Help my Daddy!?

Question

My Daddy is my hero! I love him, he means the world to me and I don't want to ever lose him (as I'm sure no one else would want to lose their Daddy). However, my Daddy has been smoking since he was in his teens. We (as a family) have tried everything to help him... pills, patches, classes, encouragement, lecturing...even grounding!! None of it seems to work. I know he can do it and I'm willing to be there ever step of the way...we all are! For some reason though he can't stop. It pains me to see a man who is normally so strong willed, to be dominated by a cigarette. I know if it were me in his position he'd be there ever step of the way for me, pushing me to do the right thing and give up, however, I'm not in his position and I certainly can't give up smoking for him....please help I'm not normally the sort of person who turns for help on the internet but I'm not sure what else I can do! I don't just want him to live to see my wedding, I want him to live to see children!

Answer 1

a person wont stop something unless they are ready too my love. if hes not ready, no amount of encouragement will make him do it. he'll give up when he really wants to

Answer 2

I love my daddy too although he is passover. He smoke too and stop and when he stopped it was to late. Cherish your daddy if it was not for him you would not be here and mommy.
Man are really like children they do what they want to do when they want too. You can not watch like a child. Remember that is a grown man and treat him with respect no matter what he does. You live your life and hope you reach the age your daddy is in this life. Respect the man. Love will conquer all. But make sure all of you have your funeral arrangements in order. Once born then you passover. You think about living, but think about dying too. Is your life in order. Pray for one another. God knows what time it is. And if you tell him to go outside enough times to smoke and may stop or how the children. He may be going thru something you do not realize.

Answer 3

I quit smoking more than 30 years age. I parents, family and friends nagged me about it. I didn't quit until I make up my mind to do so. Your father has to make that decision for himself. However, I, now, believe smokers are selfish in that they don't consider the feelings of their love ones. They are not only killing themselves they are killing those around them.
I sympathize with you. You sound like a very caring and loving person and your daddy should recognize how much he's hurting you. If "the shoe were on the other foot" and you were the smoker and he wanted you to quit, what do you think he would do?
If your daddy rolls his own cigarettes, like a lot of other people, mix some spices up in his tobacco. (don't tell him that you did it though). My friends son did that and his dad quit smoking.

Answer 4

Smoking cigarettes is an addiction just like alcohol. It will take so much effort that it sounds as if your father just doesn't want to put forth that much work. Have you tried hypnotism? My neighbor had tried everything and then he was hynotised and it worked! Good luck to you and God Bless.
P.S. I know EXACTLY how you feel, my father smoke from the time he was 7 until he died at 57. On the day before he died as they were wheeling him out of the house to go to the hospital (he had a stroke) he said "If God let's me live I'll quit". Unfortunately it was his time. I love him dearly and miss him terribly. I'll pray that your father hears the message in time.

Answer 5

All you can do is continue to support him in every way. When you hear about a new way to stop smoking, get it for him and encourage him to try it. He will quit when and if he's ready. I have a similar situation with my grandpa. He's been smoking since he was 12, and now he's 70 years old. He has bad health right now, and still won't quite. The only thing you can do is continue to stress it. Good luck, and I hope he quits!! I wish you both good health!! :)

Answer 6

Honey, honey, honey, he will not give up unless he wants to.
No cajoling or pleading from you will make a difference, I know I smoked for 30 years (25-30 a day), but I can make a few recommendations.

1) sit with him and tell him how you feel - from your point of view and please be very calm.

2) download the following therapy (it's free and believe it or not it does actually work) from www.emofree.com it does sound a bit mad but stick with it.

3) Do NOT watch over him, do NOT make him feel bad about smoking.

4) With your help and guidance and support he will overcome.

Believe me when I tell you this, I smoked for 30 + years, I have tried everything, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, patches, you name it, they worked for a short while but all were dependant on willpower. This therapy was the only one that made me stop.

Answer 7

I am so sorry darlin but he has got to want to quit. Nothing you can say is going to make him stop....

My mother is the same, she has had 2 heart attacks, is over weight, has emphsema, diabeties she takes 17 pills a day and has to use a pump twice a day and she is still convincing herself that it is not the smoking...

It is worrying to watch your parent harm themselves, and I totally understand where you are coming from, but you have to understand that your dad is an adult and is able to make his own decisions (even if they are the wrong ones)

I'm sorry I couldnt be any more help, but just so you know, there are others out there going through the same thing...

Answer 8

you should really have a serious talk with him and say, daddy: i love you, and you are my hero and say exacctly what you just said that its hard seeing someone who is normally so strong willed to be dominated by a cigarette and tell him daddy i dont only want you to be at my wedding, but to be with my children too! and i would know how you feel because my grandfather passed away who i loved very much because of fxcking cigarette smoking. just tell your dad that you want him to really try, FOR YOU. and that you want him forever :]

good luck, im sorry :/

Answer 9

I can see that this troubles you a great deal and i really don't have THE answer.....but you can try talking to your dad and tell him how you feel about him smoking...tell him that you will do what you can to help him to quit....may be you could try something like slipping little notes in to his pockets maybe where he keeps his cigarettes saying "dad I love you Please don't smoke " or something ... you know him best you don't want to put to much pressure on him because it is very hard habit to break Just let him know how you feel and maybe when hes ready he'll quit...good luck

Answer 10

What a lovely person you are. Giving up smoking is probably one of the hardest habits to give up. I have given up a few times, only to restart later on.
My only advice would be to keep asking him to give up, and let him know often how much him giving up would mean to you. Perhaps get him something special, like a keyring with your photo in it, something he looks at often, and tell him its so he thinks about you wanting him to give up everytime he sees it. That way, he'll have a constant reminder of why he's trying to stop.
Hope this helps.

Answer 11

there is one element missing from everything you have tried, and clearly it is what is causing your father to fail at all these attempts to quit smoking. Clearly, he likes smoking and doesn't want to quit. If he really wanted to, he could, lots of people do it all the time, no it's not easy. It sounds to me like your dad is only trying these different things to get you guys off his back. Here's what I suggest (my neighbours do this) all of you non smokers get together, and decide on this. You will get off your dad's back, BUT he is not allowed to smoke in the house, or in the family car. this will at least look after your health, eventually, he;ll tire of having to put his coat on in the winter to go out and smoke and will decide for himself that he doesn't want to smoke anymore. Its a tough spot your in, good luck?