Me and my boyfriend have been together 8 months. He used to tell me he loved me all the time and promise to never leave him, and we've talked about marriage, and kids and everything was perfect. I love him. But recently he told me "Listen, I'm just not into all this totally serious stuff as much as I used to be, there's so much on right now that I need a bit more fun than a completely serious life commited relationship.N no that's not sayin i dont wana be with u, its just sayin...i dont know, u remember wen u told me ur friend from college said theres a time wen the relationship gets less romantic n that, i guess this is it. U hav to realise wen im sayin all this i dont mean i dont want to keep in contact with u, i just mean wen we do its always abt serious things,its never fun little things like it used to be. I love you Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Does he stilll love me? Or is he away to break up with me? I've not heard from him in 3 days, and that was only since I called him as well.
2007-03-19 08:07:45 · 16 answers · asked by leaf 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It could mean that you're headed towards a breakup and he's trying to let you down gently. More likely, though, is that he means exactly what he said- he feels like you two are moving a bit fast and wants to get a little less serious, do the fun flirty romantic stuff that you two did when you first started dating. It sounds like he feels as though you two have fallen into this seriousness rut, and he wants to go back to the fun romantic relationship you used to have. Long term relationships go through phases, it sounds like this is just one of those phases. Good luck.
2007-03-19 08:15:37 · answer #1 · answered by sarai_kristi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 20:30:06 · answer #2 · answered by Stanley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, it sounds like you two started out serious to begin with. And sometimes it's a good thing, when you two feel exactly the same about each other. However, it can backfire. Telling someone, "I Love You" at the beginning of a relationship is not a good idea! This is not to say it is wrong, but it can lead to some bumps down the road. As I mentioned before, you BOTH have to feel the same way about each other in order to make this relationship to work. I think that since he has not called you back, he is either scared that he will be in a serious relatioship where he does not feel comfortable and just doesn't have the guts to tell you, or he is seriously thinking this over and trying to figure out a way in such you will not take it personally. Just from what you "recapped" in the converstation you two had, it seems to me as if he is also confused, as are you. My advice to you would be to either wait at least a week or so for him to call you back, or just let this one go, because you have your entire life/love ahead of you! Besides, 8 months is not enough time, to even begin to think about marriage. Many people feel that just because a relationship is going very well for a few months, means you are to marry them! VERY WRONG!!! I'd say when you are in a relationship give it a year or two, before pondering the thought of marriage with this person. That way, you find out really what kind of person they are emotionally, and mentally. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 7months now, and I still don't know if I'm ready for marriage, and NOT neccessarily with him! Hope this helped some!
2007-03-19 08:34:34 · answer #3 · answered by Cherise M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard to say. It sounds like at the very least he wants some space, which should be given to him. Him saying that the two of you never seem to have fun together, sounds like perhaps the two of you have gotten into a rut, and should try to do more fun, lighthearted activities together. Once in a while, my husband I will go somewhere random for a date. Last time we went to Chuck E. Cheese and played video games together just to be silly.
It could be his way of trying to break up, or it could just be that he feels that he wants to do a little more before he settles down, or it could be both. Give him a while to sort his thoughts out, and then see where you stand. Be careful not to smother him, or you could end up only making things more miserable for yourself.
You should check out a few books: "Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives", "How Can I get Through to You: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women",and "He's Just Not That Into You". You can google either of them to find out more. I think they might help you figure out the situation better.
2007-03-19 08:14:54 · answer #4 · answered by Souris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were as close as your question implies, I would think that your b/f would have told you directly that he wanted to separate from you.
Your friend at college is right about relationships changing, but generally its just the lust that wains NOT the love, in my experience couples generally get closer as time moves on. It could simply be that your b/f feels comfortable with the way the relationship is at the present time and has realized that your both too young too be making such a permanent commitment to one and other.
Try to relax about your relationship, enjoy being young, I suggest that you use this time to rekindle some of your friendship with your g/f's; go out with them a bit more.
GOOD LUCK
2007-03-19 08:21:13 · answer #5 · answered by Lizzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could be the sign of a break-up, yet it could just be that he needs more space. He thinks that just marriage and kids is a bit to serious, thinking that he wants a funner life than sitting at home looking after children. He could be having an affair, but don't confront him of anything unless you have evidence.
He still loves you, or he doesn't, but never try to be to certain of anything. Just ask him if he truly loves you, and if you've done anything wrong. Don't act to soppy, he may think you want attention or something, that's a man thing, just say you liked him like he used to be, and have you done something to make him angry at you. Do what you think is best, and act by your incstints.
2007-03-19 08:18:12 · answer #6 · answered by Stephz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The initial "romance" always goes in a long term relationship - this is probably what is happening to you now. Unfortunately you are not going to know if he loves you unless you ask him and he tells you the truth. I'm sorry but it does sound a bit like he is either letting you down gently - or just saying that he wants to go away and have a bit of fun and keep his options open. (His options being you). Ask him upfront where you stand, it's better to know than to keep wondering. Good luck.
2007-03-19 08:13:06 · answer #7 · answered by JoJi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not sure he says he loves so might just need to slow things down abit you haven't been together long so just enjoy getting to know each other there is plenty of time to get serious later. Sometime we rush into things without thinking cos we get caught up in the moment of things we call it honeymoon period and when that wears off you start to realise that your heart was incharge of you head.One question I would ask is have you slept together yet if so make sure he isn't just using you for sex!
2007-03-19 08:19:41 · answer #8 · answered by phillippa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling read between the lines, look at what youve written here, I just have and to me it def shows he's got cold feet, had enough and wants his freedom back. He may well 'love you ' but not be 'in love with you ' if that makes sense.
he feels that hes lacking something and wants to go out there to find it but you and i both know he wont. Its just a cop out. im sorry to say that he wants to end the relationship and move on to pastures new. Im sory if thats not what you wanted to hear but thats what i think.
2007-03-19 08:14:45 · answer #9 · answered by Scatty 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok hunie this happen with me .
i thougt it over he then broke it up which i think ul guy wil do to break up with u he wil party hard then relaise he wont u bk he jus wont fun let him do it while he off partyin hard u do this to dont pull thoe it wil bring up to much emtions jus has fun then hel b like wont u bk then chat bout u probs go out more relax u relationship more me and my bf r doin wel now but i make sure he dont tk the micky and have it all his way as he did break and make up with me
2007-03-19 08:37:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋