Stay at home moms- ways to keep sane?

Question

I am a 24 year old stay at home mom of three. (ages 4, 2, and 1) I only really get out for church and the grocery store. What can I do when the weather is bad to keep the kids and I from going nuts?!

Also, what can I do for "me time"? I don't want to go out and drink, and don't have money to do much of anything.

Please help- I am going to go crazy before I hit 25!

Answer 1

Time alone doesn't have to be time out of the house alone. When my first three or four children were really small, I was a SAHM and didn't really believe in leaving the kids to "get away". That's changed a bit after my 5th & 6th children were born, but back then I just didn't feel the need to get out much. Nothing wrong with moms who *do* feel that need (believe me, I do *now*!); we all have different patience and tolerance levels, and different ways of recharging our batteries.

Some things I used to do (and still do) to de-stress and recharge:

A hot bath at the end of a long day; when you have an infant or toddler, expect interruptions and maybe even a guest in the tub! But the hot soak will still do you good even if you can't be alone.

Involving the child(ren) in activities that have to be done, and make them fun; toddlers are great at helping throw clothes into the dryer, or standing on a stool/chair at the kitchen sink splashing harmlessly in dishsoap suds while mom loads the dishwasher, wiping off cupboard doors and drawers with a damp cloth, etc.

Indoor activities-- long bubble baths, "mixing" invisible ingredients in real kitchen bowls with real utensils, actually cooking together (toddlers and older), playing games on the computer from favorite TV shows/characters (disney.com, nickjr.com, etc.), alternating playing with toys to doing a craft.

One thing that I found really helps during the boring winter months with my little ones (my youngest are 5 and almost 3), is to have a basic routine that we follow almost every day. It's quite flexible, but they know what to expect out of their day most of the time. Up around 8:30-9 and breakfast, cartoons for a little while after that, then computer time. Morning snack, then an activity (craft or game). Clean up, then lunch. Cartoons or a DVD after lunch. Then the older kids come home from school, and it's snack time again. After that it's quiet time for the little ones while homework gets done. Sometimes they nap, other times they play quietly up in their room. But for the most part, they know how their day is going to play out, and it's comforting to know what comes next in the routine. It's still flexible enough, though, that I'm not confined to following the clock every minute of the day, and we change things up enough that they aren't set in any particular activities or ways of doing things.

I hope this can help you somehow! I could probably write a book on how I survived SAHMom-dom all these years, but Y/A doesn't offer enough space for that... ;)

Best of luck!

Answer 2

I am the stay at home mom of two. My oldest is soon to be 14 and terminally ill so she is home w me every day all day, my second child is 10 months old both are a blessing to me. The only time I get out of the house is to the grocery store dr's appointments or walmart {yeah some life I live huh}. But I am happy. Yeah I wish sometimes I could have me time but I know that being here for my kids is the most important thing I can be doing. What keeps me sane and this will sound cheesy Im sure but the smiles on their faces and knowing that I am raising decent human beings. I do not drink so I will not suggest that to you. In Nov of 2005 I moved to North Dakota where it is colder more often then it is warm. And to my husbands dismay I redocorate ALOT but we have the funds for that. And he and I play games together. Cards, dominoes, and so forth. If you want to do something just for yourself it doesnt hurt to window shop if you can go to the store and just look around or walk through the mall and look. If you cant get out of the house cross word puzzles and online games saved my sanity when I was on bedrest w my son for 11 weeks

Answer 3

I am a stay at home mom going on 4 years now. My kids are 14, 4 and 2. The 14 year old is gone most days with school but the 2 little ones are home all day. Most days I spend cleaning and doing laundry. If I'm not doing something it drives me nuts. On nice days we go out in the backyard but on crappy days we watch the educational cartoons that they like and sometimes a movie for a nice break. We have "school" time where I work with them on little things that they can grasp and we play games. I make sure that they take naps at the same time. That one was a feat and took awhile to get it working but when they both lay down I get 2 hours of ME time. I can watch a movie, take a bath, do my shool work, whatever. They also go to bed pretty early, around 7, so I get from then until about 10 or 11 as quiet time. Of course they are both up at 6:30 in the morning so I don't get a lot of sleep but I do get a lot of quiet time.

It takes a long time to get used to it. There are a lot of times that I feel "cut off" from the world but when I get that way I load them up and go drive around a local lake and grab some chicken nuggets for them. Try to be creative, don't forget that you are a person too. I started going back to school to remind me that I was still a person and not just a mom. My financial aid pays for it all and all of my classes are online so I can still be here for them.

Look around at your local community center and see if they have any summer classes. There are A LOT of SAHM message groups on Yahoo! and they have aactivities all the time and probably in or near your area.

Answer 4

I am a stay at home mom of two kids ages 3 and 1. I have other friends who are also stay at home moms and we try to meet at the park or if it is raining we rotate going to each other homes, that away the kids have friends to play with and I get a friend to chat to. When my kids nap everyday is my me time. I get on the Internet sometimes or just read a book while they are sleeping instead of trying to catch up on house work, cause if you don't get a little me time everyday, you will go nuts. Or sometimes on the weekends my hubby stays home and me and my friends catch a movie or something.

Answer 5

What about finding a job at a clothing store or conveneience store for a couple of shifts a week? Being in a store you can see lots of people, and maybe make friends with some co-workers. Maybe 8-16 hours a week......like a couple of short or full 8 hour shifts. I'm sure there are places that can work around your hubby's work schedule. I have a couple of friends that are stay at home moms and they did this and they are so grate ful that they did!! Plus the little bit of extra money covers their gas expense to get to and from plus a little bit to spoil the little ones with.

Answer 6

I am a stay home mommy with 3,2 and 1 yr. olds. The only thing that keeps us sane is a schedule. If we stick to our routine, we're ok. I don't get out much either, but i have my 3 yr. old in nursury school, that's a big help, i found a toddler program($35) that the other 2 are in. We will bake together, or do easy crafts, once a day out comes a disney movie and i can sit and catch my breath!

Answer 7

There is no "sane" with kids. I am 23 with 3 kids(5, 3 and 1) and I hardly ever get ME TIME. I have a great group of friends that I talk to everyday that keep me going. I also have a supportive husband who agrees with me when I say I need to leave for a while. If you need a chat friend, try to find me!I'm always willing to listen, and it only makes sense cuz were in the same boat.

Answer 8

The only way I can get real "me" time is to wait until my husband is home and the boys are sleeping, then call a single friend and go out for a cup of coffee. Or even take her to Target or WalMart with me. While the kids are home, I just try to get them to nap at the same time so I can either nap, too or do something else indulgent like take a shower, watch a rated R movie, or surf the net ;)

Answer 9

the ME time thing - see if your area has a Mom's club - a lot of times it just a get together thing where you craft, hang and have coffee. you know - look in the local weekly papers like the pennysaver if you have that ... or call the Y they may know of some. also see if the Y in your area has a sliding fee scale for membership - they have great classes and swimming that can get you out of the house.
also look on craigslist.com for maybe some local clubs to take part in.

Also if you have a local Y that you can get into - that is somewhere you can take the kids too.

Hope this helps some.. this is the YMCA Page re: financial assistance with membership

http://www.ymca.net/about_the_ymca/

Answer 10

I hear you! I look forward to those nice days when we can get out of the house and play in the yard or go for a walk...on rainy days like today, I find myself doing extra cleaning, cooking or Y! Answers to keep sane....that's the worst part about being a S@H Mom, otherwise the job is pretty perfect, I think!