my parents hate my b/f, we have had some rocky times and i made the mistake and told them. i thought my mom wanted a close relationship with me but she never trys to understand were im coming from. i understand that they want whats best for me and want me to be happy. im 19 and have been with my b/f for 2 and a half years. we have been having problems, and he kissed another girl, i was ferious but i forgave him a month later after making him feel like nothing, i love him and i know he loves me. my mom said she would never give me permission to marry him that she would not be there!!! i dont know what to do, i love him and want to spend forever with him but i love my parents,...he messed up ive messed up but im not going to let him go, people make mistakes, if i cheated on him and wanted him back my mom would let me so whats the differance? any advice
please no saying he's a looser, this isnt about him it's about my parents....
2007-03-19 07:30:35 · 9 answers · asked by CRAZY 8 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i live on my own and go to college
2007-03-19 07:38:36 · update #1
My sister dated someone that we didn't like at your age. They been together for 6 years now. It took that long for me to grow a liking. Her b/f really matured.
It sounds like you are not ready to get married yet and have alot of things to work out with your b/f. I would wait until getting married. For your parents, if you really love your b/f, they should be happy for you. It's not fair for them to pass judgement and munipulate you by threatening not being there for your wedding. You should do what you think will make you happy as it's your life.
My mother wasn't there for mine. She didn't want me to get married because it meant I grew up and tried to embarrase me on the wedding day. She was angry because I didn't even get mad at her. (i knew what was coming and mentally prepared for it). I got married at 25. I was with my guy for 6 years.
2007-03-19 07:40:53 · answer #1 · answered by sweet_cincin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent I understand what your mom is doing. You have to try and remember that she only wants the best for you and is afraid that you are going to get hurt. Maybe she isn't going about it the right way but that is still what she wants for you. Maybe she has made the same mistakes you have and maybe she has life experience in this situation and doesn't want you going through the pain that she did.
I was 19 once and I can remember my mother HATING my boyfriend at the time. I ended up getting pregnant and marrying him and telling my mother that she "just didn't understand!" I repeatedly reminded her that I was not her and that this was DIFFERENT. It wasn't. When our daughter was 2 I ended up divorcing him because he got physically violent with me. It was exactly the same.
No matter how much this upsets you you need to try and remember that your mother loves you, unconditionally, and she is trying to protect you from being hurt. No mother wants to see their child in pain. I'm 34 now and I have learned that MOST of the advice I was given back in those days was right on the money. Try to step back and imagine that you have a daughter and she is coming to you with this situation. No matter how much you love her you would want to protect her.
When you have problems like this early on in a relationship (meaning before marriage) it is VERY likely that they will occur throughout the relationship. Marriage is a very serious issue and it is very difficult. Spending your life with someone requires complete committment and it doesn't sound like you guys are really giving it that. Slow down a little and please, try to understand your mom.
2007-03-19 14:39:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will give you advice from experience with the b/f issue. His started out as a kiss w/ another girl and then it got worse. My parents did not like the way he treated me but were not ugly to him. They did threaten me a few times the way yours are doing. I stayed with him for 5 1/2 yrs and part of it was security, part rebellion against my parents and part was being scared that it was me causing him to cheat. I finally decided that I would rather be alone that be treated like that and left him. He tried repeatedly but I was strong and now I am married to a wonderful man that my family adores and we have a beautiful daughter. I hope things work out for you but I will tell you that now when I look back on it I feel so stupid and I look at my daughter and think how hard it would be for me to put up with a guy treating her that way. I was your age when I left him.
2007-03-19 14:41:24 · answer #3 · answered by JEN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU"RE 19 years old.
Have you moved out? Do you have your own place?
Or, are you still a child and living at home????
You need to grow up.
You've been with this person for 2 1/2 years, since you were 16 1/2.
You should be dating other people, learning about life, working, etc.
Not to be tied down.
2007-03-19 14:37:41 · answer #4 · answered by kabmiller@verizon.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have the right to marry or be with whomever you choose. Its your life. Keep in mind that your mom just wants whats best for you. If this guy did this while your dating imagine what he will do while your married. You might want to take it slow and see what your boyfriend really is. When a guy sheets usually they will do it again.
2007-03-23 14:12:38 · answer #5 · answered by muñeca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents want what is best for their children...there is obviously things that she has observed over the past few years that have helped her formulate a negative opinion of your boyfriend. Bottom line, your mother thinks he's not good enough for you. I see nothing wrong with your mom wanting a better partner for you. It doesn't matter what she thinks anyways, you will continue to date him as long as you want to date him.
2007-03-19 14:43:27 · answer #6 · answered by auntcookie84 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you sat down and asked your parents Exactly ,why they do not like him,,and if so,where all the answers geared towards their happiness or yours,,most parents just want what is best for their children,,sometimes by overlooking what is making theri children the happiest,,,common mistake,,but if it is true love and he is your real hero,then it will shine thru to your parents eventually,just as it has to you,,,best of wishes in this situation,,
2007-03-19 14:39:16 · answer #7 · answered by chris j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had the same parent problems but for different reasons,i decided to go with my heart and today my bf and i are still together i love him and he loves me my parents had no choice but to trust that they raised me to make the ryt decisions for my life coz its my life after all.so i say if u trust and love him go for it and if something happens again your parents will be there saying i told you so but atleast they'll be there
2007-03-19 14:45:23 · answer #8 · answered by sammy .fc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your parents why they don't like him. Is he the same race or religion as your family. See if your parent is a racist.
2007-03-19 14:41:08 · answer #9 · answered by Thanh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋