I have been a college student for almost 5 years. First I graduated with a bachelors in music and now I am in nursing school. My husband and I have been together for 3 years and we would love to have a baby someday. The question is...when? We certainly are not rich right now, but we could figure out a way to finance things. I eventually want to go into women's health care and perhaps become a midwife. Thus, you can see I have a passion for childbearing, etc. How do I reconcile the fact that part of me wants to start a family now, even though part of me figures I should wait until everything is "perfect" emotionally, physically, financially, school-wise, geographically, etc.! Thanks for your insights.
2007-03-19 11:30:13 · 8 answers · asked by yolanda 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
By the time you reach all of your current goals, you'll probably have more goals set (ex. 'Right now I want to finish school', later, 'Right now I want to finish paying off my student loans'). So waiting until things are "perfect" is taking a chance that you'll be beyond a healthy, reasonable age for pregnancy and child rearing.
Having the baby sooner means being in a better physical state to handle it and being young enough for your teen to "relate to". At the same time, you want to make sure you're timing is right in regards to financial and emotional strains. Being a full-time student and a full-time mom is tough, but it's do-able with the right motivation and intent. In the end, your struggles will be worthwhile.
Becareful with over-spending for your first-born. Your excitement might lead you to buy unnecessary extras and that money can be used towards school or your emergency savings account.
2007-03-19 11:49:09 · answer #1 · answered by Mimo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a baby when you are ready. Don't put it off until everything is perfect, or you'll be waiting forever. It's never the perfect time. I had my kids because I was ready to be a mom and my husband was ready to be a dad. We figured out the finances along the way. If you are going to be done with school soon, I would wait until you were done with that. Yes, you can manage to go to school and have a baby, but it is a lot easier to finish when you can focus on just you. I would say as soon as you're done with your education and feel comfortable financially (maybe not perfect, but you know you can afford diapers and clothes), go for it.
2007-03-19 11:41:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is never going to be perfect but it would be easier on you and your husband if you have the basics in order before starting a family. Enough income, good health insurance, enough savings to pay for the unexpected things that always come up, your work in order so you can afford to take at least a few weeks' leave, and then appropriate childcare arrangements set in stone. A baby is not cheap and you'll both be better able to relax and enjoy your baby if you have made solid plans ahead of time.
2007-03-19 11:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Waiting for everything to be perfect will never really happen. At least not necessarily in any given time frame.Would you be able to remain in nursing school after having the baby. Midwifery is a great vocation. Think about how many children you may want, and that can change too.
If you're close to being finished with school go for it.
Good Luck in your decision. You're going to be a great Mom.
2007-03-19 11:44:09 · answer #4 · answered by Proud Nana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no "perfect time"...you sound like you have a good start on life...you are always more physically able to have a child when you are younger, less chance of things going wrong...you also have the advantage of being young enough to care for a child (it is hard work, physically, to take care of a baby) and easier to connect with the "young" point of view...I had my first son at 19 and my second at 24 - I am one of the "cool" moms, whom my teenage son's friends ask advice from...and I am still young enough to actively coach kid's soccer and so-on...
I have always loved this quote by John Lennon...he said, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans..."
2007-03-19 11:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by jgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing you may want to think about is if you have insurance. Having a child is expensive, and I dont even mean caring for a child and upbringing, I just mean the birth. The next thing you may want to consider, do you own a home or rent? It shouldnt matter to much, but you may want to think about it, do you live in your own home with no rude neighbors or do live in a one bedroom apartment with strange people wandering in and out all day? Other than that, it seems like you and your husband have a solid 3 yr. relationship, WHY NOT?
2007-03-19 11:42:30 · answer #6 · answered by woofywaffles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you both feel your ready to have a baby then go for it, we hear a lot asking if they can afford it etc, if we all waited till we could afford it, no one would be having babies would they
have fun trying and best of luck
2007-03-19 11:46:46 · answer #7 · answered by ♥♥™Tia™♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wait until everything in life is perfect, you'll never have children. However please make sure you are ready before getting pregnant.
2007-03-19 11:39:01 · answer #8 · answered by DOT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋