Being Single...Can anyone help?

Question

I live in Chicago and I am turning into the "Nice Guys Finish Last" catagory of being single. I am finding that a number of women that I am dating tend to be attracted to Felons, and married men whereas I am happily single, but its getting old. I think I'm better than a Felon as I am responsible with my life choices, but women think its less of me when I've only been arrested for skate boarding in a public way. Can anyone advise on how to avoid issues like these in the future?

Let me know

Answer 1

Maybe you need to start looking for a different class of women. I find it hard to believ that all of the ones you date are "attracted to felons". Are you meeting them in Prison?

All kidding aside, there is nothing wrong with being happily single. It takes av very secure individual to be content with that. Regardless of popular opinion, I would much rather be happily single, than miserably attached.

Just keep going about your own life doign things you enjoy. If you are into certain sports or activities, those are wonderful places to meet someone as they are more than likely into the types of things you are into. Can you let all of your good friends know you are looking for a good woman? Maybe they know someone. You'de be surprised how many people simply assume that just because they are single, others will "take the hint" and fix them up. Not always. Sometimes you really need to ask.

On the first date, I would spend time really getting to know the woman, and likewise. Its going to be a numbers thing. Your odds of meeting the right gal, will become better the more that you date. Yah, dating can be a real chore sometimes, but if you do not risk, you do not gain. However, as first mentioned, be very real from the start. Whoever isn't going to be in it for the long haul will bail asap. You don't have to be too real (ie telling them all of your little secrets etc) but let them know who you are, what you believe in, what is important to you, what you are looking for, etc.

Most of all, believe in yourself. Take it from me, women respect and appreciate a man who is sure of himself. Any "good" woman that is. Save the other ones who are attracted to Felons, for the Jerry Springer Show.

Good luck, hang tough, believe and respect yourself and your desires. You will eventually meet her.

Answer 2

It very well may be the women to which you are attracted are the wrong ones. Maybe it's time to reflect on what it is about a woman that attracts you, as far as personality and her goals in life. It might also have to do with the age of the girls you are seeking. Younger girls tend to go for the "bad" boy.

If another wrong woman comes along, you'll know immediately the signs that she isn't right for you. Don't give up; there are a lot of great women out there who are more compatible with you than any felon. :)

Answer 3

The problem is your dating habits. You need to change the type of women you date. If a woman is more attracted to a felon than a law-bidding citizen with a job then you need to avoid her at all cost. You need to look for a different kind of woman.

If you're serious about finding a quality woman, you need to change your methods. You need to stay away from the clubs and start going to special events at universities, coffee shops, book readings (at libraries), high-end pubs, good bars (the ones where upper-middle class women go to), and utilize the Internet. Go to dating sites and start reading profiles. This will allow you to weep out the undesireables.

Try myspace, yahoo personals, and okcupid.com (which is free).
And last but not least, don't give up. Remember, all you need is one good woman.

Answer 4

The only people who "finish last" are those who choose to. That's a lame excuse used by people who don't get what they want...women don't want felons, but we do like guys who are interesting, whom we feel chemistry toward, and who like to have fun.

A lot of people don't date all the time...that doesn't mean they are too nice to date or that they will finish last, but that they are selective and it also is a fact that as we get older, the dating pool gets smaller (more people are in relationships and we're more choosy about the ones who aren't because we've learned from past dating experiences).

Don't be ready to finish last...just have patience. If it were so easy to find a great match, we wouldn't appreciate them nearly enough.

Answer 5

Maybe you're just looking for the wrong type of woman. A girl better suited for you would be the shy girl, trust me, speaking from experience we're not completely crazy on the criminals.

Are you athletic? Playing sports or going to the gym is a great way to meet girls. I know, the dating scene sucks sometimes, I've only had one boyfriend and he was more of a woman then I am. Patience is everything, don't go looking for a relationship, wait until it finds you lol and smacks you in the face.

Your standards for woman may be too high, don't hold beauty high on the priority lost and go for a rockin personality. Hang out in a variety of places, park, gym, library the mall things like that. If you see a girl you're interested in, go for it.

Good luck

Answer 6

I am not attracted to felons and I do not find it impressive if a guy was arrested. I think you should let the past be in the past and live for the future

Answer 7

there are many places to meet the right woman, especially living in chicago. dont change and turn into something you are not. try going to the free concerts in grant park, go to navy pier---there are many different places to meet people, the right kind of people. it should be easier to find the right kind of girl because u are a nice guy with your head on straight. there are many people i know wish they found a nice guy. hang in there. im sure there is someone out there for you.
it may sound funny, but its true--you will find the right one when you least expect it. dont try so hard, she will come to you.
try going out in groups for a while and concentrate on having fun. you never know what may happen.

Answer 8

Dear one if you can share with your priest or pastor how you feel. Your values are well and good. And our Parish has a very large Singles Group where many have met their spouse's. Perhaps God is the answer to the desire's of your heart.

The prayer of St. Francis says it best...

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.