ok so now that im doing well,my father who by the way i only just started talkin to after so long is pushing me to call my my brothers gues he makes a good point that they are family but still why do i have to...he sez i have to help em out nd stuff i mean i dont even know them or him 4 that matter nd iv survived so far on my own...why should i?
2007-03-19 04:35:03 · 9 answers · asked by queenellybabe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You don't have to but you may be passing up the oppertunity to know some really great people & extend your family & loved ones.
Give it a chance & see where it goes, you dont have to make up your mind right now.
Good Luck
2007-03-19 04:40:46 · answer #1 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to do anything for them, as you really do not owe them anything. And I understand that you are probably still reeling from just making contact with your dad again. So it may be difficult for you to accept the fact that you now have to put yourself out there once again for complete strangers.
It's easy for you to sound selfish to people right now, as I noticed someone already pointed that out to you. But I wouldn't consider it selfish to try to protect yourself. This has most likely already been a hurtful situation and it's hard to let the healing begin sometimes.
Not only that, you said you've survived on your own this far. You're not used to having to worry about anyone else. You didn't even know these people existed until recently. How can anyone expect you to be ready to jump into the arms of strangers?
But the thing is, you may be missing out on some really great people if you don't make contact. You certainly don't owe them anything right now as far as helping them out with anything. But maybe down the road if you form a relationship with them you may feel that you would like to help them out in certain areas of their life. Start by writing a letter first to break the ice. Just be honest about trying to meet with them and you want to take it slow, as this is all very hard for you. Just be mindful to be compassionate to their feelings too. It might not be easy for them either. Just take it one day at a time and see what happens. All you have to do is take a gloomy situation and make the best of it.
2007-03-19 04:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by starlight_940 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't HAVE TO do anything. If you do choose to make contact then it should be YOUR decision, not your father or anyone else. Tell your dad you appreciate his opinion and will think about it and if that is the direction in which you choose to go it will be when you are ready and for your self and your own reasons.
It would be nice to reach out, but maybe one by one not all 4 at the same time. Feel it out see how it goes, doesn't mean you are committed to them for a lifetime. You may find that you have much in common and if not, at least you tried, for yourself.
2007-03-19 04:45:33 · answer #3 · answered by Believe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to, but maybe you should want to. Family is gold. Even though you knew nothing about this, the fact remains that they are blood. Don't take it for granted and dismiss it until you've at least done your part to meet them. Not because your father asked you to but I'd be at least curious about possible siblings that I'd never met. You can never have too much family. Try to get in touch with them and see what happens. No-one says you have to force the issue or support them, just meet them and go from there.
2007-03-19 05:08:07 · answer #4 · answered by georgiarose_01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say at least meet them but your not responsible for taking care of them, thats his job. I'm my mom's only child & I have a brother who is my sons age, 11 & I do for him on birhdays & christmas but its because I want too not becaue I feel sorry for him or I'm forced too. I grew up as an only child & I was 23yrs old when my brother was born, & because I wasn't raised in the same household were not as close & he probably is with his other siblings form his mom but I'm ok with that. My friend told me she got jealous when her older sisters met there siblings from their father because she wasn't the only baby sister anymore. That doesn't stop their relationship probably doesn't change anything, & they will never probably have the same relationship but that doesn't make them bad people. Another example my dad has 5 younger sister from his mom different fathers & when my aunts found out their dad has 3 other kids 2 sisters & 1 brother of course they were mad at first but now it's a thing of the pass, one of my aunts still says she has only 1 brother & 4 sisters, she doesn't except it! SO I say all of this to say do whats best for you & its no harm in meeting them or hanging out with them you may just enjoy yourself, give it a try!
2007-03-19 04:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by WOW! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not know them but you maybe missing out the best thing in your life. I have a half sister and she means the world to me, having family around is a good thing. It is up to you but you could just try.
2007-03-19 04:43:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That ought to have been a great journey for you, and that i agree, it in all possibility did advance your connection. I desire to have have my 5 300 and sixty 5 days previous twins there with me as quickly as I even have my next, which would be quickly.
2016-12-18 17:43:14 · answer #7 · answered by niang 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all you dont owe them anything that includes your father,if you want to meet them and get to know them that is up to you.apparently it wasnt an issue for them to meet you before so why is it up to you?if they only want a handout forget it they didnt help you when you needed help or call or write or visit because they cared.still its up to you ,you know whats in your heart.but dont meet them and give a bunch of gifts or money if you do you will rob yourself of the chance to know if they care for you or if they just want to use you.bless you and good luck.
2007-03-19 04:45:47 · answer #8 · answered by dixie58 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why shouldn't you? This whole me me me attitude is a little selfish. Think outside your own box.
2007-03-19 04:41:19 · answer #9 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋