My new bf got very jealous the other day when I mentioned an ex boyfriend. He said he hated to hear that I was with another guy, even though I was only hypothetically speaking. I told him I would never mention it again and I was sorry because I didn't think he'd react that way. Well the point IS... There is this girl that he used to try to be with, but she picked another guy over him. And now that he's with me, she's sort of jealous. In my mind it feels like she wanted him to wait for her and now that she hasn't she gives me bad looks and flirts with him. Well today I left him in the class room as I went to get something to eat. When I came back to be with him, he was with this other girl. It bothered me because it feels like he's being a hypocrit. He talks to her and has "I love____" (her name) on his folder because she wrote it. He tells me not trip, but it's hurting for some reason. What do I do? What do I say to him? I don't want to look stupid.
2007-03-19 10:18:21 · 13 answers · asked by Cieeeee <3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think we should break this problem down together. First, lets look at this guy. As a mature male adult he should know that you are human, and it is a possibility that you have been or going to be with other men at some point in your life. This does not make you inhuman. Second, lets look at this other girl. This other girl just loved the fact that he was waiting around for her. I think you are one hundred percent on the dot with that. I think it kills her that he isn't there anymore, and with that is now going to disrespect your territory, and take him out from under you. She is however, only going to do that just long enough to prove to you that she is capable, then she will toss him away. He in turn, will more than likely come crawling back to you . It is up to you if you want to feel like you are second best to him. I don't know you ,but I can say every woman deserves to be one hundred percent happy, and never be second best to any other. He seems to like it, so it is ultimatily up to you friend. Good luck
2007-03-19 10:25:34 · answer #1 · answered by EternalBlueMemory 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he told you not to talk about other guys (past or present) then you have the right to tell him the same thing. If he feels that you're crossing the line as most guys will, then your obligated to YOURSELF to either put your foot down and says it an equal relationship, or get out of it. It's not worth the drama every day of knowing that he wont listen to you, and meet you in the middle, but yet you have to do what he says. It's a two way street m'dear, not just a one.
Is it worth the feelings everyday that you'll feel knowing that maybe JUST maybe he's using you as the bait to get this girl?
Jealousy is a very dangerous but natural feeling, and the last thing you need right now is that, EVEN if he's JUST talking with her. You have so much other things you need to worry about.... like what outfit you should wear tomorrow...
Good luck, and don't let a GUY bring you to a lower level! You're better then that!!!!
2007-03-19 10:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to look in the mirror. While everyone gets flirted with at times, and yes,its nice-appropriate reaction is the order of the day if you are dating someone. If he doesn't know who he wants to be with, well, I wouldn't want him. Also his reaction to you was insecure. One shouldn't really talk about ex-s but also note the fact that they are-ex! If you wanted to be with your old boyfriennd-you would be. I'd tell him to take a break and decide if he wants to trust you enough to be relaxed and also to respect you enough when you are dating to act correctly. He doesn't sound like he's thinking with his cranium....YOU need to not worry about the cheap other woman. Have your say, spell it out-tell him you care,but also tell him the rules. Then if it all blows up-well,you don't want the stress anyway-not worth it. OR he'll wise-up!
2007-03-19 10:26:10 · answer #3 · answered by ARTmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok one thing, ur not looking stupid. Ur just defending and trying 2 keep him not to break up w/ u. Talk 2 him straight out. If he starts saying don't be tripping, tell him,"Ur telling me not 2 trip? How can I not be when ur flirting w/ other grls while Im not around? It hurts me 2 c that." Start getting deep when u talk becuz he's going 2 c what he's doing is affecting u.
2007-03-19 10:23:08 · answer #4 · answered by ღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ugh no you should be mad , he is being a hypocrit telling you not to mention your ex mane & then this other girl is writing I love you on his folder! Id be fuming too . I think he maybe was trying to get even to see if you get jealous too .
2007-03-19 10:22:30 · answer #5 · answered by mommaknowsbest 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him turn about is fair play. Truthfully, I couldn't be with a guy if I was second guessing myself over every word and action. Jealousy is not love. It is not romantic to be around. Overpossessiveness is scary.
2007-03-19 10:23:38 · answer #6 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about your other boyfriends, and when he flips out, casually remind him that maybe that's how you feel when he talks to that other broad.
Nothing better to prove a point than put someone in your shoes.
2007-03-19 10:49:17 · answer #7 · answered by Alaina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him u don't like that he has that on his folder & tell him 2 erase it or scribble it out! if he lets her do that it only means he kinda likes her. if u r like me then u would give her a mean look back & kinda show up the next day in a shirt & pants that will drive him mad, either that or kinda ignore him until he asks u wats wrong & then tell him wat your feeling.
2007-03-19 10:24:19 · answer #8 · answered by moon_stars_fury 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him and find someone with more self esteem. i had an ex that was super jealous yet it was "ok" for him to do things he yelled at me for.
that is a sign of emotional abuse. move onto someone better.
2007-03-19 10:22:19 · answer #9 · answered by Bex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jsut tell him it bothers you just as much as your ex botherd him
2007-03-19 10:22:26 · answer #10 · answered by cutie.sweetie.ellie. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋