54:56 · answer #1 · answered by Susy 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
So, have you noticed any particular triggers to his tantrums...might be that you need to divert his attention away from what he is thinking about...perhaps you could suddenly see a bird up near the ceiling and get him to search for it, or burst into a brilliant rendition of 'The Wheels on the Bus'...be creative.
Why would your neighbours call the police? Go over and tell them that if they hear screaming, it's because your little one is going through the terrible twos and there is nothing to worry about...and if they themselves are parents, they will probably understand.
Finally, you and your husband have to put up a united front and don't give in to him, he has to learn who is in charge. Have you got a travel cot you can put up to keep him confined in for time outs?
2007-03-19 13:31:18 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, so I'm not the only one out there! Well, here's what we had to do:
My three year old had all those symptoms and we are lucky to have a pediatrician that listens to us and takes time to observe our child. He sent us to a behavior therapist. Yes a behavior therapist for a toddler. My son was diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder and ADHD. Of course you can't give a toddler behavior modifying drugs so the therapy is more for us then him. She gave us many techniques to help curb the meltdowns before they happen. In the four months that we have been going, he is a completely different child. His behavior has changed so dramatically.
Talk to your peds doctor and see if your insurance will cover a behavior therapist. The therapist can help figure out your son's triggers (my son was especially bad when tired and overly stimualated) and be able to give you individualized techniques to help you control you child.
Try this website: http://www.familyeducation.com/whatworks/item/group-index/0,2554,1-9126,00.html
2007-03-19 12:35:59 · answer #3 · answered by bctvmanz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm... I dont know about that. I have a 2 year/3 month old, and he has gotten difficult at times, but never screaming. When my son starts crying and whining (like if were in a store and sees a toy) we will say something like "you have one at home" or if your a good boy we will buy it" just try to direct his attention elsewhere... Like if he really wants to watch a movie, and you dont want him to-- go get one of his toys, or puzzles, and say like "can you help mommy with this" or lets play together.
You didn't really say what your child screams about... but, all I can say is try to get him into something else. make him forget about whatever it is he cant have. Don't spank him, that will confuse him. At this age- it is very frustrating (for us too) he doesn't understand why he cant do or get certain things. It is a hard time for 2 year olds, they want to communicate, and almost can, but sometimes it's hard, so be patient.
2007-03-19 12:29:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter was like this too. I swear she was allergic to the word NO!!!
What worked for me, was every time she had a tantrum like that, I just put her in her bedroom and told her that when she could talk to me then I would listen.
At first she would stay in there and just scream and scream. I would go and check on her and ask if she was ready to talk, if the answer was a No, then I would leave.I kept doing tis until she had cried herself out and then would calmly talk to her and get her to expalin why she was crying and why she wasnt allowed whatever she wanted at that time.
Not long after she soon figured out that if she was going to chuck a tantrum she would be sent in her room. So when she was upset she would go in her room all by herself and have a little tantrum, then come out and talk to me.
If I saw she was about to get upset, then I would straight away ask her to use her words, because I cant understand crying and screaming. If she was unable to stop herself from crying I would let her cry for a bit, then we would "use our words".
For some kids it is really hard to control their emotions/feelings na dit gets to much for them and they scream and cry and kick, because they dont know how to express it any other way. So you need to help give them the vocabulary to express it in words. Whether you use the correct terms for frustration, anger, annoyance etc or words that are simple. As they lern to use the words and what feeling they go with, it will reduce the tantrums.
Also try a chart of faces and write the feeling for each face underneath. Make it a game. A smiley face is happy, and get them to do a happy face. An angry face is frowning, and get them to pull an angry face. It helps them see what each emotion looks like so they then can understand how to express that emotion with their faces/body language rather than screaming.
I did try smacking her when she had her tantrums but to no avail. It only made the situation worse. If they are already feeling angry or annoyed or overtired a whack will not stop them feeling like that it will only give them more reason to be upset.
I also tried time outs,and they didnt work. They worked for everything else but not for huge tantrums. Sending her to bed was the only way she would calm down. Because she wasnt getting attention and wasnt allowed to come out till she had stopped and was able to talk to me.
Calm, cool and collected is the way to handle tantrums. I know its hard, but ignore them till they are ready to talk.
2007-03-19 13:14:10 · answer #5 · answered by Monkey Magic 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't spank. It's not like he's playing with matches, which is worthy of a good spanking.
He screams because you react to it and give in. Stop reacting to it, let him scream himself silly and ignore it, walk away. Pretend to read or go fold clothes... do something to be busy. Show him that when he screams because he does not get what he wants, you are unapproachable and unavailable.
Keep saying calmly out loud, 'when you stop screaming , we can talk about what you want.' Praise him when he stops screaming and voices his needs.
Tell him how mommy and daddy and big boys don't scream, they talk. Do skits with your husband on negotiating for him to watch.
Make a huge fun fantastic deal out of the times he does not scream.
2007-03-19 12:03:32 · answer #6 · answered by murkglider 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Does he get what he wants in the end?
Before he starts...if you can give him a choice of two things to do , eat or whatever. Make one of those things something he really likes. When he makes his choice if he gets upset tell him he has made his choice. and then walk away.
Maybe he needs more of sit down play time with you, only you? That could be one of his choices. You'll probably have to observe if he gets disinterested in something. Then give him 2 choices again. Hopefully this helps.
Don't give in to his crying unless he's sick or hurt.
2007-03-19 11:50:03 · answer #7 · answered by Proud Nana 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next time he throws a tantrum, lay down next to him and throw an even bigger fit than he is throwing! That cured my 3 year old very quickly.
When he tried it again, all I had to do was tell him that mama's going to throw a fit too! He stopped instantly.
If that doesn't work, put him in his room every time he throws a fit. When he is quiet and calm, ask him to come back and join the rest of the family.
2007-03-19 11:47:03 · answer #8 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I used to say to my children when they whined - gee, I just can't give you what you want when you talk that way, even if I wanted to. Cause i just can't reward you for that. it worked very effectively.
how often is your son at the babysitter? if it's already full time day care at his tender age, there are very bad effects emotionally and behaviorally from that, so you would have more issues than just not rewarding the poor behavior. you would have anger, lack of trust, lack of bonding.
2007-03-19 12:05:42 · answer #9 · answered by t jefferson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give in to him. If the neighbors call the police and they come and your house is clean and the kid hasn't been beaten and you explain what the problem is you should be alright......... It will be embarrasing, but he will learn that you are not going to be manipulated.
2007-03-19 11:45:51 · answer #10 · answered by Elizabeth L 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would give him a spanking ... but over here in New Zealand our Government has just passed the 'NO SMACKING BILL"
This really stinks. Now the kids can do whatever they like and the parents have to take it.
Good luck with yours.
2007-03-19 11:54:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋