Me and my guy have been dating for almost 11 months. His ex realized she was a bi sexual during their relationship and it left him stunned. In retrospect, I realize that I picked him up on the rebound. Ocassionally he still does things to get her attention. For instance, he views her "My Space" every now and again. On two occasions he has given me 'updates' about what is on her page. Not only that but he has sent her messages....the first one was just a blank email with a period at the end. "." What that means I don't know. It seems like a cry for attention, when I asked him if that was the case, he said "Probably"...On Sat. he send her a "I hope all is well and your getting what you want out of life" email...My problem is I am TIRED of it. He says he doesn't want her back nor does he still love her. Am I wrong for wanting to cut him off and let him solve these loose ends, should I call the girl and try to hook them back up together again?
2007-03-19 06:28:25 · 19 answers · asked by Miss Brookyn 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What he says and does are two different things. I had this problem recently. Actions speak louder than words!! Give him some space so he can decide what it really is he wants. Good Luck!
2007-03-19 06:37:51 · answer #1 · answered by MISTY 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you already know that he was on the rebound so none of this should come as a surprise to you. because it doesn't to me. he still checking her my space page and sending her messages, he is crying out to her because there is still unfinished business between them as far as he is concerned and he told you this when he said probably.
if you are really tired of it speak up. a woman without a voice will never get the attention of any man. he will do you how wants until you tell him point blank i don't like you emailing her, checking her my space page, and whatever else he is doing. if he really cares he will take your feelings in consideration and stop it or at least explain his reasoning.
i can't make the decision for you but you should not feel bad for wanting to break things off with him. i wouldn't try to hook them back up but i might send a note on her my space page and talk to her about your dude.
good luck.
2007-03-19 13:39:58 · answer #2 · answered by Blessed and Happy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you need to kick him to the curb. It's obvious that he still has feelings for her. No offense, no offense on any guys out there but most of them will not tell you the truth when it comes to thier ex's. I honestly think he is still into her. If I were you I would tell him what for and let him know you aint just some girl that he can step all over. Show him the door and wait for the right man to come along, don't worry he is out there some where. Good Luck and keep your head up. By the way as far as trying to hook him up again with his ex..don't even bother to waist your time on them.
2007-03-19 13:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by Shorty06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only true answer: If it bothers you, then it's wrong. And there are only 2 solutions. Tell him it bothers you and if he doesn't stop then leave him, or Tell him it bothers you and if he doesn't stop put up with it and be miserable, because that's what's going to happen. It's unhealthy for him to constantly be checking up on her. Instead, he should be checking up on *you* because you're the only woman he should care about in that way. If he can't be sensitive enough to the fact that this bugs you (rightfully so!) then he needs to find someone else that it doesn't bug or go back to her.
Sending comforting thoughts to you--this is not a happy situation, no matter what!
2007-03-19 13:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by um yeah... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he shows that he wants to be with her. He shows a lot of effort just for her attention. I did that for some time in the past and i did want to get back with my ex. Just give her a call if it really is gettin out of hand and see where they are at. If its goin somewhere its better to go your own way because you can get hurt in the end.
2007-03-19 13:35:41 · answer #5 · answered by D.C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it is ok. At least he's not doing it behind your back, but he's not thinking about how this affects you.
Trust is not just given. It has to be earned. I have women friends. But I also protect myself by talking about my wife and my kids. This reinforces the relationship boundries. The women who I am friends with know that it's just friends. They can't misinterperet my friendly actions to mean something else. If he is contacting this other woman but there is no mention of his current relationship, then I feel he is not over her. He's not willing to set the relationship boundries with her.
I'm afraid you need to dump him. He's not giving you a reason to trust him.
Good luck.
A~
2007-03-19 13:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by BigMac2xk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its best that you let him sort out his emotions with his ex. If you don't, it could possibly lead to him cheating on you. "you can't make a future if you are steady looking back on the past" This has happened to me and i wished my girl closed all the doors to her past. Don't break it off with him, just let him know that he really needs to get his thoughts straight and that you're not comortable with him talking to his ex. Ask him to put himself in your shoes and throw everything that he has thrown at you his way and he'll get the story. Whatever you do. Do not try to hook them back up because it shows that you don't care about the relationship and that will confuse him even more.
2007-03-19 13:36:54 · answer #7 · answered by drew46759 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. He told you he made attempts to contact his ex; did he disclose to you if she replied???? Sounds like he's lying to himself and he does seek to reunite with his ex.
Possibility exists that his affections are unrequited--the ex doesn't want to be with him. After all, he turned her away when she openly told him of her bi-sexual discovery. Besides, people who discover such in mid-adulthood are very into further discovery of their personal sexuality; quite possibly she simply feels any time with YOUR boyfriend is a waste. It is NOT advised you contact the ex-girlfriend.
Simply tell boyfriend you have ZERO TOLERANCE for his attempts to contact this girl. Either he stops or he goes on his own to try and win her back---WITHOUT YOU in his life. Leave him to "choose wisely" and await an answer. Tell him this stands firm with NO neogations allowed otherwise.
2007-03-19 13:44:00 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems confused and needs time to figure it out. If you guys are suppose to be together than you will meet up again in the future. I wouldn't call the girl. I think your bf needs to be single for awhile.
2007-03-19 13:37:17 · answer #9 · answered by mickyg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell no gurl u r sooo much betta than that u need to let him go!! seriously he is just holding on to u so he will have a rebound gurl so if him and that ex. never happen he will have u still soo let him go before he beats u 2 the punch for that lezz! :)
2007-03-19 13:36:40 · answer #10 · answered by Nikki E 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋