Am I crazy to want 3 children?

Question

I have a 10 month old baby girl and my husband and I would like to start trying to have another baby this summer. Several women I've talked to are so negative about having more children that it makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I am a professional, but I am only working part-time right now so I can spend lots of time with my baby. Everyone in my profession has either no kids or one. Family is extremely important to me and I will never let my career come before it. I'm just tired of our career/money driven society that can't just relax and enjoy life. I'm curious what other women think. Is it really that terrible having 2 kids two years apart? Am I crazy for wanting more???

Answer 1

No. You are not crazy.

That said, there are some fair arguments against having lots of kids. The fact is that we live in a world with finite space and finite resources. Countries like India and China are already suffering from severe overpopulation, and the United States will be next if we do not control our population soon. It is a real threat.

BUT... the real problem is not professionals having three kids. It is people without the resources to take care of their children having 3, 5, or even 10 children. People should NOT be having tons of kids if they are not prepared to take care o them properly within their own means. Your third kid is not going to make any real impact on the populations situation, so long as both you and your husband are able to provide for that child so that the rest of us tax payers don't have to.

You also nailed the other issue right on the head. We do, indeed, live in a career/money driven society! And it is a career/money driven society full of opinionated people with security and esteem issues. The fact is that we all tend to be really opinionated, and many of us voice our opinions, even though our situations are not always relevant. The fact of the matter is that many people have different values than you do. Some people look down on mothers and child-rearing. Some people will look down on you because you are a housewife, even if only part time.

You are also correct that it is not right. What is it to them if you have three kids? What is it to anyone, so long as you can take care of them? If you raise them right, your kids will have something that those other women's kids will never have: permanent friendship. They will learn social skills from a young age that many only-children (though not all) never learn. The fact is that many of these professionals that are looking down on you are only doing it because they are jealous. It makes them feel better about themselves and their lives' problems to affirm to their esteems that you are somehow inferior or less well off.

I'll tell you one other thing. I have four sisters. They are my closest friends and I love them all. Perhaps my parents should not have had so many kids. They could barely afford it. But would I trade my youngest sister for extra goodies when I was a kid? Not on your life. I feel sorry for kids who have no siblings. I've known a few, and they all missed out.

Answer 2

I have 3 kids and there is 17 months between each of their births. I am happy that they are all here! I do get tired and the house gets a little crazy sometimes, but I look at it like this:

I cannot imagine myself being a parent of an 8 year old. But I know that as my children grow I will grow with them. When they are 8 I will be reasy to be a parent of an 8 year old.

If you and your husband can manage financially, then I would say go for it! Kids are the greatest blessing in the world. Just make sure that it's what you both want. Because if you don't have the support of him, it will be 10 times harder on you. Also, once you have kids you can't give them back. Take responsibility for each action.

I hope you can be happy with whatever you decide.

Answer 3

I don't think you're crazy at all. I had my first two children 20 months apart and my third 3 and a half years later. My children and I are all very happy with the way that our family has been created, and that's what is important. I understand that a lot of people are more interested in working and making a lot of money. It's a choice that each person has to make on their own. If you would like to have several children, go for it!! I always think of it as you're investing your time into something so much more fulfilling by having children rather than concentrating entirely on business. In 18 years you'll have wonderful adults that you raised and loved, but in a job will your work be remembered for that long?

Answer 4

If you're crazy then I must be insane. Notice my profile name I already have 5 and am pregnant with #6. They are 16, 13 1/2, 11, 9 1/2, 12 months, and due in September. It take special people like us to be able to have multiple children and love them all so very much that we see how great it is to have a bunch always around. I wouldn't have my life any other way. I used to work outside the house and after my 9 year old went into school I went back out into the working world - I was a new business coordinator for a major insurance company. After the birth of our most recent child (just 1 year old) I decided to stay home again and have another so she wouldn't have no close siblings - that and we wanted to try for another boy - the 2 oldest are boys the other 3 are girls - it looks like we didn't get the boy this time - but nothing for sure yet..

ANYWAY have as many children as y ou and your husband can love and support. and NEVER let anyone else tell you what is too many. Like I say WAY too often - once you're out numbered - it's all the same anyway... lol

Good luck !!!

e-mail me if you want me to send you photos of my lovely brood lol

Answer 5

I was for 12 yrs a clinical psychologist. I have a daughter who will be 14 at the end of next week. I missed so much of her young childhood due to my work demand. My second child is 10 months old and I now stay at home with him and have since I was 14 weeks pregnant on Dr's orders {I was very high risk due to cervical issues}. I thought that I'd miss my office, co workers and even patients but guess what I DONT! I have my two kids a soon to be 14yr old and a 10 month old and if I was medically able to have another I sure would. Who cares what society thinks or your friends/family think if you can support them and want them, have them. Just make sure that you have the time for them.

Answer 6

You are not crazy at all! I have three children. Two months after our son was born our first daughter turned 4 and three weeks later our second daughter turned 2. I won't say it's easy, but it's worth every minute. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. People should be more family oriented these days. The best advice I ever recieved was: Do what's best for you and your family! So, that's what I pass on to you.

Answer 7

I have 3 beautiful girls all 2 years apart(they were all born in August) and no it is not terrible haveing them. I actually can't wait to have a fourth baby and I don't really care what other people think.(I too get people saying 3 is enough why in the world would you ever want more)

Answer 8

No way! My 1st 2 kid's are 23 months apart, and it's great now. Hard at first, but they're the best of friends. I have 3 now, and want another.

It's unfortunate that so many people opt for no kid's or small families, a big family is great!

Good luck!

Answer 9

No I do not think that you are crazy to want to have three kids. If you can afford to have them, because you know how expensive it is to have one. So three will be three times more expensive. When you are trying to build your family do not look at other women who has one and don't think that they want to have anymore. That shouldn't be any reason why you think that you are crazy for wanting more, just take some time to enjoy them because every one of them will have their own personality and you need to nurture that. So some spacing between them would be my only advice to you. Good luck

Answer 10

My first and second child are two years apart. My second and third are 3 years apart and my third and fourth are going to be almost 10 years apart. Its up to the person. If you are a good parent who give a s*** what other people think or say.