why do girls like screwups?

Question

i know the conventional wisdom is that a woman wants a man who is successful, but that doesn't seem to be the case around me.

i know lots of stable, successful guys who are totally frustrated. and i also know guys who are broke, live with their parents, have no degree and a crappy job, but have women all over them. they might get dumped after a few months because they 'have no ambition,' but they can always find another girl right around the corner. i'm basically talking about folks in the 22-30 age bracket.

are successful guys intimidating?
are irresponsible guys more exciting/fun?
are career-driven guys boring?
do women get off on 'mothering' loser guys?
do women feel they don't deserve better?
maybe a guy without a job has plenty of time to put into his gf?

Answer 1

The main thing is that these guys seem interesting. They are the ones that don't automatically fall all over the women. If a woman can get these kinds of guys to notice her then she feels she has beaten the competition. Compare that to the guy that does all the stuff the way they are 'supposed' to. They come off as doormats and pussys.

Answer 2

Perhaps you are right, maybe women do find successful guys intimidating. Maybe the slackers are the kind of guys women feel comfortable with, or superior next to. It is a bit mind boggling because the truth is that the succesful man is the ideal man that the common woman wants to be with. The idea of mothering these losers makes sense. Maybe it makes the women feel as if she plays more of a role in the relationship whereas being with a successful man she would feel as if she were being taken care of. Guys who have nothing else going on in their lives must have spare time to work on their charm or something. Often times people are just foolish when it comes to who they fall for and time will soon reveal their mistakes. Crazy, I know.

Answer 3

I think that alot of women have a low self image of themselfs and dont believe they can do any better. But...its just as easy to fall inlove with a rich man as it is a poor man. Have you ever watched what kind of women go out with the guys who you believe are less deserving? Besides seeing a women by there side do you ever wonder what their story is? Where they come from where they plan to be going? Do they come from a broken home or something to that extant. Maybe the women who go for them are unsure of where they want to go in this life and want to play around. You do have a good point with the mothering loser guys theory because I once had a friend who dated this guy who was 25 and he looked like he was 35. You could tell the world kicked him in the nuts repeatedly. My friend was all over him she wanted to make him happy because of how unhappy he was. No matter what he was still unhappy and one day turned on her and gave her a black eye and when she fell on the ground and kicked her in the stomach a few times and threw her out the door. Try something out with watching the women of these guys. Look at them and think who you think they are where they come from what has happened to them in the past that could have brought them here and poke around find info and come up with your own answer as to why girls like screwups.

Answer 4

are successful guys intimidating? sometimes.
are irresponsible guys more exciting/fun? depends HOW irresponsible *giggles and bats eyelashes*... but yes no one likes 2 admit that they were home on time
are career-driven guys boring? yes
do women get off on 'mothering' loser guys? no
do women feel they don't deserve better? i know a few but theyre all losers
maybe a guy without a job has plenty of time to put into his gf? well if its a DAY job, thats ok...

Answer 5

I'm not sure but i think if you look to TV and realize the most successful men on shows are stereotyped as big time players while the underdog "screw up" is always the the lovable character the girl will always fall for in the end, id say that many women might have the same opinions and feel safer going for the "looser" cos she wont have much to loose.

Answer 6

are successful guys intimidating? - It may be.
are irresponsible guys more exciting/fun? - It depends on the girl. If she wants a sucessful guy, or a partying guy.
are career-driven guys boring? - If that is ALL they think about.
do women get off on 'mothering' loser guys? - They feel sorry for them.
do women feel they don't deserve better? - Not sure.....
maybe a guy without a job has plenty of time to put into his gf? This is possible

Answer 7

I think maybe irresponsible guys might also be a little reckless...taking the fast lane or being the bad boy. When your in your 20's and having fun, they are probably hot, fun guys to get with for a while.

When it comes time to look for a husband and father, 9/10 they're going to pick the successful guy. I don't mean to make us sound like "gold-diggers" but when it's time to "Get serious" we want someone who is stable, financially secure, responsible, a good dad, etc.

The woman you are thinking of probably aren't ready to settle down. Find someone who is.

Answer 8

WHAT?? I myself am VERY ambitious and goal oriented. I love a man who is successful and is ambitious. I dont want some loser who is just taking up space and air. Career driven successful men are a huge turn on for me. No they are not boring. I cant believe that you dont have a woman! Thats crazy. Maybe some women are intimitated by guys like you but I for one am not.

Answer 9

The response I get from female friends who I have asked the same question to (and date low lifes) is that the successful men are usually slightly more boring, practical, predictable and as one girlfriend told me, talks about himself and work ALOT! Some woman fall for losers because of the need to look after rubbish men, I read a book about it, especially woman who have childhood/men/family issues! I myself dated a very successful man, and he was a genuinely great guy, he just had no sense of humour, and that is one quality I happen to like! I guess it varies from person to person!

Answer 10

No
No
No
Some do
Yes
I doubt it. Most of these are self-absorbed.

The problem is that some women have this thing in their heads that they are attracting the wrong men. A lot of times it is because of something from the childhood, but until they figure that out... well... they'll keep repeating their mistakes.

Older women have been there and we don't have any qualms about staying away from the loosers.