Dating a 34 year old guy since December. I am 25. He moved in about a month ago. I didnt want him to, but it just kind of happened...he and his roomate did not get along and he had had a car accident. I had a spare room so let him stay. When he got back from a business trip i saw condoms in his see-through bag. I asked him and he said they were old, he was right. Anyway, since that day...ive been visibly upset. He doesnt come home until late bc he goes to work out and read...he also did this after i told him i needed space. This weekend i ended up drinking a little too much and cried for 2 hours. I guess i went in the bathroom and locked the door. He ignored me for 2 days after...finally he spoke and said that that scared him and that i have too many issues and so far he hasnt found anything he likes. He said it wasnt what he thought. He wants to just be friends. I said to give me another chance. He said time will tell. He used to really really like me...is it over now?
2007-03-19 05:06:01 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When i told him to give me a second chance...i told him he was worth it...i told him i didnt want to loose him...he was visibly moved and looked sad...he said thank you and finally looked me in the eye...does he just need time or is it over?
2007-03-19 05:07:47 · update #1
honey i think it over
2007-03-19 05:11:50 · answer #1 · answered by wrfab 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its hard to tell you by not actually knowing exactly what he feels. But from what you have explained so far it seems that he is not the only one that is unhappy, so are you. You both moved in too quickly. I feel that you seem to be having a really hard time with this break up because you feel guilty. You feel that because of you this happened. Yes, maybe since the whole condom issue you were a little uneasy, but its natural. I'm not sure how visibly upset you were after that, but he might of started feeling that you wanted to control him and the relationship and men do not like that. But again its not all your fault and do not I repeat do not blame yourself for this. There is dissapointment, sadness, confusion in this relationship on both parts, not just his on your end as well. You have asked for a second chance because you feel that you made this happen, but it is not like that. For a relationship to work, it requires a lot of time, dedication, attention, love, caring, courage...etc... and the energy seems like it wasnt there on both ends. You getting a little intoxicated only brought out what you really felt. You didnt do anything wrong, but one thing, you both didnt adress and talk about the issues between you both. I honestly think that it might not work again. Its time to move on, and accept the fact that it just didnt work. A learning experience on both ends. I dont doubt that he really liked you, but he is obviously not ready for such a commitment, and you dont deserve that. You need a man that will be give you the same amount of energy that you put out. Sweetie, I want you to tell yourself, that you will not and I repeat will not ask for a second chance. You shouldn't, second chance why? You are not the one to carry the burden of this relationship failing, stop those feelings this instant. Both here are to blame for the energy not being there, you both were not ready. I honestly believe that things happen for a reason, and this man is not the one for you. Stop thinking of what you could have done and what you didnt this relationship is not only about what you would have done and what you didnt do its work of two people, and he is not willing...
God Bless...
2007-03-19 12:29:33 · answer #2 · answered by Alex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of times when one person wants to break up, they have thought it through and have decided thats what they really want. Now, if yuo're in the middle of a fight and someone says that, its probably just out of rage. To live in the same space and have so little communication is bad for you guys. Try to open up and ask him to put more effort in to interact with you. If his mind is made up, just respect his wishes, but I'd make him get out because it'll just be too awkward. Be sure he doesnt stay with you just for a place to live, try and really figure out his motives
2007-03-19 12:12:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you didn't want him to move in in the first place, and there was probably a reason for that. I always believe in being open and honest, what have you got to lose. Don't lose your pride b/c he's mooching a place to stay. It sounds like you don't know what you want, you didn't wan thim to move in, but he did, you wanted space and now that he gave it to you, you don't want to lose him. You should make up your mind as to what you really want and then calmly express that to him. Good luck.
2007-03-19 12:23:50 · answer #4 · answered by Heather L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, Im going to say this from my heart, I'm not being mean, but you have some issues, which we all do. I think you need some time to yourself. I think you need to learn how to enjoy yourself.
2007-03-19 12:21:11 · answer #5 · answered by Khalil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him go i mean its over
2007-03-19 12:19:08 · answer #6 · answered by lizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋