Why do some stay at home moms feel that every one can afford to stay home if they want to.?

Question

I see questions on her daily of mothers asking how they can get help or things of that nature. Then in the answer you have stay at home moms saying you should be home. You are being frivolous and if you cared you would be home. It is not that easy some people have mortgagees and there husband just can’t afford it on his own. Yes they could probably rent but in certain places in the country rent is really expensive also. Then some people pay for private school because the public schools in their district have horrible test scores. Some people it both parents work full time and they are still so poor they need food stamps. Not everyone’s husbands makes enough money to support them and with the way our world and economy is today you can’t expect them to. So my question why do you who tell these mothers they need to stay home not see the other side of the coin.

i kind of resent the uneducated father comment and the fancy house. I know people who just barley make it and they have degrees, and their homes are no where close to fancy

Answer 1

I can tell you that not every mom can be a stay-at-home mom. I worked full-time and so did my husband. When I returned to school, he saw how difficult it was for me with my two little girls (2 years old and 3 months at the time), going to work, and going to school. He then picked up a second job and asked for me to stay home so that I can concentrate on my school and the girls. My husband works seven days a week, over 80 hours a week. We hardly ever get to see him. He comes home, and the girls are asleep, he leaves for work, and they're still asleep. He has sacrificed a lot in order for me to concentrate on school and the girls.

It is difficult, and there has to be sacrifices. But, I know after I finish school, it'll be a trade-off. I will work for the both of us so that he can continue his education.

I think some stay-at-home mom's would rather fight it out with working mothers. I don't know why some mothers will say that it's devastating to a child when both parents work. It's one of those topics of discussion where it's extremely controversial. But I say, as long as you try the very best that you can, your children will see it. Whether the child is shuffled to daycare or not, your children will understand that you love them unconditionally and that you are only trying to provide them with the best. I would never make such comments as I have seen both sides of being a mother.

Ignore the remarks. Let them say what they want. You know that your sacrifices will be worth it in the end.

Answer 2

I think you answered your own question. I don't know who these people are, but most of the families I know have to have two incomes.

Sometimes, however, when people have severe problems with their children, either physical or mental/behavioral, one parent just needs to be there all the time. It might be necessary to find a smaller less expensive home, sell one car, or have the husband and wife work jobs with different shifts. My husband and I are both RN's and I work days while he works evenings. So there's always someone home. Doesn't do much for your love life, but that gets better once the child(ren) gets older. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I agree with you. And even if my husband could afford for me to stay home I would still send them to public schools. Kids need not to be sheltered so much, they need to be around other kids and find out who they really are. They need to be involved in school activities, sports ect. Sheltering a child too much could cause them to rebel in the future. I also have to say, yes I do tend to work extra hours just have a little more on my pay check each week. A little extra work never hurt anyone plus it shows our kids and sets a good work ethic background for them. I learned to work hard from my parents and I hope that I am showing my kids the same. I think you are doing great, keep the good work up.

Answer 4

I am a stay at home mom, I feel blessed. When I had my first 2 children I was unable to be home, and now with the economy being what it is who's to say I'll be able to keep staying home. I am grateful for the chance I've gotten to be a stay at home mom, but I DO NOT take it for granted. I think that must be what causes other people to judge your situation. Good luck to you and your family, no one can tell you that the sacrifices you make for your family are wrong. You are doing what you need to do to make your family a successful one, and that makes you a good person, regardless of what other people think. God bless!

Answer 5

I don't think the point is directed to the people who honestly cannot afford it.

What personally irks me is when people give the "We can't afford it argument." in one breath and then talk about their upcoming vacation to Aruba in the next.

The other bothersome thing is people who refuse to consider other options by simply assuming "But, this is where I live." or "I have to do this." when the truth is that they simply haven't thought "What else can I do to give my children the best environment and home life possible?".

For some people, there is nothing. Either they truly cannot get a better paying job or else, have already sunk themselves into a whole hole by accumulating huge amounts debt from living beyond their means for years or from their eductation. For those in debt, many people won't ever get out while their children are still living at home.

The point is that people are more important than things. Children desire and require love and time.

If you can give love and time plus the true necessities of life without working, I think it's the best to stay home.

If you can't, caring for your family is top priority. Then, you should work to provide for them.

Answer 6

I am a stay at home mom, cause we can afford it. I think it is great if you can stay home, but like you said some just can't and to me that is okay I don't view them any different. To me you are still being a responsible parent by providing for your family. There are some stay at home moms who stay home cause the rely on the state/ government to pay for everything and that is just wrong cause there are families out there that both parents are working and still need food stamps like you said and they can't get the help cause some moms won't get off there butts and help there family out. Me and my husband do not get any state assistances and I can still stay at home, to me that is a blessing. Because if I had to, I would work.

Answer 7

I've stayed home, worked and am back to staying home so I can go back to school. I love my kids, but I want to do something with my life. Some women are happy doing nothing but being a mom; that's not everyone though. When I'm done with school, I plan on working in a hospital as a nurse. I don't have to do that, but I want to. I'm not doing it for money. I'm doing it to complete me. Another thing, I wonder what will become of these women who constantly preach that mothers need to stay home. What happens if their husbands leave? Will they become welfare mommas because they have no skills? Good question though.

Answer 8

There are alot of narrow minded people that think that their way is the only way.

I have gotten the best of both worlds....I was able to stay at home with my 3 girls for 6 1/2 years and I LOVED every minute of watching my girls grow daily. But unfortunatley now we just can't make it with out me bringing in some kind of income. My girls have not had any kind of negativity for it either. they are still the same little girls I was staying home with just a couple of months ago.

Answer 9

I think if you are able to stay at home you should, but obviously there are many women who have to work. I do think, however, that there are many women who could work part time, or less, if they want to, but dont want to give up cable, or other things so they choose to work more than they should. My husband and I decided that it was the best thing for our daughter for me to be at home as much as possible, and that's what we worked out. It's tempting to work than the 12 hours a week I work now, when we want to buy something, but we know it's not about us anymore, it's about our little girl.

Answer 10

I see the other side... I was a stay at home mom for 4 years while my hubby was in the Navy. I now am a working mom. And if I must say so myself, we are broke as broke can be without receiving assistance. If I could afford to stay home I would. Loved it when I did it. I miss it.

Shame on all those moms who don't appreciate or understand other mom's situations... Appreciate what you have... you're priveledged.