I am ashamed of myself and scared help..?

Question

okay last month i stole my dads credit card number so i could buy tickets to see a show that my friends were going to. it got worse, because i could not help myself and ordered some band clothes because all these people were wearing it. okay i love that band so much and wanted to see them and i might even get to meet them, i was working and thought i could pay it back later but they fired me for no apparent reason and now the debt is too much that i cant even pay it. my dad hasnt found out yet. and these stuff keep coming to my house and my mom is getting suspenseful[i dont know if i used the word right] i just told her its a band promotion. i feel ashamed of myself how could i ever do this? i felt like he would not find out, but he might and i am scared, he will get very mad if he finds out and i hate myself because i did it. i dont know what to do!!!!!

thanks everyone for your advice...
the band i was going to see.. well i love them but i know i acted childish, and they are not as important to me as my dad is or my parents. i wont enjoy the concert either. but the ticket is unreturnable... and i dont think i can sell it on ebay or anything because i am underage. and if i do sell it, i will have to explain to my friends about the situation and i dont want them to know. i am afraid i will lose their trust also.
and about my job, no no one knew about this, because i never told anyone, and it is not the reason they fired me, there was discrimination going on, i live in a multicultural community and there really is some discrimination, it is hard to find a job if you dont know anyone and have no connections[like me].
and i told my mom about it, she doesnt seem to want to tell my dad for some reason. she thinks my dad might even want to beat me up for this, he gets mad very easily. i dont mind getting beat up

...because i have done a bad thing.
but im scared.
i dont think i can return the items. I WANT TO THOUGH. because it says they is no refund or exchange. so im trapped.

Answer 1

Better come clean now before your dad finds out when he reads his monthly statement. There is no way you can keep this, you know that, don't you?

Answer 2

My recommendation goes along with everyone else's: You need to tell your dad now.

What I'd suggest is gather up all the stuff that's already come in and any information you have for anything that's still on order and take it with you when you talk to him. One way to make a start on making this right is to return the items that can be sent back. You may still owe the shipping charges to you and back to the company but you'll be off as far as the credit company is concerned for the cost of the items. Not only will you reduce what you owe but you'll show your dad that you're ready to make some hard choices to make things right.

Then have a payback plan ready to suggest to him. A couple of suggestions include finding odd jobs, finding a new job or taking on chores at a price your parents set.

Most of all remember how this has made you feel. As much trouble as you will be in with your parents, it's nothing to what you'd be in if you did this to someone else and the police became involved.

Answer 3

Come clean and confess right away. Waiting will only make it worse. Present your parents with a plan of how you will get a job, how much it will pay and how long it will take you to pay it off, with interest. Propose a punishment for yourself for stealing the card. That way they will know that you are truly sorry and know that you did something seriously wrong. Swear that you have learned your lesson and will never do anything like that again.

Then, keep your word. Get another job, pay back the debt with interest, work off your punishment without complaint, and be true to your word. This will have been a very painful but valuable lesson in life if you have learned never to steal anything from someone else.

Answer 4

You are going to have to tell your parents...and this is why. They are going to get the bill in the mail, and if they don't know it was you who charged up the card then they will suspect it was fraud. They will probably have to pay to have it investigated and when they find out it was you...well...they will be even more mad because they had to spend money for the fraud investigation. Also, if you take the bill out of the mail so they can't find it, they are going to start getting charged interest on the past due balance. I strongly suggest you tell them and hopefully they will respect you for your honesty. I'm sure you will have to pay it back, but let them pay it for now before they're charged interest and then do work around the house or something to earn some money to pay it off. You could also replace your old job to pay it off.
You should feel ashamed of your behavior, but don't hate yourself. Everybody makes mistakes, and the best thing you can do is own up to it. I know you're scared about your dad being mad...but you HAVE to tell him.
You think he "might" find out? I'm sorry, but he WILL find out. Do the right thing. It will be OK : )

Answer 5

He is going to see it all on his next card statement from the bank.

A better word would be suspicious. Your mother is wondering what all this stuff is being delivered to your house.

If you can return any of the stuff you should probably do it to reduce the amount you will owe.

Your Dad has several options , hopefully he can cover the amount due and wait for you to pay him back when you are working again .

At least you didnt say you borrowed his card .

You need to pick a time very soon , and tell him what you did, and apologise for it . He has every right to be mad at you for what you did.

Answer 6

The upside of all this is, if you feel bad about it, you know you did something wrong, and are unlikely to do it again, because you'll remember how badly you felt.

The other upside is, although this is wrong, and he'll be mad as heck, parents expect kids to have a problem once in awhile. In the scheme of it all, this is not the most expensive mistake to have made. He'll be more upset about the broken trust issues, I'm sure. That's something you'll just have to work on over time.

Here's what you aren't considering: the bill is going to show up any time. You may not be familiar with the billing schedule, and you may not know when your dad will open his bill. So, you need to assume it's coming up at any second.

The best thing (in my opinion) for you to do at this point is:
Go to your dad asap and tell him everything. You need to do this before he finds out for himself, because if you wait, he'll still think you were trying to pull one over on him (because you were.)

Also, you may have been fired from your job, but surely you've saved up something? I'd take whatever you have, and give it to him with a note that lists how much more you owe. Mow lawns or babysit or something every chance you get until it's paid off.

Also, nobody gets fired for no apparent reason. If you were in a job, they must have needed help. Unless the business closed, they still need help, but not you. You need to examine the possibilities and consider all the options, because you'll need to make sure that whatever the reason is, it doesn't crop up on your next job. One possibility: Did you mention this ticket problem at work? Using someone else's credit card is serious. They may be worried about your honesty at this point if they've heard about it through the grapevine. If you really don't know why they fired you, you should sincerely ask them so that if you have a problem, you can correct it in the future. I suspect that you have your own suspicions on why this happened though.

Next issue: yes, you did something pretty bad. You can't undo it, but you can fix it. So, you need to decide that you won't do things like this again, you need to fix this one, and next time you are faced with a moral dilemna, think about how you'll feel if you get caught, because eventually you will, if you make it a habit.
Once you have decided to fix this, and that you will be honest in all ways n the future, you can stop hating yourself. It's self destructive. In the long term, it will cause depression and anger at yourself. If you feel this way, you will be more inclined to repeat problems like this one, because you won't care about the outcome. So, avoid the problem by deciding to care about yourself and to not repeat anything like this.

Also, in general, and in the future, look at all the honest options. If you have no honest options available, then you have no options for whatever it is. Dishonest options are not options because although they look good on the surface, and maybe you have friends that get away with things sometimes, the reality is, the facts will come home to roost and then, it won't be worth it. I'd like a ferrari. If I stole one, I'd be able to drive it. But...grand theft auto is not an option. The first and primary option will always be, that you simply can't have what you want. That's how life is.

Good luck. This will work out, but trust me when I say, the sooner you get it off your chest, the better you will feel.
Furthermore, because you'll associate the concert with all this trouble, you probably won't enjoy it, no matter who they are. You might want to just sell the tickets. Heck, you might make a profit. (and if you do, you should give it all to your dad.)

Answer 7

Be grown up about it and tell your Dad before the bill comes in and he has to ask you about it. Then at least, you won't be a coward too. Tell him you know you made a real poor choice, that you WILL get a job this weekend and start paying the money back and that you are willing to take whatever punishment you have coming!!! Of course he's going to be mad and should be mad. What you did is considered stealing! You know you did wrong now stand up and take the consequences!!!

Answer 8

Well for one thing - return the items. He will get a credit card statement and it show the purchases, of course it will also show the returns. Maybe u should just sit them down and tell them what you did. Atleast now u know u shouldn't have ur own credit card. Really though return the items and just tell the truth. Explain how u got out of control and learned a lesson- which u have- right?

Answer 9

It is called a conscious and most people have them the only way to get rid of the guilt is tell your father what you did. He may get angry, but if you where able to steal the credit card number and charge to it then you should be strong enough to deal with the fallout.

I always tell my children a mistake is a mistake if it happens once if you repeat the behavior it is no longer a mistake but a choice. You made some very poor choices in your life and now you need to own up to them.

It also sounds to me that the guilt only came when you realized you where going to get caught.

Answer 10

You are going to be facing the music on this one. It will be better if you tell your father rather than have him find out on his own. Tell him what you have done and and how you feel. The most important thing is that you have a plan for how you are going to pay him back, with interest. Let him know your plan and get his approval. This will show your father that you own up to your mistakes and take responsibility for correcting them. Since you have lied to your Mother, you owe her an apology as well.

Answer 11

sit him down and explain to him what you did.. credit is definately something not to mess with. you need to tell him ASAP BUT do it in a mature manner. explain to him that you felt pressure cuz everyone else was doing it even though you know it was wrong, it wont happen again and as soon as you can come up with it youll pay him back in full or monthly payments. i dont know how old you are but it will be a good learning experience to pay it back-
And i dont know your dad so im assuming there will probably be consiquences . but at least he'll hopefully see that you understand you messed up and youre paying for it. Time will only make it better. but at least your guilt will be slightly lifted.
Definately tell him- youll be fine- Good luck!