how long is to long?

Question

see; sometimes my dad can be mean and abusive; should i take it or run away to a friends house for awhile?

Yea. my dad has depression and temper problems and my mom left us and he takes it anger out on me; but i love him so I come close to leaving then i stay and i get hurt even more...plus i dont ever get to hang out with friends after school because i have to take care of him :[
thankyou for your concerns everyone.
i kno it will get better :]

Answer 1

maybe you should talk to an adult you trust first!

Answer 2

Well, sweetie... I've been in your position only it was my mom. You name it, she did it. So I can understand your situation completely. The reality of it is, you can't run away... You're not going to be doing yourself any favors. You may not be able to complete school, your dad could call the police and file you as a runaway which will automatically give you a bad record that won't magically go away when you're 18; you have to file to get your legal records as a jeuvinille sealed. That and when you do go back home, which it will happen, your life will only get worse and he will be sure to make it happen. I'd also have to say that talking to a social worker doesn't always help. I've tried it... And unless you have some hardcore evidence against him abusing you, the chances of them taking you out of his home or emancipating you are slim. In fact, sometimes social workers just make it worse... They'll want to talk to your dad about the problems at home and most likely suggest classes for him to take. This will only say to him "you're a bad father, your daughter said so" and it won't open his eyes, it'll only make him furious and he will take it out on you. Even therapy... Unless you can find a way to do it discreately or figure out a way to approach the subject with your dad where he won't automatically get defensive, then you won't be able to find a lot of help. The best you can do is tough it out, realize it's not your problem, it's his problem and just continue to repeat to yourself "I'll be 18 in..." however far away your 18th birthday is. If you're 16 or 17, then you really don't have that much longer to go and you can survive it. If you're younger than 15, then you might want to consider getting an authority figure involved if you can get proof of the abuse (such as bruises, scars, etc.). In the long run, if you can look at the situation for what it is, it'll only make you a braver, stronger person and you'll learn to have self-respect and pride. Dealing with his abuse doesn't make you weak and it doesn't mean you're disrespecting yourself... It means you're in a bad situation that you can't change and the best you can do is try to survive it and eventually overcome it. I wish you all the best and I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Don't run away. Call child protective services one day right after he leaves a mark and try to take a picture of it also. The picture will help out if they don't come till a few days later. You can tell them you want to make an anonymous call. Meaning you don't have to say its you. Just say your a friend calling out of concern. And then think of a family member you can go to so if your given the choice of where you want to go. You can tell them to call a family member. If he bruises you really bad wait till it is visible and call the police, just tell them that you don't want your dad to know you called. Start spending some weekends with different family members because if it gets really bad child protective services will put you in a foster home unless a family can take you in, and in that case you will only be at the foster home for a little while until they can contact a family member for you to stay at. But proof like pictures is going to make a big difference in proving what he is doing to you. If its just verbal abuse, then just tell him how you feel.

Answer 4

Talk to someone at your school or a friends parents. Running away will not solve the problem. Talking to someone that you trust will help you. If he gets abusive, then you need to notify the police. The courts can make him get the help he needs so everyones life can be better. Good Luck.

Answer 5

i went through the same thing. and the best thing to do is leave because abuse is nothin to play around with. ok. trust me. i know...i been there. and if you stay it will only get worse. how old are you n e way. cuz if your really young like 15 or somethin then if you do run away they are gonna put you in a home or somethin. find a family member that will take you in. like an aunt or your grandparents or somethin. PLZ dont stay. thats some serious s--t

Answer 6

for starters, people's definition of abuse varies, why do you think it is abuse? when you do something wrong, does he spank you? or does he close fist punch you in the face?...big difference. All dad's can be mean, mom's too. They normally are only like that because you have gone against their wishes. They can also get mean because parents can no longer discipline their children without the child screaming abuse, just because they didn't get what they want. Think long and hard before you talk to someone about this. Are you ready to never see them (both parents) again? Is it really that bad or are you just spoiled and don't want to comply to your parents wishes?

Answer 7

Well it depends, if you think mean is making you do your homework, or abusive is making you go to your room things like that then you should learn to follow the rules, but if mean is calling you bad names or cussing at you and abusive is physical and he is hurting you then you need to go to someone of authority, some one at your school should be able to help you, do not run away let someone know who can help you and put a stop to it.There all types of abuse and you should really talk to someone like your teacher or school councelor to find the best course of action.

Answer 8

Neither. It is hard to live life on the road and then you can be picked up and taken to jail. I know it may be hard to do, but talk to a counselor at school or turn him into CPS. It will be hard for you to do, but you are worth it. Also, do you have another relative that you trust and that will support you?

I'm so sorry that things look bad right now, but hopefully you can turn things around so that your adulthood won't be plagued with this way of life.

Answer 9

I say yes if he is really abusing u. I mean like punches, smacks, that leaves busies. After u get away from him i say call the police or tell a trusted family member. But defiantly get away from him.

Answer 10

Y should you have to run. Where is your mother in all of this. Why isn't she standing up for her kids. This should not be your problem to deal with. Go talk to someone and get him removed from the home

Answer 11

If you run away then it makes you the bad kid. Go to a teacher, a policeman or something.