Men - Women relationships?

Question

My current opinion is that most women contradict themselves when they say that they are looking for a good guy, who listens to them, is considerate of their feelings and shares his feelings; when they find a guy like that they usually don't pay attention to him because they thing he is boring. Usually women go after the more intense guys with apparent faults and big egos, although they know that guy is wrong for them. Your thoughts

Answer 1

Well that might be true for most women...but not me I know what I want in a man...and when I find him I won't let him go.

Answer 2

We do want a man that litsen's and all those other characteristics that you just mentioned. The problem comes when the guy goes overboard or the worst, does it too soon into the relationship. I'm a female who likes all those characteristics but i have learned that when the guy shares his feelings too soon into the relationship it becomes a turn off. Reason being 1. If he does that too soon into the relationship it doesnt make me feel special because i'm wondering whether he does that with every woman he knows for two months. 2. He come's off as somewhat imature and a wimp. If he does it later in the relationship it's okay as long as he's not whining all the time, if he's whinning as oppose to sharing the problem with me, the both of us identifying a solution and him implementing the solution then i just feel like i'm dating a cry baby, extremely attention seeking man or better yet another woman.

If the characteristics you described above are in you. Please dont change them at all, you are a lucky guy and if let them show at the appropriate time they will all work in your benefit. The trick is dont begin to share all your feelings too early into the relationship, be yourself but let out yourself a little at a time. Remember too much of anything is poisonous and too little might chase the girl away making her think you really dont care too much for her. Give it a few months atleast six in my opinion. By then you can kind off tell if the woman is into you and wants to know more about you.

Answer 3

You asked a serious question but I cannot help but laugh and add that you ain't seen nothing yet. Wait till you get to pillow talk then you'll see just how contradictory women can be. But ease up on the harsh assessment cause when you find Mrs. Right you'll quickly forget about those who shunned you because you were for them Mister Wrong.

Answer 4

I agree with you. For the most part because i have done that before. Its just a matter of having a good thing with a guy and then screwing it up for something that wasn't worth it. When you leave him then you realize what a good thing you had. But by then it too late. I'm sorry if that's happened to you if its happened to you.

Answer 5

Hi

The same applies to men they all say they are looking for a good woman but when they find one they mess all over her .

What is the contradiction ? It goes both ways . Yes , I am looking for a good guy but I also know that anyone worth having is going to take time to find .

On with the search ............................

Answer 6

I think women have given up the notion of having a nice, sweet, sensitive guy. Besides that kind of guy probably has a boyfriend already! LMFAO

Answer 7

u cant find a funny sensitive active guy and if u do he will cheet

Answer 8

Ok. That is one way to look at it. Here's another.

Women want to believe the man they are with chose them above all other men they could have chose.

They are attracted to guys who appear as though they don't care whether the woman likes them or not.

Here's the doubled edged sword. Woman mistake this for confidence.

These guys don't have any respect for women, don't care if a woman likes him or not, becuase they don't love anyone but themselves.

And they guys who do have respect who do care about women, they can come off as needy, as desperate. And desperate people latch on to whomever crosses their path.

Here's my dating advice, how to look at dating and how to approach dating so that you are not desperate or perceived as desperate.

1) Stop worrying about being single. That is killing your confidence. Enjoy being single. You can go where you want, when you want. Don't have to compromise... Play xbox 'till 2 in the morning. Hang out with the guys...

2) Ask women to go on dates but your only goal is to make friends. If it goes further, that's great. At least you started as friends. The more women friends you make, the more confident you will be with women.

3) Follow these dating rules.

a. First date is a short one. Lunch. That's it. Movies and a dinner on a first date turn into a never ending hell for someone. If your goal is to make a friend then keep it short. She’s going to hate you if you put her through a date from hell. Remember, the more women you have as friends, the more likely you are going to be confident around woman and who knows, maybe you’re not right for her but she's got friends... I've been on blind dates set up by women I went on a date with...

b. Get her to talk about herself. If she wants to hear your life story, she'll ask. Here's one of my favorites. "If you won a 10 million dollar lottery, what would you do?" If she gives you a bunch of self centered materialistic answers, don't ask her on a second date... You can find out a lot about someone by their answer to this. Stay away from intimate questions, past boy friends... Politics, work, books she's read are ok. (politics & religion are two good ways to find out is someone is compatible with you. I went on a date with a woman I thought I knew pretty well. Thought she was level headed... Then she took a hard right turn and left me in the dust. Knew right then and there we weren’t compatible) the deal is, YOU are trying to find out if you want to ask HER out again. You are not trying to make her your girlfriend.

c. Second date. (and don't be hurt if you don’t get a second date. Be sure to leave her a way to say "no" without hurting your feelings. Don't play hurt puppy if she says no.) Can last a little longer. Dinner. Not romantic. Not expensive. You are not trying to buy her. Still keep it light. You can ask some family questions but don't dig too deep. She'll probably have more questions for you. Answer truthfully. Again, don't make this a big date deal.

d. Third date. (I took a lot of women on 1st dates. Less than a third made it to second dates. Only a handful made it to 3rd dates. Only two did I have committed relationships with. Last one I married) Best third date... The zoo. It is not romantic. That makes it neutral ground. Takes about 2 to 3 hours to walk around and see all the animals. Gives you both some time to spend with each other. Depending on how everything is going, you both might discuss intimate details of past relationships and family issues. And might not. Take it easy. You might be very attracted to someone the first time you see them, but it takes time to build a relationship...

If she's goes on a 3rd date, it means that she's interested in seeing where this will lead. Doesn't mean she loves you with all her heart yet... Doesn't mean she's ready to get intimate.

When to kiss? When to get physical. For all people it is different. If you haven't held hands, you shouldn't expect a kiss. If a woman was ready to do anything more than hold hands on the 3rd date, I dropped her. If she was throwing herself at me I made tracks. Desperate people latch onto the 1st thing that comes their way. I wanted to date women who were willing to analyze me as a right choice & ensure the relationship would last. I figured if a woman was ready to hop into the sack with me before she knew me, then she was willing to do that with someone else too. And in this day and age of STDs that can kill you, you have to remember, you're having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with...

Remember, a nice guy doesn't force a woman to like him. Doesn't force her to get physical.
Doesn't force her to be a ***** to get rid of him.

Don't be desperate. Women don't want desperate men. They want confident men. They want to believe you chose them over all other women that you could have had... That is why they date guys who treat them poorly. They mistake indifference for confidence...

Start making friends. Don't feel hurt if you get rejected. You can only get hurt if you set your expectations too high.

I spend years and years waiting for someone to save me. Someone to fix me. I was extremly shy with women and so afraid of rejection. I figured out no one wants to work that hard. Had to fix myself. Said screw it, and changed my expectations to making friends. In one year I asked out more women than I did in ten years. I stopped worrying about be rejected & grew confident that I would find a good woman. Had one really bad relationship, one that was mostly good and I learned a lot about what I really wanted, third one was magic.

Took three years of dating to find the woman I wanted to marry.

Been married 10 years.

Good luck out there. Take your time and don't be afraid to ask women out.

A~