Help with my sister?

Question

My grandpa is dying of cancer, and he wants to spend time with me and my sister, I see him like everyday, and my boyfriend does to, but my sister never see's him, and when she does, see want's money from him and my grandma, I get angry cause , she doesn't care how they feel , and all she does is drink and run wild with her friends and her boyfriend, what can I do. It's really hurting my grandpa , and grandma, she's 16 and she's alrealy drinking , and failing in school. Help

They docter said it might be his last year to see and be around him.

Answer 1

Shorty, my guess is your sister doesn't need to be "set straight" on the situation because she knows and understands it already. There's no use you saying a thing to her. If anyone should try, it should be your parents or, ideally, your grandparents. If your grandpa can get her alone and simply tell her, "It hurts me that you've chosen a few good times over me, because I love you like the dickens and I miss you already," it may jolt her into reality...and it may not. Nobody can "make" anyone do something s/he doesn't want to.

Additionally, your sister is making poor choices for the rest of her life. Drinking and running wild will bring her up against a brick wall one of these days...painfully. Once again...there's nothing you can do about it. Right now, she's your parents' responsibility, not yours. Someday, when you're older (because she probably doesn't quite respect you enough right now to hear "preachy" stuff like this--nothing against you, it's just a pretty typical attitude of older sisters toward younger sisters), you can quietly tell her, "When you hit that brick wall, I'll be here for you." Keep telling her that, even when you'd rather scream at her. And then, be there for her, in a loving way that will help her straighten herself out. Because...remember...nobody can "make" anyone do something s/he doesn't want to. Only your sister will be able to straighten herself out.

In the meantime, be there for your grandma and grandpa both. Play with them. Laugh with them. Tell them you love them both. Just be yourself. This is the greatest thing you can do for them right now.

Good luck, sweetie!

Answer 2

You could speak to your sister and tell her what the doctor says. You could ask your grandma to tell your sister not to ask for money - it probably goes to pay for some of the drinking and going wild. Take a lot of pictures of your grandma and grandpa to show your sister later, after your grandpa has died. Your sister will have regrets when she is older and wiser. But she's not going to get wiser by just being told to smarten up.
I'd protect your grandparents by keeping your sister away - it probably does hurt them and your grandpa can see your sister when she wants to visit without getting money on her mind. The thing is, when someone is driven by selfishness, they don't really want to spend the time unless they can get money out of the situation. So they just don't visit. Don't be surprised if she doesn't show up much.

Answer 3

If she's 16, she's old enough to understand what is going on. If it were me, I would pick a time when she was sober and tell her that you are sorry... because after your grandfather is gone, you will have some wonderful memories, she, on the other hand will probably have fines to pay or summer school to look forward to.

When my Mother-in-law was dying my kids spent as much time as they could with her...canceling plans with friends because they knew that grams didn't have much time. My niece and nephew made it 2 times for less than 15 mins each time. Mine have never regretted that time spent, but my niece has said many times over the last 5 years that she should have spent more time with her grandmother at the last.

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do except enjoy the time you have with your grandfather, it's precious.

Answer 4

I am so sorry for your pain losing a loved one is hard and no matter what anyone says even though he still has a little time it does not prepare you (husband suffered 8 months with cancer).
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to get your sister to spend time with your grandpa, right now she may be to oblivious to notice the pain that she is causing others and when she does become aware of what she lost (time with your grandpa) it will affect her greatly.
In the mean time you spend as much time with him that you can and love him enjoy the time you have and let him know that you love him, you can not worry about your sisters emotions when yours are going crazy on there own.

In my prayers your family will be

Answer 5

Talk to your sister tell her how you feel, even have her, you and your grandparents talk together.

Play a board game something like Chatter Matters, it really starts a conversation, I'm so sorry about your Grandpa, I wish you good luck and I hope your Grandpa gets better!

Answer 6

I think you sould tell her what is importent in life other that money,drinking, and her friends when her grandpa is about to die!

Answer 7

well dear some times you just have to lay down the law i know it is a bad thing to do but her drinking at that age is wrong anyway turn her in to the law..