My boyfriend and I broke up 2 days ago.
He wants me to live with his parents and I dont want to.
He's their only son and I understand that,I mean I know he has the responsibility of taking care of them and all.
But I didn't ask him to neglect his parents,I love them just as much,it's just that I always imagined my husband and myself living in independancy with our kids,without anyone butting in.
So now he broke up with me,instead of finding a common ground that pleases both of us..I'm so sad...Is it a crime that I want to be independent??Am I to blame?
I'm not asking for a freaking castle,I'd live in a tent if that's what it takes,but living with his parents is just out of the question or even mine for that matter!
2007-03-19 09:29:09 · 8 answers · asked by me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi
It's not your fault because you were willing to work things out and I am sure with a little brain storming a solution would have been found as far as your living situation .
I don't blame you for not wanting to live with anyone other than the 2 of you . Please don't be sad over this because he gave up on you to fast and soon he will realize the mistake that he made .
Good Luck
C
2007-03-19 09:41:40 · answer #1 · answered by Constance M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one hundred percent right. First of all, how old are his parents? If they are old enough where he needs to take care of them, then you gotta look into a nursing home or something. They are more work than children. Somehow I don't think that is the case here though. I think the parents are able enough, and your guy is a little bit afraid to get out on his own, and or is a complete mama's boy. No offense intended.
Best you know this now before something crazy like an engagement happened.
2007-03-19 16:36:17 · answer #2 · answered by Morty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget assigning fault...what will that help? As you say moving in with his or even your parents is out of the question and he feels it's necessary at this time....then I don't see how the 2 of you could have found a common ground. Besides it has only been 2 days. Wait awhile and see what develops.
2007-03-19 16:45:51 · answer #3 · answered by iraq51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's no one's fault. This appears to be an impasse for you two -- sometimes there are things that are simply not negotiable that make two people incompatible. Maybe it's religion; maybe it's children; maybe it's the wife working; in this case, it's how to care for your boyfriend's parents. It sounds like he wants (or is required) to care for them himself, regardless. It sounds like you are unwilling to live with your spouse's extended family.
Sadly, it's better that this come up now than after you get married or have a child together -- you may have been miserable or might have shattered up a family over this issue.
It's sad, but a part of relationships, I think.
2007-03-19 16:35:12 · answer #4 · answered by Perdendosi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I met a guy like this once...
They suffer from a disease called MAMITIS... which means they still have an invisible umbilical cord attached to their parents...
Same thing happened to me 7 years ago, he didn't want to discuss other alternatives and we broke up. When we broke up I told him that with time he would learn that he was not going to be able to establish himself and have a family in those terms. It wasn't like they were disabled either (that would be a whole other story).
Anyways, 4 years later he came back to me to apologize for being such a jerk. He had realized he was unable to sustain a relationship with anyone in those 4 years because of the same issue.
I told him, thanks for the apology but there was no way we were going to get back together. Even thought I was single at the time, I would never be able to trust him again.
You are right (if they are not disable - of course).
Stand your ground!!!!! Let him learn his lesson.
Good Luck.
2007-03-19 16:51:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't stress yourself over it! You are not to blame at all for this, he needs to realize that while family is important, there are certain boundaries that have to be set in a relationship and if you would have moved in there, it would have caused more issues between you!
Relax and know that everything happens for a reason, you just might not reap the rewards immediately!
2007-03-19 16:39:26 · answer #6 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not your fault. You two need to talk it over and find a common ground. Perhaps, not in the same house, but close by.
2007-03-19 16:33:34 · answer #7 · answered by Kimora Miranda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, your right. cause you guys should have gotten in your own place, and he can till see his family, it sounds more of his fault
2007-03-19 16:33:14 · answer #8 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋