Don't tell me what to feed my child! Was this wrong?

Question

This morning at the grocery store an obease woman told me that it's wrong to give a 2yr old candy and rolled her eyes when she saw me purchasing a small package of gummy bears. (Little did she know, they were for my step daughter who is 9). I am a very fit person who exercises and eats healthy. On top of that, I feed my child very healthy foods. My shopping cart was full of fruits, vegetables, meat, and dairy- no junk food. On the other hand, this woman's cart was full of everything but nutritious foods.
So I said to her "Oh, you're right, I should take nutritional advice from someone who knows how to eat healthily. How's that going for ya?" I wanted to make my point without the chance of an argument.

A third person in the aisle said that I shouldn't be so inconsiderate, this woman was just looking out for the well being of my child. Am I missing something here? Is it all of a sudden OK to tell a person what's right for their child when they have no idea what's going on?

Answer 1

You're right, it wasn't her place to tell you what to feed your child. But the way you responded was just kind of hostile. Although you reacted as many of us would have liked to, but unfortunately that is not the type of reaction that people appreciate.

Hey, also, why did the third person say something to you? It seems that everyone is making things their business when it really isn't. Your response was mean in a way, but that woman was definitely out of place.

Answer 2

WOW! Yeah, I think I would have been pretty irritated about that too. I LOVE your response to her though. Me being quite the smart a$s myself, I would have said something like that. Might have been a little bit worse. Especially with her being obease herself.
I don't think you were being inconsiderate at all. For one, people should learn their place and give advice when asked. Also, they shouldn't be so quick to judge and assume things being that they don't know you or anything about you. And, there are far worse things you could do other than give a 2 year old a gummi bear. There is nothing wrong with a little treat every once in a while.

Answer 3

I agree with you, but I want to give the first woman the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was concerned that if the 2 yr old got too much candy they would end up like her. I might have asked why she said that and explained I believe in moderation and once in a while its OK (which I do) or I could have been dumb-founded and not said a word and walked away shaking my head. You never truly know what you will say until you are there. People seem to know what everyone else should do without getting all the info. Take care.

Answer 4

I would have told the 3rd person in the aisle that said you were being inconsiderate that the obese lady was being inconsiderate. They didn't even know who you were buying those for! She just assumed. She had no right to butt in and say she was only looking out for the well being of your child. Isn't that what you are there for? I mean, I'd be like "Oh, gee, I didn't know it was her business to look out for my child. I thought I was doing a pretty good job. Maybe I should let him go home with her even though she's a complete stranger. Maybe she could even 'fatten' him up a little!" WHATEVER!
(sorry, that just irks me.)

Answer 5

FIRST OF ALL....Y was she all in your business? Did you ask her a question or vice versa which would have started conversation? If not, she had no business of her own to tell you what to feed ur child. You could have been buying them for yourself for all she knew. and by the way, the last I checked gummy bears have less or no fat so that was the best type of treat to get. Don't worry about it. Next time just hit the ignore button, chuckle a lil bit with eye contact, and simply move on.

Answer 6

Alright, maybe your comment wasn't the nicest but it was honest.

You were perhaps inconsiderate but nowhere near as inconsiderate as the lady trying to tell you how to raise your child. Unless you're walking around with an obese child or abusing your child in some other way, people don't really have a right to butt in.

Answer 7

It was none of her business to comment on what you should feed your child, especially so since she was not on the nutritional fast track. Don't lose any sleep over this one. Eat a couple gummy bears. Most fruit snacks like that have no fat, did you know that?

Answer 8

I know what you mean. And no it is not right. I have had someone give me advice that they should listen to themselves. Its ridiculous and inconsiderate. I just try to go on throughout the day because they are not even worth dealing with. When i get a rude comment like that i just tend to keep walking or go about my business like they dont exist. Thats how i deal with people like that.

Answer 9

I think that because the woman is obese, she may have been concerned. I think your response was very nasty - appropriate to an anonymous board like this one, but shockingly rude in person.

Assume most people mean well and go from there.

Your 2 year old may be fit and healthy, but I doubt she's learned much from you at this point about how to talk to others.

Answer 10

I have said similar things to people in similar situations. I even said about the same thing to an overweight girl who was a friend of mine who was trying to tell me the right way to eat. I also tell some people that it's none of their business. I guess I am like you in that I don't think strangers should be telling me what to do.