Bridesmaid question...?

Question

Ok so I have picked my MOH dress and my bridesmaids dresses and everyone but one of my girls loves it. She is refusing to buy it. She has severe weight issues about her self. She is like a size 4 or 6, totally toned and looks great in it. But still refuses to wear it. I can't change it nor do I want to! I have 4 other girls who have already paid for the dresses. I am at a loss to what to say to her or even what to do. She is my old friend from middle school , who is now dating my fiance's little brother (who is the best man). So I need any kind of advise... The dress is at www.davidsbridal.com and the dress # is F12639 in "Pool"

Answer 1

I would sit down with her face to face and ask her if she would like to step down as a bridesmaid. Dont make it a big deal if she says yes, just accept it and move on. If she insists that she wants to do it then you should tell her that you have chosen the dress and you wont be changing your mind. And that all the girls have purchased theirs, so there is no way to change it now. If she still insists that she wont be wearing that dress you will have to ask her to step down as a bridemaid. You are NOT wrong here, this is one of the situations where you can put your foot down without any guilt. I hate this term, but you are not being a "bridezilla", so dont let anyone make you feel as if you are being one.

Good luck

Answer 2

In way of an answer, I have many questions. Where was she when the decision making was being done? Why didn't she veto the dress then? Did she veto it and you over-rulled her because she was the only one who didn't like it (if so I understand)? Is she the MOH or just a "maid"? If she's not willing to pay for it, can you pay for it and then insist that she wears it? I understand her place in the family, but can she be replaced if she down-wright refuses to wear it? Okay, if she is the MOH, that's good because typically the MOH can wear a different dress than the other maids, let her buy a dress in that color but with a style that more suits her. I can see why she wouldn't like the dress, at a size 4 or 6 she's probably too bony to wear it (the model online is too skinny for the dress too). Really thin women should not wear off the shoulders or strapless. Anyway, try talking to her, it's only ONE day, and your most important at that. She can surely sacrifice one day for you. If she is just utterly opposed to wearing the dress -whether or not you pay for it - then you have no recourse but to ask her to step down from the wedding party and join the regular guests at the wedding. Good luck.

Answer 3

The Dress is Beautiful.....however, it does not matter. If she is truely your friend, she would wear a gunny sack if you asked her. Changing the dress would be impossible and to be honest, if she is making this much of a deal about the dress, she will find something else to be upset about on YOUR big day. Thank her for her honesty and tell her that she is still invited to the wedding however you do not want her to feel uncomfortable in a dress so she does not have to be a bridesmaid. If you have an uneven number of attendants, have your MOH walk down alone. DO NOT ask someone to take her place though, that would be rude.

Answer 4

Your wedding is not about pleasing your friends. I agree with everyone else ... she has 2 choices 1) wear the dress 2) not be in the wedding party. I don't think you should have her wear another dress in the same color unless she is the MOH which you said she wasn't. It would be out of place to have all the other bridesmaids in the same dress. There are more things to worry about surrounding your wedding than to deal with her pettiness (I'm sorry but that's what that sounds like)

Answer 5

The exact same thing happened to my sister who is in a bridal party next month. The other 4 bridesmaids like the dress but she doesn't. Unfortunately she expressed her dislike in the dress and now they have made things miserable for her (not including her in shower plans and other arrangements, not returning her phone calls). She has issues with her weight while the others are size 2's and look good in anything. I really think the bride should have been a little more sympathetic to her opinion. And I really am tired of people saying, "but its the Bride's day !". It seems once people get engaged it all becomes about THEM and everyone else's feelings get trampled on because the bride must be happy. That's total bulls***t. But that's just my opinion.

Answer 6

Telll her gently that there is no other dress option for your bridesmaids, and that if she really feels so strongly about not wearing the dress, you would understand if she bowed out of her bridesmaids duties. But, as she is dating family and is so closely tied to the wedding party, tell her that you hope that she can look past the dress and still be a member of the wedding party. She is being selfish and rude, and putting you in a horrible position. Just try to be kind, and if she chooses not to be involved with your wedding, realize that you may be dodging other bullets. What is going to happen when you pick out shoes or hairstyles or flowers?!

Answer 7

Your the Bride. It's your Wedding. You make the decisions! Period! End of Story. I took my girls to David's Bridal too and the picked out the dress together. I think they made a good choice, I like it and I picked the color. But my MOH liked another dress better, she thought it looked better on her (she really does have weight issues) but she understood that it's my day and she'll wear what I ask her too. If she just plain out refuses to wear the dress you picked out, find someone else who will. Even if she is you friend and your future brother-in-laws g/f. She'll get over it. It's your day, it's your decision. Just be prepared, you may get some heat from your fiance's brother. But I wouldn't let it bother me. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Sounds to me as if she has some issues about herself that you really can't do anything about. I would talk to her and say "listen I am sorry that you really dont feel comfortable in this dress. The thing is it is the dress I have chosen for my bridesmaids and while I would love for you to share this special day with me as such either you wear the dress and be part of it or dont wear the dress and join the rest of our friends and damily as a valued guest isitting in the audience." Even if she were to wear a wrap with this dress while the other attendants were not she would look out of place, putting her in a different dress would make her look out of place and above all it is your wedding day it seems to me she is being a tad selfish. Are you sure it's the way she looks in the dress or could it be something different like maybe she cant afford it? and doesnt want you to know and this is her way of "saving face"?

Answer 9

I like the color. It's really not up to the bridal party to pick the dresses. It's your day and your decision. She needs to get over it. Nothing against your dress, but who doesn't have a closet full of bridesmaid dresses that they've worn once and won't wear again. It comes with the job! Politely tell her she needs to get the dress or not be a bridesmaid. If she insists on wearing something different, she can fulfill another duty like manning the guest book.

Answer 10

Tell her, "This is the dress all the other bridesmaids are wearing. It's really not up for discussion as I've made the choice and people have already paid for them. Please either buy the dress or let me know if you can't be in the wedding." End of story. She's being difficult and it's totally unfair to you!