I caught my boyfriend looking at porn on my computer. Is this normal for guys to do while having a girlfriend?

Answer 1

SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME LAST WEEK! i was so pissed off. i dont understand guys. they have a girlfriend, and can see the REAL thing but yet, they go look at it on the internet too. idk, guys are so weird.

Answer 2

Very normal.

Porn is an interesting, and very misunderstood, thing. For those who enjoy it, we understand what other people get out of it and there's no real problem so long as it's not an addiction. For those who don't see the appeal in porn, it can be immensely hard to convince them that the myths out there aren't true.

People who watch porn are not using it as a substitute for sex, believe me. Porn/masturbation and sex are two completely different things. People assume the same things you do- that he's a horndog who constantly wants more sex, that you aren't attractive, don't fulfill his fantasies, etc., etc., but it's just not true.

The time that one spends alone with porn is VERY different from that spent with another person. It's interesting that in every other aspect of life, we expect an equal balance of time with people and alone time; we recognize them to be necessary to happiness. Yet in sex, we assume that once you have a partner, you have no "need" for solitary sex. That's bull. Sex with a partner is beautiful, amazing, but there are different goals in mind than when you're alone- with someone, you're working to please them, your mind is in a different place.

I know people who have amazing sex lives with gorgeous people- sex is always available and desired. And still these people like to occasionally sneak off and have some moments to themselves, not because of any lack of anything on the part of their partner, but rather because that solo masturbatory time is on a different level from sex with another person.

Don't worry. If your sex life is good, you know he loves you and you love him, he isn't addicted to porn (i.e. he can still climax without it and doesn't watch it excessively to the point of avoiding outside life), then I see nothing wrong with it.

Really, you should talk to him about it if you're feeling a little weird. I don't know your boyfriend or his motivations, you do, and better yet, you have access to him. Communication really is key, and understanding will help both of you in the long run, rather than keeping quiet and just wondering about "that nasty habit of his". If he doesn't understand your confusion/curiosity, and if he doesn't communicate to you why he likes it and how it doesn't harm your relationship, then of course you'll wonder what it means and start a whole mess of needless worrying. What you need to do is come together and talk openly, non-judgementally (this is the important, key word) about your feelings. Express your worry and the anxieties you have, and don't be accusative. You don't want to say something like "Why else would you watch porn if you weren't attracted to me?", but rather frame it in "I" language: "When you watch porn, I get worried that maybe you don't find me attractive anymore.". Ask him honestly what he likes about porn and listen to him with an open mind. Porn is a huge industry, and a gazillion men and a few million women (like myself) like it; it's not as though he is alone. Neither are you, of course- many women and some men, too, don't watch porn, or don't watch it when they have a partner. But the key is to come to a better understanding of one another's sexuality.

I don't know if that helps, but I hope it does.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with that almost all guys look at porn even married men. That's normal. So chill OK.

Answer 4

Yup, totally normal. If you don't want him doing it on YOUR computer, just tell him he's loading up the hard drive with that crap, so your computer isn't running right. Tell him to do it on his own computer, that it is like a virus and you don't want to open your computer up to that. (uh...I'm not trying to make any metaphors or puns here...I literally mean the computer)

If you don't want him to do it at all...first of all, good luck. Try talking to him about how you feel. Might work. Just be prepared to compromise....

Answer 5

Yeah, guys are just weird and perberted like that. They're not trying to make you get naked (and if they are, they're horrible guys), but they are just guys who like to see a lot of nudity. They are quite rude too, and they know it's wrong. No matter what you say they probably won't stop either.

Answer 6

For most guys, yeah, perfectly normal.