im so worried about my boyfriend going to uni even though its ages away yet!
iv explained to him that im worried that hes going to find someone else, especially because hes been at an all boys school for the past 7 years and im worried hes going to meet loads of new girls who he likes way better than me. he says hes not going to but i cant help but think this no matter how many times he says it, especially because he hasnt had much contact with girls at all
he has seen how upset it makes me everytime he talks about going and has even said hes not going to go if it makes me this upset but im not going to stop him.
i was just wondering if theres any way to get over these thoughts and do you think its likely that we will be able to last the three years while hes there. he has said he couldnt ever imagine being with anyone else, and i know if he didnt go to uni we would be together for a very very long time iv just heard lots of stories about couples breaking up when they go to uni
2007-03-19 05:03:36 · 11 answers · asked by sparkles_x 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe I'm not the best person to answer this because me and my boyfriend broke up after he went away to uni (not because he found someone else though - I did). However in reality 3 years is not so long. If you can last 3 years with him at uni then it's meant to be. Just make sure you visit and call as often as you can. Make sure you go to his dorm/house and see who his new friends are as this can help to ease some worries. You may find that he doen't hang around with any other girls particularly.
Good luck to you both. I really hope you both stick with it and that it lasts. Just because my relationship didn't, it doesn't mean that all long distance relationships don't.
2007-03-19 05:21:12 · answer #1 · answered by lollysarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you know why couples break up when they go to uni? Because of how you're acting at the moment!! I don't mean to sound harsh but its the paranoia that drives people apart. My boyfriend was exactly the same when i told him I was going to uni. Even though I'd deliberately chosen universities that were no more than an hour away. His constant insecurity and complaining made us break up. However, being apart from him actually made me realise how much I cared for him. We got back together and he came to stay at weekends or I'd come home at weekends. I finished uni two years ago and we're now living together! What I'm trying to say is, university won't break you up. you can still visit and see each other regularly. The weeks fly by. And the long holidays mean he'll be home half the year anyway. So just relax and support his decision to better himself because your negativity and anxiety could drive him away.
2007-03-19 12:24:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but I've never known any couples stay together when one goes to uni. It's not because the one who goes away meets someone else, it's just because you'll find yourselves living very separate lives. He will be having all sorts of new experiences, living away from home, meeting lots of new people and you might feel left behind. Add to that the fact that you wont see each other very much and that there's bound to be trust issues.
I'm not saying there's no way it can work, just that it's a very testing time for even the strongest relationship. Most uni starters are only 18-19 and probably at that age wouldnt be staying in their current relationship for that long anyway.
I wouldn't encourage him to stay at home though, he'll end up resenting you and you'll feel like you've ruined his chances.
I'm really sorry to say this, but all you can do is try and make it work but be prepared for the fact that it may not
2007-03-19 12:14:55 · answer #3 · answered by G*I*M*P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just remember if you are constantly at him with regards to your fears that he will stray it may be possible that he will get tired of your insecurities and may end up going off with someone else. So my advice is stop worrying and enjoy the time you two spend together. By continuously demonstarting your good points he will always be reminded why he loves you and thus will likely not stray! No-one really wants to be with someone who is insecure, jealous, and consistently worried that their partner is not trust-worthy. These such thoughts and behaviour will drive him away!!
Show him you love him, trust him, and are not jealous - this will make you a more admirable person. There are no guarantees that he will stray so do not worry needlessly!! There is no point in worrying over something that may not happen!! If he does break off the relationship later down the line then you deal with it then - but not now!!
You talk about your fears that he may stray, but remember it could be you that ends up straying!! Who is to say you may not end up finding someone you like more. Things change in life!! But you do not worry about them, you deal with them when they arise!!
2007-03-19 12:15:31 · answer #4 · answered by Spence 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wake up, long distance love only works on TV, in real life even if he try he wont be able to say no to a new love. He will met incredible gorgeous smart and fun girls over there so don't be so naive, don't waste your time waiting for him.
2007-03-19 12:14:40 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get a railcard and enjoy the travelling or move near him if you are that serious he will enjoy the company away from home, he will probably miss you as much as you miss him true love can stand distance. he will also earn lots of money when he has finished his degree all the best
2007-03-19 12:07:35 · answer #6 · answered by denny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay in relentless contact. Visit as often as possible, and if he's not with you by the end of uni, it wasn't meant to be.
2007-03-19 12:06:37 · answer #7 · answered by Nathan C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep the contact going at least twice a day don't give him the chance to think of other girls that way your both happy you still got your boyfriend and he still got you
2007-03-19 13:07:22 · answer #8 · answered by big evil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are both meant to be it will work out ok.
he is going to meet other people eventually where ever you live, you cant lock him up.
Do you really trust him, if not then why are you together in the first place?
2007-03-19 12:08:45 · answer #9 · answered by dsclimb1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to uni with him
2007-03-19 13:22:14 · answer #10 · answered by aryen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋