Slept with a man on the first date, how do I recover?

Question

I met the perfect guy for me one week before I was leaving the state to finish grad school. I was prepared to go our seperate ways but he asked me out to dinner before I left. The night was so perfect I made moves because I wanted to sleep with him. He was gorgeous and I just went with it. He expressed he could be with any woman and wanted to wait because he felt I was special. I eventually got my way but after he never called me again (or so I thought).
I went home to visit several months later and out of the blue he called me. He said the whole evening made him uncomfortable but he still thinks about me often. We speak occassionally via phone and email. He is very affectionate and shows a lot of interest. I am moving back home now that school is over and we will be hanging out. Sometimes I hear concern in his voice that I slept with him. How do I recover? Will he always think of me as the girl who sleeps with men on the 1st date?

Answer 1

In any case you need to go after him. He's not coming to you. He knows you have it in you to go after him and maybe he likes that. He could be waiting for you right now.

You should bring up the subject you guys already did the deed. Say something that makes him feel like it was just him. And perhaps you just really wanted to do it before you were going to be gone.

If it goes unspoken you wont really make any progress and he'll feel uncomfortable about it forever.

Answer 2

Maybe the less said on this subject the better. I wonder why it made him so uncomfortable, I'd focus on that question instead of trying to convince him that you were anything but a liberated woman who knows what she wants. He seems rather cocky though....as he did tell you that he could 'get any girl he wants.' Chances are good that he would have not called you again if you'd done things differently. He seems unsure as to what he wants, but if you like the guy proceed. But don't focus on trying to recover. If he hadn't enjoyed himself, then he wouldn't be still trying to pursue you. Challenge him instead if he gets on the subject, by asking him if that was the first time he'd gone 'all the way'. Tell him that you still respected him the next day, and that he was really hot. The best defense is a good offense anyway. Good Luck

Answer 3

You know some people can be so judgemental of others. I personally would not have slept with this guy on the 1st date especially if he really didn't want to begin with. It would make any person think that you are easy and just in it for the sex. You felt like it was what you both wanted unfortunatly you made a mistake and none of us here on earth is perfect. We all make mistakes. If you have asked God to forgive you then, you have to forgive yourself and move on. I wouldn't suggest that you try having sex with him again anytime soon unless he is comfortable with it and approaches you 1st. Just let it go and let God cause there isn't anything else that you really can do except stop beating yourself up about it. God Bless

Answer 4

If he is an idiot, he would have ill feelings about what happened. In my personal experience, when/if I sleep with a women on the first date, I am more flattered if nothing else. For instance, as a women you come in contact with tons of men all day that want to be intimate with you and out of those men you chose him. That is how I look at it!

As an adult we make adult decisions and last thing you need to do is feel guilty. If he is uncomfortable then he needs to "Get Over It and Himself." If someone can show me the correct timetable on when an adult couple can or should be intimate, then maybe I will change my position. And no, the "you need to be married first" crap doesn't sway me either. It was conceptual and adult .

Answer 5

Well , the first question would be ARE you a girl who sleeps with men on the first date, this situation aside? If not, then I think your best bet would be to ask how he feels about it and explain it to him the same way you explained it to us here. Apologize for making him feel uncomfortable and maybe suggest backtracking and starting over a bit more slowly.

Answer 6

That is pretty much it, he thinks you will sleep with just any guy. From your actions, that would be true too.

Clearly he wants someone special, good for him, and he knows from what you did you are not it. He is showing you interest because he knows you will put out at the drop of a hat. He will use that and when he finds someone special, he will drop you like a used....

Answer 7

Explain to him that you are not that kind of girl but that you felt an attraction to him and your sorry if you let it take over and that your sorry that you made him uncomfortable and that you hope you can put it behind you and move on.

Answer 8

I did that once. We got married 2 years later, and on our last anniversary we celebrated #26. Just let him know that you were so fascinated by him, and you were leaving town and were afraid you would never see him again that you really couldn't help yourself. He should be flattered.

Answer 9

its going to take a while to recover from your first date faux pas but if you're going to try again with him assure him that you lost control of your hormones and your senses. tell him that you would like to spend time with him with out going any further than kissing and cuddling....set a time limit 3 months 6 months. however i have to take issue you with his not taking better control of the situation. he can't lay all the fault on you he gave in as much as you did...so keep that in mind while you're trying to recover.

Answer 10

yea i think u rushed into things pretty fast and he probably think of u as a girl the one night stand ones. Well u guys still see eachother and well... yea