There's this guy. He doesn't get it through his head that I don't want to go out with him again. I like him, he's a nice guy. He told me he loved me, and I told him the same, but that I wasn't in love with him. I'm interested in another guy and I told the first guy this, but he takes it the wrong way. He thinks that I said I was in love with both of them, when I'm not inlove with either of them. How do I explain it to the first guy without hurting his feelings?
2007-03-19 05:48:25 · 24 answers · asked by Lexy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you can't. he does not hear what he does not want to. and next time,,,with guys like this...say....i like you as a friend. some guys are really having problems with i love you as a friend cuz they are hoping this friendship would bloom into romance.
2007-03-19 05:54:00 · answer #1 · answered by babytalk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unrequited love nearly always leaves one hurt, no real way around that. It's stuperfying how we actually believe we can avoid difficult personal relationships without experiencing the pain when such go sour.
You simply either tell or write the guy that Love is a widely unerversal emotion that carries several types of itself.
Love can be a bond of friendship, loyality and respect.
Love can ALSO be a bond of romance for two who share private intimacies.
Love can be a simple compassionate act of chairity, where one offers/gives to ease the hardships and/or sufferings of the less fortunate.
The "I Love You" you spoke to this guy falls directly into the first abovewritten example of Love; there is NO romantic love there between you and he. You can carry ONLY a ROMANTIC LOVE for ONE, you have such a love for someone---and it simply isn't him.
That pretty much wraps it. He'll be hurt for a while--but be assurred he'll recover and eventually understand.
2007-03-19 12:57:36 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you love him - your are definitely not in love with him. He may be okay with that and want to remain friends. If not, sadly you will lose a good friend. That happened to me recently - this guy is great! Sweet, loves me, wants to marry me, etc. but I just don't feel the same way. I tried to be friends with him - he's a hoot and I love going places with him - as a friend. At first he said he was okay with that but everytime we did something together I felt pressured to take it to a level I wasn't comfortable with so I told him exactly this - for that reason we can't be friends and that makes me sad but obviously it's not something you're comfortable with and I don't want to hurt you. We had to say goodbye. It's okay though, he will move on and I certainly didn't want to continue to be around him knowing it was painful. If you're not in love with the second guy, don't make the same mistake by telling him that you love him too please!
2007-03-19 12:58:05 · answer #3 · answered by Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, truth really hurts and there's nothing we can do about it, but it will be more painfull to the first guy if he keeps on hoping and thingking that you love him were the fact is you don't, if he misunderstood what you are trying to tell him, then the best words you can say him is that you do like him but theres a big difference between liking and loving a person, you can even tell him that for know you like him and you really enjoy his company, but you still have more priorities in your life than having a boyfriend or a commitment, but you will still be a friend to him no matter what. well i hope you get my point
2007-03-19 13:03:46 · answer #4 · answered by Cool_cat14 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that he's a nice guy but u can only ever take him as a buddy or a brother. let him know that love cannot be forced and there is no way u can see a future with him together so let's just be friends and nothing more.
2007-03-19 13:00:18 · answer #5 · answered by dovett 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know that you can explain it to the first guy without hurting his feelings. Its seemst as though he thinks that if he is persistant and keeps trying that you'll eventually crack and go out with him. you've just got to be firm and tell him how it really is. Tell him you still want to be his friend ( if thats true) and tell him if he doest stop bothering you about this then you wont be able to be his friend and you will have to stop talking to him all together
2007-03-19 13:00:43 · answer #6 · answered by Devon A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be prepared to hurt his feelings. Tell him straight that you don't want to go out with him, that you never loved him as more than a friend, and that you made a mistake saying so. Be more careful who you tell you love.
2007-03-19 12:54:15 · answer #7 · answered by Alicia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do it without hurting his feelings. You just have to tell him straight up that you don't care about him the way he wants you to and that he deserves to have a girl who loves him the way he loves her and that isn't ever going to be you.
2007-03-19 12:53:18 · answer #8 · answered by Vexer D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If ur explaining your feelings or emotions to them like your doin to us....then believe me your getting them confused...
just dont tell the one you love about the other one,just tell him that you love him and him only...
and just tell the other guy that you just consider him as your friend,nothing else(when u say to a guy that your just his friend.....thats enough.......)
2007-03-19 13:15:56 · answer #9 · answered by sCrUbs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's got to be hard.I am not sure I seem to fall in love with all the girls I get involved with and get my heart ripped out and stomped on every time.Good luck.
2007-03-19 12:51:57 · answer #10 · answered by Buck 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋