PLEASE HELP!!! I REALLY NEED YOUR ADVICE & OPINIONS!!!! please and thank you?

Question

I've been with my bf for 2 months(im 21,hes24)I am his first gf in 2 yrs(his ex cheated on him & was badly hurt)At first he was always wanting to see me,we live 30 min away and only i have a car.In the first couple weeks he took me to meet his parents and his friends.Lately hes been acting distant.Now we barely see each other and when we do,we are either at his parents house or out with his friends.I hate having to 'schedule' myself in.I feel neglected & like he doesnt care about me. i've brought his up with him b4 and he just tells me i shouldnt feel like that and to just "chill" and that hes "not going anywhere".When we are together he is very attentive and tells me how much he enjoys hanging out with me,but then I dont see him for 4 or 5 days.i've noticed he drinks alot.I need to bring this up again b/c it's REALLY bothering me.I dont want to break up and I dont want to play games.Why do u think hes acting like this???and how should i talk to him about it and make him LISTEN!!

Answer 1

lay low for a while.
and a while meaning a couple weeks,not a couple days.
see if he calls you and stuff.
to me your acting kinda paraniod.
he probably feels your too tamed.
he was hurt before but now he knows that your his.
so be less predictable.
enjoy some sexual activity.
give hi ma lapdance to let him know your in control. but only watch,no touch! if he does the lapdance will be over.
good luck!
<3

Answer 2

Be very careful. My now husband had a very bad relationship and when I met him he was very critical of everything. His ex cheated on him big time and he is the kind of guy that is very true to someone. My advice is take one day at the time. He probably needs space right now. It's hard to trust again, when you have been hurt, and just because you are ready to settle down, doesn't mean he is too. With my husband, at first we would talk on line and just talk about all kind of things. He told me he would never remarry again, and I didn't say anything about it. I let him loose and let him do what he wanted, and he always came back, until he finally realized that I was there for the long run. He might be wanting to see if you are worthy of his trust. Maybe he's doing that, because without knowing it, he is pushing you away, cause he's scare of being serious again. Give him the space that he needs. If he is attentive and caring when he's with you, take it and be patient. After a while he will realize that HE wants to be with you and that he can trust you. Good things are worth waiting for.
Good luck

Answer 3

First of all, call him up when you know you have time. Or, pay him a visit! Don't break up with him solely on this, but the drinking could be something to worry about. But that aside, tell him that you don't understand why he doesn't act the same way anymore. I know this sounds bad, but maybe the excitement of a new relationship has faded away and now he doesn't feel that he's needed to go and do all that special stuff for you. Maybe he doesn't know what else TO do! Drop some hints or tell him flat out that you want to be and feel more close to him. If things don't go well, break up. There's plenty of fish in the sea.

Answer 4

If you're feeling like you're doing all the work to spend time with him, that's not fair - let him do the scheduling; you're doing plenty by doing the driving! 2 months is way too soon for things to cool off if this is really going anywhere, and wouldn't you be happier without him and available to date a guy who appreciates you, if this one doesn't? on the other hand, if he feels like you have your own busy life and you're not just waiting around to jump in the car and visit him, then he might realize he's got to step up to get valuable time with you!

As far as drinking goes... I don't know where your comfort level is; I don't mind when my boyfriend has a beer or so more days then otherwise, but then he can drink a beer in the afternoon and another with dinner, etc, without getting anything like drunk; the few times I've seen him a little buzzed, I've pointed out I like him better sober. But if that's not ok with you, or if your guy gets drunk regularly... However it is, if you're not ok with it, the only thing you can do about it is tell him (calmly and rationally!!) that you don't like to be with him when he's drinking/drunk or that you're concerned he does that too much, and then let him make up his own mind.

If he doesn't make any adjustments, either about making an effort to see you, or with the drinking, you need to decide if you're willing to take him as he is or not. If not, don't waste your time trying to change him - it can't be done except BY HIM. Just move on to the rest of your life - I'm sure there's another guy in your future who can appreciate you and not give you so much grief!

Answer 5

In this 2 months i think ur just the replacements that has replaced the open space or the broken heart that his ex had made. He dont even take u out and have alone time and have u spent time with his friends and parents. He wants to try to escape fromt he conversation that u want to start about him behaving lately. I think hes still thinking about his ex even if has been 2 years or he probably saw his ex again. Just tell him u reali have been actin different i reali want to talk. im serious. I feel so left out and nomatter what u say about me chillin i cant stop my self from feelin that way. Is there reali something wrong,. i reali wanna know whats inside u heart because i feel that there is this reali big rock that is keeping us from being togehter. I cant feel secure anymore with u treating me this way. I reali just wanna talk and i reali want u to stay by ma side and dont want to break up and spend all my life with u. So i just wanna hear u out. Please just tell mw whats in ur heart and well work the problem out togehter. Trust in me honey. well, make through this.

Answer 6

I dunno, to me it sounds like he is just plain being a crappy boyfriend. You have made the effort to talk to him about this already. Some people just have different expectations in a relationship: about everything (how much priority a bf/gf should have etc) and if you can't get through to him what you need from him as your man, what else is there to do? 2 months is a bit soon to be having problems like this too. Dont spend too much time getting upset about this if you two are on a completeeely different page. Best of luck.

Answer 7

damn dude well where should i start? alright uhhh im a guy and i went through the same stuff he went through except im 19 and have a car. hes going through the " im not sure if i should trust her " "i wonder what she does when im not around" " she probably does the same thing" stages , if he was really badly hurt in the past its going to take him a while to get use to all this stuff again... or simply hes a liar and a player , if u say he drinks obiously hes being a fool with other girls

Answer 8

This guy sounds like a user and a loser. I would dump him and get a man with a car. Why should you run around for him? Bring this up to him again and if it doesn't change it's time to move on. There is much better men out there. Good luck!

Answer 9

If your bf was hurt deeply once he probably is afraid of being hurt again. You need time alone together to get a real bond going. Go away for the weekend and see what happens.

Answer 10

He may listen to your feet leaving him, sometimes that's the only answer for them to pay attention. Don't keep nagging him ( no offense) because that's a turn off just say very nicely you are changing and I don't know if I can take that and see if he'll work on his ways. Good Luck!