I've been with my bf for 2 months(im 21,hes24)I am his first gf in 2 yrs(his ex cheated on him & was badly hurt this)At first he was always wanting to see me,we live 30 min away and only i have a car.In the first couple weeks he took me to meet his parents and his friends.Lately hes been acting distant.Now we barely see each other and when we do,we are either at his parents house or out with his friends.I hate having to 'schedule' myself in.I feel neglected & like he doesnt care about me. i've brought his up with him b4 and he just tells me i shouldnt feel like that and to just "chill" and that hes "not going anywhere".When we are together he is very kind and tells me how much he enjoys hanging out with me,but then I dont see him for 4 or 5 days.i've noticed he drinks alot.Now he wants to know wats wrong!!I want to bring this up again b/c it's REALLY bothering me.I dont want to break up and I dont want to play games.Why do u think hes acting like this???how should i handle this??
2007-03-19 04:45:14 · 17 answers · asked by sallyh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to have a serious talk alone with him. Tell him you want to have time for just the two of you. Tell him you know he want's to spend time with his friends, and that's fine with you, but that he also needs to make time for you. A relationship is a two way thing, you can't be the only one contributing.
Maybe you could buy him a bus pass or something, so he can take the bus to your town.
2007-03-19 04:50:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my experience if a guy gets distant he's either seeing someone else or has some problem that he doesn't like to discuss.
It is a good idea to talk to him and ask him if anything is bothering him. If there is something that is on his mind let him know that you are there for him whenever he needs to talk. He may just be upset about something and in this case you just need to speak to him.
BUT there might be a chnace that he could be seeing someone else. so you also have to see if he's showing the signs (eg, not being close to you, being funny when you mention other girls etc) If he has been cheated on in the past he may not be cheating because he knows how much it hurts. So Personally i would just speak to him and ask him if there is anything bothering him!
I hope this helps you!
2007-03-19 04:58:59 · answer #2 · answered by xStacex 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My guess is that he doesnt want you around when he is drinking. He might be smokin a bit o the herb too. When me and my chick first got together I did the same thing when I was drinking and gettin high and I didnt want her around for it. Its really just depression. He is still roughed up from the last relationship and when he gets messed up he drinks. He doesnt want you around to see him like that and pressing the issue will only make it worse as he will become more and more stand-offish. If you really like him, let him know that you are there when he needs you and give him a little space when he needs it. If your only a couple months in....it might be better to cut this one off now and find a guy thats a little more stable.
2007-03-19 04:52:08 · answer #3 · answered by joeinchino2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's probably acting like this because of his previous relationship. Maybe he's afraid that you'll hurt him as well. I cheated on my boyfriend in the past and I felt terrible. We broke up, but got back together and he was the same as your boyfriend. (as far as being distant). I did my best to prove to him that I was really sorry and felt terrible about it, now we're engaged. You have to understand, guys don't talk about how they feel. Put yourself in his position and try to understand what goes in his mind. If you want him to open up, you gotta give him space, be patient, and prove to him that you're there when he needs you, (just as long as he doesn't take advantage if it). Good luck!
2007-03-19 04:56:52 · answer #4 · answered by ilovejoe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that you're finding out why his ex cheated....because he was not attentive. It could be just a matter of how this guy operates and handles relationships. It sounds like he wants to hang out whenever it suits him, and that he doesn't factor in how much time you'd like to spend with him. He may be too self-focused and selfish to make it work. Try not making the effort yourself and track how often you see him. Since you're the only one with transportation it's up to you anyway.....that would be enough to bum me out. As far as how to handle this situation in the meantime, try telling him to just 'chill' and 'that you're not going anywhere' just like he has told you.
2007-03-19 04:51:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Herdingchronic stems from the wild wolves preliminary stalking and chasing of prey. while canines are first introduced to inventory (sheep,cows) they're TAUGHT to no longer rather grip or kill the animal, yet to restrain themselves....hence bringing out the organic herding skill. some canines seem to have greater instinct then others do, alot of that may rely on breeding strains. risk-free practiceschronic is distinctive. prepare a Doberman Pinscher sheep, and that they might probably walk away, chase to play, or chase to kill and thats it. it may be alot greater difficult to deliver out a "herding" instinct. risk-free practices besides the fact that if is organic in ALL breeds, some breeds are merely greater bodily intimidating. A Rottweiller seems lots greater protecting then a yappy toy poodle on the door. i do no longer think of risk-free practiceschronic must be seen an instinct...in keeping with risk in elementary terms a trait of dogs derived from wolves sorting out for their %.. The herding team of canines is seen the main clever team generally because of the fact of their herding instinct and can desire to artwork and please their grasp. so some distance as no longer neutering based onchronic....i think of thats a delusion. i've got considered many altered canines do merely as nicely at herding or risk-free practices artwork as altered ones. Even Police canines are mounted, right here in Canada a minimum of.
2016-10-19 02:00:03 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you dont want to play games then quit playing his game. you are very young and you will have your heart broken more that a few times in your life to come. so just delete his numbers, dont take his calls and go find yourself a man that doesnt drink alot and has a car. he could be doing drugs as well..you better get out before he sucks you into his crappy world. there are many many many guys in this world...he is not the one
2007-03-19 04:50:47 · answer #7 · answered by placidfury 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's hiding something. Be careful with your feelings and don't give anyting up. If you have perhaps thats why he likes to be with you once every 5 days. Do you know his ex? If you don't you might want to contact her or his friends to see what really happened. Good luck and step carefully.
2007-03-19 04:51:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the drinking issue is a RED FLAG!
you haven't been seeing each other that long... you both need time to get to know each other.
perhaps he doesn't need to be around you all of the time right now?
if you want to know what is wrong, talk with him again... start your sentences with I FEEL... to get your point across.
if he doesn't seem to care, maybe it's time for you to move on... the drinking issue alone would make me turn tail and run...
take care!
2007-03-19 04:53:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, guys usually try to impress you at first and then just "go with the flow". You should bring up the subject again and tell him to at least try to fix it. If he makes no effort, I would break up with him.
2007-03-19 04:51:24 · answer #10 · answered by Taylor Swift Lovah™ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋