17 and still single. I don't like the ppl's reactions when I tell them that?

Question

Okay the easiest answer is probably, "She is ugly", I am not and it's not because I think so, I 've been told so.
I have a low self esteem and have been single for like all my life. There is a guy I am interested in and by the way he talks to me I can tell that he likes me too.

The thing is that I can't get to know people better. When someone asks "Any bfs?" I can only say "No", that makes people go. What do those people feel like? Do they think "Something must be wrong with her since she 's got no bf yet" or "She' s inexperienced, not worth my time"

It even happens on the internet. I say "I am single" and they say "Oh... do you have a pic?"
Of course I am not going to show my pictures to every stranger I meet on the net, so after I refuse people will be either like "You must be ugly -*leaves me" or "Why don't you have a bf? What do you look like?"

All these things make me feel bad for myself. I think I should do something. Any advice?

Answer 1

I felt the same way at your age. I had never had a boyfriend, and yet I wasn't ugly but people's reactions made me feel bad.

But just think that you're an apple on a tree.
Teen guys aren't interested in making an effort, so they'll pick the apples up off the ground, or the ones at the bottom of the tree.

You need a guy willing to take a ladder, climb up and pick you, because you're one of the better apples ;)

Hang in there.

PS: I'm not implying that if you already had a boyfriend, you'd be a "bad apple" - some girls find a guy willing to climb up the tree before others.

Answer 2

I used to go through the same phase. What I would tell them instead of saying no is, “There’s one out there.” That would show ppl that even though u don’t have one, u still have hopes 4 getting one. When u answer with a no some ppl think, “This grls not even bothering 2 get herself 1.” Besides, y should ppl be going around asking u if u have a bf? Is it the only topic out there to get 2 know u? PPl like that feel well nothing. They just think, this grls not worth my time, but u are! They just ask u that to see if ur among the ppl who do. Don’t pay attention 2 them when they say, “Something must be wrong with her since she’s got no bf yet.” That’s showing them that u don’t want 2 be grls that go on-and-off with every guy. That shows everyone ur a player. And if they say that ur ugly, tell them, “U don’t know how I look like or much better u don’t who I am, so how u can be saying Im ugly if u haven’t seen me?” If they say the same thing about the bf, just back urself up with the same defense about ‘being ugly’ topic. Defend urself in ways that shows ppl they’re wrong! Stand up and ull do great!

Answer 3

judging from the answers I've read I would be inclined to agree with them in that you might be somewhat better off being single.

But that doesn't make you feel any better about yourself does it?

If you don't feel good about yourself then other people won't feel good toward you either. You just have to change your point of view about yourself. Instead of becoming self-conscious about yourself when you get a turn down, say to yourself, "Well, that person doesn't know what he's missing. It's his loss."

you have to know that you are a wonderful person and have a lot to offer a boyfriend. If a person you're interested in doesn't want to give you a chance then that is a mistake on his part, not yours. You are who you are. If what you have to offer isn't enough for someone then maybe that persons standards are unrealistic.

You don't need a long term commitment from anyone, you are just looking for the experience of an intimate relationship.

Be strong. Be honest. Believe that if anyone that doesn't want to give you a chance is a damned fool. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Listen to me---single at 17 is no big deal. I'm 23 and single. Low self-esteem can greatly hurt your chances at getting a good guy. Personally, if I meet a girl, no matter how beautiful she actually is, if she's negative about herself, I'm not interested. I don't want a snob that thinks she's better than everybody---I just want a girl who appreciates herself. Guys can tell if you think badly of youself and it runs us off.
As for the picture thing...chat room guys are creeps a lot of times.....but the picture thing is for other reasons too. We want to know how you look to be sure we aren't talking to some old perv guy pretending to be a 17 y/o girl. Or worse, a 10 y/o that could land us in jail. Most people want a general idea of who they are talking to. It has nothing to do with whether you are cute or not. (For some it does, and you need someone who appreciates YOU, not your looks)
Also, to get a boyfriend, you have to make an effort. Some girls just want guys to flock to them without every making a move. We don't want you to throw yourselves at us, but it is nice when the girl makes an effort.

Answer 5

I used to feel the same way. Until I met my husband. I thought I would never find some one to love me. But I did and you will to. It takes time. I believe that there is some one out there for everyone. You will find him. Just be patient and he will come to you in the most unexpected way. Just keep your eyes open for opportunity and seize it when it comes. I have been with my husband for 11 years now and I have never been happier. I hope the same for you. Try instead of saying I don't have a BF to I choose not to have a BF right now. I want to have as much fun as I can before I have to settle down. This will make people look differently at you. And respect your decision. AND it makes the guys crazy. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

Speaking from being like that too at one point in life, don't be shy. I used to not take complements easily, but I noticed that sometimes people can get the wrong impression. If your shy, they think you are concited becau you supposebly think you are too good to talk to people.Just open as if you know them for a long time, this way people will want to be around you, guys will see you more attractiveand , and your self-esteem will raise. Just be more laidback and you will gwt used to it. For you acting this way, not only you loose great oppurtunities with friends and guys you like, you are going to look back in the future and wished you could have done things different.That is why I decided to change and I feel more happier and have more friends.

Answer 7

Sweetie, it makes me feel sad to hear you talk like that. Being single isn't a reflection of who you are as a person. As a matter of fact, it may mean that you don't just accept whomever comes along as a partner. It isn't a character flaw. I'm single and I'm quite proud of it. I enjoy it actually. I know that its difficult not to care what other people think but if you spend your life feeling that way you are going to make yourself miserable. What really matters is what YOU think. There is no rush to find a boyfriend. I know plenty of people that didn't get married until their late 30's and are much happier than those that got married in their early 20's. Things happen when they are supposed to happen. Its not under your control. You sound like a caring person. Try not to push so hard to find someone. Your time will come. (I'm a lot older than you obviously, so I've learned from my mistakes). Having a boyfriend doesn't make you a better person. Take care of yourself.

Answer 8

when people ask you if you have a bf or not just answer, no, not at the moment... i was taking time off for myself... it's not saying you've never had one but it's not saying you've been around either.

just inform people that you were getting your life together for yourself first before you brought someone else in the mix.

i didn't get my first bf until i was 16.5. then after that i wasn't single for longer than a month at most... now i'm 20 with a wonderful bf and everything is going good..

i use to get the whole... oh you don't have a bf you must be ugly or a lesbian... and i just took as it was and stated other things are more important to me than being with someone at this time in my life.

if you need more advice email me anytime.

Answer 9

Well you are really young to worry for not having a bf at your age! You should wait to meet the right guy, since you haven't already. And, on the other hand, the fact that you are still single does not make less or more attractive/interesting/ugly/beautiful etc... you shoud just not pay attention to those ***holes!

Good luck!!

Answer 10

Just because you havent had a b/f doesnt mean that you arent worth anyones time. Try to talk to the guy & move your friendship closer. Personally I wish I could stay single til I'm 17. I'm 16 but I would stay single if I could but I'm happy with the guy I'm with. Its been 6 months since we've been together. You'll find somebody! If not, then maybe the guys just dont see whats in front of them, lol. Good luck. :)