I'm at the end of my rope we have enough problems already then she butts in
2007-03-19 10:35:24 · 14 answers · asked by lisa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you have to take control. Speak to your husband tell him whats up tell HIM to speak to his mom. If that doesn't help tell the witch to butt out and make her visits on your terms, tell HIM not to share any info with mommy. If he cant face the old coot tell him to go live with her and come back when he grows up. Put her in her place(nursing home someday) you cant be pushed around with both your feet securely on the ground. If any of this doesn't work throw water on her and watch her melt like her sister in the "wizard of oz."
2007-03-19 10:45:15 · answer #1 · answered by Bruce B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say that the two of you (you and your husband) need to sit down and have a talk. Let him know what is going on with his mother and that you need space from her. You both need to establish your relationship without having an outside force coming in to make trouble worse for you. He needs to speak to his mother and set things straight for you or it will never change. Your m-in-law will most likely ignore anything you have to say about the matter as long as your husband lets it continue.
2007-03-19 13:43:42 · answer #2 · answered by hr4me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try something totally surprising! Don't get defensive...and Invite her in!!! Include her...
I know you just rolled your eyes...but check it out:
She has only been in a relationship with you for how long? With her son how long??
You guys have to learn how to communicate together...relate together.
Call her up...invite her to lunch. Then talk to her. Say something like:
I wanted to hang out with you because I was wondering how you think me and (husbands name) are doing so far! I value your input...
Although...I guess sometimes it's hard because you two have had this relationship forever, and I feel like I have to squeeze my way in...I don't want to feel that way, and I don't want that feeling to cause make me resent you at all...so I wanted to talk to you today, ask for your input, and see if there is anything you think I need to know about how to make these relationships work!!"
She will be floored. I know...because I did it!
Resist the stereotypical way of percieving and dealing with this! Take the "human" road. You will be amazed!!! And you will all reap the benefits! I promise!!!
2007-03-19 10:43:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know I'm going to be protective over my firstborn son. I've learned to accept my fate. It's not like I want to be that way, but I've fantasized about having a son for so long, I'm not sure if I'll be able to NOT be a little protective over him. I'm trying to imagine what you could do to impress me, if you were my son's wife, and all I can think of is ... share?
I know! Buy tickets to some game or concert or play or something that both she and your husband would enjoy. Don't buy tickets for you, too, just make it an occasion for him and his mom. When she knows you bought the tickets, she'll know that you're not trying to steal him from you. I'm sure she'll appreciate the sentiment.
Hope that helps.
2007-03-19 10:41:45 · answer #4 · answered by Amy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need help!!!!! Mother in laws can be stressful. Especially in the beginning. You need to tell your husband then sit down and talk to her. He isn't a baby. However, if he likes it and he is denying anything is wrong then you may want professional help.
2007-03-19 11:25:21 · answer #5 · answered by Alisha C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of your kids if you have any...if not get rid of them in the future. It's all the rave...
But seriously, woman to woman treat your man with respect and let him love his family who is part of his life. Marriage is no excuse to control people's relationships. You've become one...she's your mother also.
2007-03-20 02:01:37 · answer #6 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He doesn't love you as much as he loves his mom. He definately has put rank on you LOWER than her. I'm not trying to be mean here- I'm helping you come to reality of it and I think you understand exactly...you just don't want to believe it. Have him read Ephesians chapter 5-9. "...And a man shall LEAVE his mother and father and CLEAVE (like skin grapht...) the two shall become one." His mother is also being very unGodly.
2007-03-19 10:42:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're asking the wrong question. You should be asking "what do I do about a husband who won't let go of his mom"? It's his job to tell his mom to limit her involvement. If he can't do that, it's your job to decide how much you want to be with him.
2007-03-19 10:48:09 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move to a different state and change your names!
2007-03-19 10:38:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
have a meeting and let her know that she had him for 18 years and now he is yours - you appreciate her interest but but out (in a nice way) incidentally the problem is with your husband-not his mother.
2007-03-19 10:38:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋