Would you consider reusing fiance's first wedding ring?

Question

He picked it out, had it sized and paid for it. His ex had nothing to do with it and it wasn't a "set". We are getting married in September and he hasn't been able to find one that he likes. It won't match my ring but that doesn't really matter to me. I like white gold and he likes yellow gold. His "old" ring has white and yellow gold with three diamonds. It really is a nice ring but I'm not really sure how I will feel about him wearing it for "our" marriage. We live in a small town and run into his ex sometimes and I'm not sure how I would feel if she noticed that he was wearing the same ring. What are your opinions?

Please remember, SHE had absolutely nothing to do with picking the ring out.

It's his old wedding band not HERS that we thought about reusing. I got a hugh engagement ring presented to me at my surprise proposal on Christmas day. He even had the diamond upgraded to a flawless diamond just for me!!! He wants me to have the best.

Answer 1

We're the same as you - I like white gold and my man likes yellow gold. I know it's going to be inconvenient but I really do think you would regret using the ring from his last marriage. Even if it doesn't seem significant now, I think as time went on the significance would seem to grow and loom larger. I do think this is important. Get him to sell the ring or even have it melted down and made into a new ring that looks different. My partner's boss has just got engaged and he designed his fiancee's ring, chose the diamond and had it made for her. He says you get much more for your money that way.

Good luck to you both and I hope you have a beautiful wedding day in 6 months.

Answer 2

Who cares if she had something to do with picking it out or not? That ring was MEANT for another girl, it was purchased with the intention that SHE not YOU would wear it.

Insist on something else, if need be you go and point it out to him, but you deserve a ring that was bought with the intention that YOU wear it.

Hawk the other ring and use the money for something else.

OH My God, wait. I just reread, are you saying that he wants to use his OLD wedding ring from a previous relationship???? NO WAY. Thats even sicker than him using an engagement ring bought for someone else like I originally thought this question was about. Holy S'hit, you are crazy if you allow this. Get a backbone and send him to the jewelry store and tell him not to come back without a new ring or better yet, why dont you buy his wedding ring for him, it would be a nice surprise.

Answer 3

god hell no there is no way i would use it , that ring should of well been thrown away by now , who came up with the idea of using it if it was your partner id be having a good think before i marry him (maybe he still has feeling for the other girl ,something like that ).
my wedding ring is platinum with 5 diamonds in it but my husbands is gold with 5 diamonds the patterns on then are still the same why not try something like that .

Answer 4

If your fiancee wants to give you the best, you should want him to have the best too, and that means giving each other the gift of a brand new life together, with no recycled symbols of a former love, or the one who was there first, the one who had him before you. Your marriage deserves the best, and so you both have the responsibility to make it special and unique. Why hold on to the past, when you have such a wonderful future to look forward to together? Without a third party's influence. Good luck!

Answer 5

The ring is a symbol of love and trust come full circle, this ring, his old ring, needs to be gone, you need to find him another, he bought that ring for a marriage to another girl, inside that goes alot of emotion and heart and the if the other girl has seen the ring before, she will hold power over you in that aspect, no there is no other way, get rid of it before it destroys your happiness

Answer 6

I would ask him to look harder. I don't think I could separate the ex from it in my mind.

Was this an ex-wife or ex-fiance? If she had nothing to do with picking it out and was an ex-wife...I would not want him to wear it because it was a symbol of their marriage. I wouldn't even care if he had another ring made that looks like it, but I wouldn't want him to wear what was to symbolise their union. That was a ring to seal their vows.

If it was an ex-fiance and they never actually used the ring...I might be more okay with him wearing it, but I still think I would ask him to please consider something else or again having another ring made that has the same look he likes.

Answer 7

No, I would not re-use a ring, nor would I want my partner to do so. To me, it's not about a ring itself or how it looks - this ring is a *symbol* of our marriage. What kind of symbol would this be to use something that came from the past broken-up relationship? I would rather not have a ring at all.

Answer 8

What?.... like you aren't special enough to rate a new one??? Is the style of the ring and his preference more important to him than making you feel special and marking YOU and YOUR relationship as the most important thing in his life? Forget it, he doesn't deserve you!

Answer 9

No...it needs to be special to celebrate your new love. There is just too much emotion wrapped up in that old ring.

Answer 10

Personally, I know I couldnt do it - I just would have a hard enough problem with the fact that he was already married.. let alone having him wear something from his previous marriage.. Just think , when you look at it, what will you think of? You and your marriage? Or his ex and his previous marriage? I couldnt do it.. but if its not something that you think will bother you too bad, then have him keep the old one.