I live 250 miles away from her and she rings me every day and expects to chat for an hour. I'm in my final term of uni and just haven't got time to talk every night. Plus I'm 27 years old!!
She always asks me exactly the same questions - have I got my essays back (not that there are any due back), are the locals friendly (I've now lived up here for 4 years), etc etc. And worse still she keeps nagging me about whether I'm going back down south to live, knowing full well that I bought a house up here 2 years ago, and when I'm coming to visit, although I try and get down to see her at least every month
I know she's old and I try to be tolerant - I do love her to bits, but she's driving me nuts! Any suggestions?!
2007-03-19 07:49:05 · 17 answers · asked by G*I*M*P 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Also, my grandad's still alive, so she's not alone, and my mum goes to see them every couple of days.
My sis has moved to new zealand, but she never gets badgered about moving back to england!
2007-03-19 07:50:17 · update #1
Hiya. I can totally understand your dilema, my mother did the same thing to me when I went to uni. I believe that in this instance, the best thing to do is to be honest with your dear old Gran.
Perhaps start the conversation by telling her you love her and will always be there for her, but you are a busy person and have a life to lead, therefore not having the time to talk to her for ages EVERY day.
It is likely that she may feel slightly hurt to begin with, but reassure her that you are having a wonderful time over there, and are very happy, and that you wish nothing but happiness for her. She is your nan, after all, and i'm sure that she will understand that you need your own space and don't want her to be constantly on your case. Perhaps arrange a couple of days a week in which you will be free to give her the call time she needs, and she will then be able to look forward to these call.
Also, remember that in her youth, letters were far more common, and maybe it would be a nice idea to write to her once a week. I'm sure she will enjoy reading it over and over again, and will be able to cherish them far more than a phone conversation. She may even remember more of what you have told her!
If she persists with the phone calls, then maybe you will have to be more firm with her. I'm sure she is only looking out for you, and simply needs reassurance that you are happy and enjoying your new life.
I'm sure she will love you, no matter what. Send her happy photos of yourself and friends, maybe she will begin to realise that you are indeed happy and enjoying life, and that there is no need for her to worry so much.
Well, I wish you the best of luck! X
2007-03-19 08:20:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
An answerphone?
Then you could ring her back after a couple of days - apologise for not calling sooner, explain that you have been so very busy with your college work and that its probably going to be like that for a while becasue you have to work very hard to make sure that you are a success - make her feel a bit guilty - then suggest you agree a night to give her a call so you can one of your 'old chats' and stick to it. That way you will have more news to tell her a can get away from the annoying questions
The locals being friendly and the 'are you moving back' stuff you just have to live with I'm afraid - I moved away from 'home' 18 years ago but I still get that from my grandad!
2007-03-19 07:56:59 · answer #2 · answered by Leapling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't usually recommend lying but I think it's time for a little white one. In order not to hurt your nan give some acceptable excuse like owing to pressure of studies at present you are having to stay late in the library to study. Then get caller display on your phone, depends of the phone company your with, mine costs £1 per month. Don't shut your nan completely out but if it is really not a convenient time it means you can carry on studying or whatever. However, make sure the answer service isn't on as that could mean you would be oblidged to return the call that evening. I can understand your love her etc and I am sure you appreciate her being there so hopefully in this would prevent any problems for you.
2007-03-19 11:15:32 · answer #3 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably asks the same questions about your essays and such because she wants you to know she cares. Also she may be asking you about moving back, because she wants you to know how much she misses you. I used to talk to my grandma at least once a day, and now that she's gone I really miss our long talks. I was busy too...with 2 small children at home, but I always made time for her and I'm so glad I did. I miss hearing her voice so much! I know it may be annoying at the moment but trust me. Continue speaking to her when she calls. She may not be lonely, but maybe she prefers talking to you? You should feel special...not annoyed.
2007-03-19 08:58:41 · answer #4 · answered by GstefaniFan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is simply a way to show that she loves you, and as for the essay's and so, maybe she suffers from a short term memory?
She can't stop herself from wanting to chat, so next time she rings, simply tell her that you love her, but you really need to get on with your work and you'd love to chat but you haven't got the time.
She may feel a little hurt and rejected but if you need her to stop phoning you need to tell her.
2007-03-19 07:56:57 · answer #5 · answered by Stephz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy it whilst you can - also perhaps you could actually write to her or the occassional card - just saying that you are actually busy for a few days a week now - and to show you care and love her loads you are going to send her a card once a week - she obviously loves and cares for you and I want you to enjoy this wisdom the lady has - so think about the card. She means well.
2007-03-19 07:55:29 · answer #6 · answered by deep in thought 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there are any such vast volume of plausible motives for this, including the meds. She may have a dissociative ailment that manifested itself. A moderate case is oftentimes called deja vu. a serious case is oftentimes called PTSD or diverse personality ailment. this may have also been a demonic manifestation. Any of those issues may nicely be revealed by prayer. Are you a believer in Christ?
2016-12-02 06:00:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a very nice person... and i admire your nan and mum that they have such a good child and grandchild. you are busy but trust me, you will miss the calling if she pass on. So, hang in there. You really love her and i want to thank you on her behalf for being so tolerant. U made my day!! ; )
2007-03-19 08:13:44 · answer #8 · answered by Celia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give nan a break, she cares that's all it is maybe she is a bit senile but still just think where would you be with out her ......just a memory. I miss my nan like crazy and when thier gone I'm telling you it will hurt like crazy. try and tell her how you feel maybe she will lay off you a bit then.
2007-03-19 07:57:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
when she calls, say nan i love you but i can't talk now, then from time to time talk for 5 minutes only, she has to be weaned off this rude habit. yes she is old but old people can still be inconsiderate. you're the only one who tolerates this that's why she keeps doing it. some people think if they keep talking about YOU--then you will give them the attention they want. but this is really about her, because its what she wants.
2007-03-19 08:16:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋