Do I should ask my boyfriend to marry me? How? what about the ring issue?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend 6 years (next april our anniversary) living with him 5, and he already said to me he does want to get married but want to wait because our financial state is not so good, he´s 28 and I 27, I think why wait? in our job field (both marine biologist) your´e not economically "ready" till 40! I don´t wan´t an expensive wedding in fact I believe more in spending in other kind of stuff (like a little house), I´m thinking in propose to him next month (he´s comming home after 2 months from whale watching) and is our special date? how the hek do I do this? what about the ring? should I buy one? get down on my knees?

I DO REALIZE THE LACK OF FINANCIAL STABILITY, BUT ALSO KNOW THAT AS A COUPPLE WE CAN MAKE IT WORK! we ´ve doing so for the last 2 years.

besides, he already said WE ARE GETTING married! :)

Answer 1

If you're sure that his only reason for not wanting marriage right now is financial, then why not propose yourself?

Instead of doing it the traditional way, why not go in reverse? Buy the wedding rings now (the plain bands in my culture - I don't know if it's the same in yours) and exchange them at the engagement time, then let him know you'd like a traditional diamond (or whatever it is you want) for the wedding day itself. You don't have to follow tradition - do something that's private and romantic for both of you and offer a ring if you feel it's important.

Answer 2

He's worried about money but you aren't? Do you have a stash he doesn't know about?? You two need to sit down and come to some agreements about money - it is the #1 reason couples break up - money issues. If you go forcing the issue of marriage, you might be very sorry you did. Seriously, get together with him and make a plan - agree on the money issue and work to make it no longer an issue for him - THEN, once money no longer is the hold up to marraige, THEN you two can discuss marriage again.

Answer 3

i think you should go for it!! it sounds like ure happy and u obviously have been together long enough and even better you know u can live with eachother. financial stability of course IS important but get engaged now and then think about when you can get married. Who says you have to get engaged and directly after marry? plus it will be more of a reality once ure engaged and will motivate u two to save!! so i say GO FOR IT. i would take him on a nice date and then give him something else like a nice watch or something as an engagement ring...present it the same way as an engagement ring BUT make ti a special other gift since the real ring should only be given when you get married!! after 6 years dont fear anything!! GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATS!

Answer 4

I would get him a band to wear. It doesn't have to be gold or anything. My fiancee's wedding band is stainless steel from limoges. It was about $40. I had it engraved to say "My Friend, My Husband" and he loves it.

We aren't going on our honeymoon, so for our wedding night, I'm planning something special that you could probably adapt for your proposal.

I'm putting together a basket of hawaiian things (because he wants to go to hawaii), along with chocolates, wine, ect. I'm also buying a "paint your own piggy bank kit" from oriental trading: http://www.orientaltrading.com/application?origin=page.jsp&namespace=browse&event=link.itemDetails&categoryId=342679&bp=8110&sku=71%2f24&cm_mmc=Trafficleader-_-Datafeed-_-Datafeed-_-Datafeed

We'll paint the bank together and use it to save money for our honeymoon.

In your case, you could have a romantic evening and give him the bank. Inside, place notes stating why you love him. When he reaches the last note, pull out the ring and propose. Tell him that if he accepts, you'll paint the bank together and it will symbolize your commitment to become financially stable while you're married.

Answer 5

Speaking honestly, I think you need to move on from him. If you have been together for 6 years and living with him for 5, he isnt going to marry you. Why should he, you are already his wife in every aspect but the legal one. My sister lived with a man for 9 years. 9YEARS. He kept saying that he really did want to get married to her but there was always something that came up preventing the marriage from happening. She finally wised up and moved on and found out that three months later he had actually married another girl He wanted to get married, he just didnt want to marry my sister. Your story sounds strangely familiar.

Honestly, most marriages happen within at the most 4 years, you have waited 6 (and probably not by your choice), if he hasnt married you yet he isnt going to marry you.

Its time to start looking for your own place and get out of the sistuation. And who knows, maybe it will be a wake-up call that he really does want to be with you, but sitting stagnant as you have been, you proposing to him isnt going to motivate him to go through with it. Even if he says yes, I would bet he will be wanting a long engagement which would only prolong the situation you are in now.

Answer 6

I've been with my man for 9 years he just asked me last year. Dont ruises yourself into getting married theres a lot to it and if hes not asking HES NOT READY. You could end up scarying him away. So just be pashten, what and maybe ask him about what he THINKS of getting married SOMEDAY. That way your not scaring him and you can find out where he is on getting married.

Answer 7

set up a nice dinner, sure buy a nice ring, nothing fancy. you can buy 2, matching his and her sterling rings that will do the job for now and upgrade later. the ring - representing the unbroken circle is the purpose of the ring - which represents you undying love for one another.

No, do not do the knee thing -- Just pick a moment at dinner, grab his hand, tell him how you feel about him and then pop the question.

I say go for it --

Answer 8

I don't think any woman should ask a man to marry her. He is suppose to be the head of your house and want to honor you by making you his wife. Maybe he enjoys being with you and isn't that into you to marry you. I can say for most men they say "she's the one" and want to scoop you up right away. Now that you are living together and do everything as married....what really do he have left to look forward to? You both need to re-evalute the relationship. I just know (from experience of hanging with guys) If you want marriage more than him....it won't last.

Answer 9

I would not "propose" if I were you. Just talk to him, tell him that you don't want an expensive ceremony, but just want to be legally married, and ask him to help you pick a date. You don't have to get all dramatic or get a ring... Just talk to him, and set a date together.

Answer 10

aquamarine would be a neat choice for a stone, not exactly the "Ritz", but you're hinting at a symbolic wedding with a bit of sparkle. i don't know about the down on your knees but an intimate dinner in a cozy corner would be nice with dancing on the side.
ask, the time will come without any major plans, just be yourself.

the ring should be foryour finger with another just like it for him for later.