last week me n bf were makin love....and i couldnt get much fun out of it...so i told him straight i dont feel anything....it wasnt his fault or mine...it was just that i was a bit tired...
...after that he's been so different..he talks to me less...and whenever i try to turn him on, he tries to avoid the topic...and when i call him late night, he says he's feeling sleepy....i'm so confused!!
did i hurt him in anyway...or is he bored with me??
2007-03-19 07:19:27 · 46 answers · asked by >>>♥<<< 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You hurt him.
2007-03-19 07:22:24 · answer #1 · answered by Bright 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor guy, I bet he's feeling really crap now. You could have handled the situation with a bit more sensitivity, he is the person you love apparently. Do you know what does it for you? If so then tell him rather than expecting him to be a mind reader. Women need to be suitably turned on to fully enjoy sex, its a bit different for men its quite obvious what needs to be done there.
Take a week out and talk about what does it for each of you, don't have sex just talk. Then when you do have sex you will have a much better understanding of each other and both get far more satisfaction out of what should be a wonderful experience.
2007-03-19 07:42:16 · answer #2 · answered by isleofskye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like maybe he was a little hurt, but there is a way to fix it. Tell him that it's just important that you enjoy it too. It isn't unreasonable to request that. You just need to give him specifics of what you would enjoy. Let him know that you didn't mean to criticise, you were just trying to get your needs met too. If he doesn't take it well you may have to move on to someone who isn't so selfish.
I just read some of the other answers, and alot of them, especially the ones from guys, talk about it like it's your fault that you bruised his ego. Where is HIS responsibility in this? Doesn't he owe the "O"? His poor fragile ego isn't the only injury going on here. I agree that "not feeling it" makes it sound like you are complaining about his size rather than his effort, but come on. We have to live in reality here. He can't be all sensitive and crawl into a shell rather than trying to learn. She deserves more.
2007-03-19 07:27:51 · answer #3 · answered by Lesley M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably hurt his feelings. I don't know how you told him what you did, but he must have been hurt by it if he is now behaving funny. I would try to talk to him about it. He may not have understood you were just tired. Let's face it, no one wants to hear that the other person isn't feeling anything when we are making love with them. Even though you were just tired. It is good to communicate in the bedroom, but that sounds like it might have been a real buzz kill for him.
2007-03-19 07:25:14 · answer #4 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men r very sensitive u have hurt his feelings. He probably feels inadequate so the next time u r tired don't make love cause it only makes it worse. Telling a man u don't feel anything completely crushes their ego. try and b more polite with words. words do hurt believe it r not. He is not bored with u but u bascially told him u were bored with him, without meaning 2 but that's the way he took it.
2007-03-19 07:28:17 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bruised his ego. You need to build it back up. If he was bored he wouldnt have made love last week, no its the way you handled it. You learned a valuable lesson, you shouldnt have said you didnt feel anything, that is the problem. Now he has had time to really think and it troubles him that maybe you are not into him. Be upfront and tell him you do not want to loose him but that you feel he is putting distance between you and you dont want it to be so.
2007-03-19 07:24:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you were a bit to blunt in your speech. Everyone has feelings, and in that area people's feelings are very sensitive. You can lose a person by saying things like that. That was something you should have talked about later. Yes, I do believe that you hurt him. I don't think he's bored, I just think he's hurt.
2007-03-19 07:29:58 · answer #7 · answered by kalischild57 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably feels hurt because he felt it and you didn't.
Tell him that you love him and want to go out with him.
Keep saying that you like him and try to be with him a lot of the time so he knows that you aren't giving up on him ok?
You have to do this or else he will feel he isn't good enough for you!!!
Good-luck!!
2007-03-19 07:23:15 · answer #8 · answered by smileyfaces4u2u2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be that he thinks that he doesn't turn you on! Guys need to know that they turn their woman on. It may have been a real cut to his ego. I'd dress sexy and invite him over. Seduce him, and then tell him that you didn't mean anything by what you said, that you were just tired, but it didn't come out that way!
2007-03-19 07:24:13 · answer #9 · answered by karenhar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with honesty,but maybe you should stroke his ego a bit.Guys are real sensitive especially about sex.I would've told you to tell him a bit more lightly...and maybe give him some tips.Guys aren't mind readers and not all of us are born with skills.Be his teacher.Try to tell him there's nothing wrong with him and apologize for saying it like that.He just needs to learn.If he still ignores you,it's his problem.You did what you could.
2007-03-19 07:27:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, likely he is hurt..... you phrased it pretty insensitively. You could have just said you were tired, or even nothing at all, but you pretty much said you were bored. I'd apologize and say that you were distracted for whatever reason and that you didn't mean to hurt his feelings.
2007-03-19 07:24:46 · answer #11 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋