My sister-in- law is having a baby shower in April. Last night she called & left a message asking when we were going to send her gift. A few hours later she text my husband and told us that there mother said that the “gift’s” have to be there for the shower and that they have to be nice and there has to be two, one from my husband and I the other from there grandparents.
I was going to get her a nice stroller that was over $100, $75 from us and $75 from the grandparents. After those messages, I feel like just sending her a bib and bottle and calling it a day, I am so mad that she would be so greedy.
When I had my first shower she insisted on buying a crib for me but never did. I had to run out a week before I had my daughter to buy one(I never did get anything) and for my 2nd shower she sent a set of baby bottles. I never asked her to get me anything and never expected it either.
Am I over reacting? Should I just suck it up and get the stroller?
2007-03-19 07:30:39 · 20 answers · asked by AzzGoodAzzItGetz 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I would get a nice outfit for the baby and maybe a book on how to bring up polite children.
2007-03-19 08:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by Question Addict 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No you are not over reacting. No you should not just suck it up and get the stroller. Get the stroller if you want to get it for them. My back up gift plan is usually a nice card and $25 target gift card --especially if it has to be sent. Sometimes just a card is good--especially if you are under this kind of pressure--it says, " I didn't forget to buy you a gift. I chose to honor the occasion with a card" I think you're not going to "win" with her so don't put too much into it. Go get the card, send it and be done. What is she going to say to junior? Look , your Auntie was rude and sent you a card! Maybe she's not trying to be rude just really young and immature??? --gotta give the benefit of the doubt.
2007-03-19 21:28:16 · answer #2 · answered by TJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are over reacting. But she should not tell you that they have to be there for the shower or demand a gift from you at all. That is rude on her part. If you want to go in with the grandparents to get a gift that is your right. Baby items are expensive and it is alot to ask one person to buy an expensive item. I say talk with your husband about the issue and do what you feel is right.
2007-03-19 14:38:42 · answer #3 · answered by Leslie C 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Of course you aren't over reacting! Its rude to tell someone what they MUST get you. Thats why there are baby registries, so people can see a list of needed items and pick their choice. It seems like she and her mother forgot their manners. It pretty crappy that she didn't put any thought into buying a gift for your shower. So why should you go out of your way to make her happy? I mean, "its the thought that counts"...and she didn't think about you and her brother! I'd just send her a gift card with the money from you and g'parents. Whatever you buy her probably wouldn't be up to her high standards anyhow!
2007-03-19 14:54:52 · answer #4 · answered by MomOfThreeBoys 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No -- she sounds selfish -- I would get her some nice clothes, some baby toys and maybe some diapers -- I'm sure someone else will get her that stroller. But also remember that these gifts are for her child in the long run so I wouldn't base my gift on her selfishness either you want to think of the baby too. Let her know how she is acting too!!
2007-03-19 14:43:01 · answer #5 · answered by Okaydokay21 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, the view from here is that the gift is for the baby, not necessarily for the mom. I think you should get the baby whatever you think is appropriate.
I also think you should get the baby's momster a good book or two on etiquette, preferably a book or books that clearly indicate etiquette with regards to gift-giving and gifting "occasions." Sounds to me like your SIL has a bad case of the gimme's.
Whatever you do, bear in mind that when you are dealing with someone who is behaving boorishly and contrary to proper etiquette and common good manners, you need to take the high road and behave with graciousness and courtesy in order to make the boorish one look bad. This does not mean you have to allow her to walk all over you-- it just means you don't let her provoke you into losing your manners. Do the right thing and keep yourself above petty bad behavior.
2007-03-19 14:48:58 · answer #6 · answered by Karin C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy, she seems like a greedy spoiled brat! I would be mad too. Thats not nice at all. I would send her just "one" gift, which would be from the "both" of you! if she does not understand that. Then "Oh well". She will need to grow up when her child is born! will she get mad if they give her child more gifts for Christmas or another holiday and not her? Remember " Its the thought, that counts!" and it seems as if u all live in different cities. So, she should really appreciate you both sending her something by mail!
2007-03-19 14:36:48 · answer #7 · answered by hot_rican_4_ju 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm so angry by reading your post. How could someone be so selfish like her? I knew people can be self-centered but usually they are doing it in sleek ways.
If I were you I'd buy her something nice but much cheaper than what you originally want to get her. Forget the stroller, there are lots of stuff that are useful for the child and not that expensive. She doesn't deserve it.
2007-03-19 15:02:34 · answer #8 · answered by Speck Schnuck 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO you are not over reacting!
Your are in a no win situation she is your husbands sister and you will have to deal with her for years to come.
I would buy a modest gift and a savings bond that matures when the child gets older
Good luck
2007-03-19 17:46:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would send her a card with best wishes and not send a gift at all. And definitely don't attend the shower. She's got terrible manners to be demanding gifts.
2007-03-19 15:00:17 · answer #10 · answered by mlprocin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋