I got asked to stand up in a friends wedding. There is a good chance, for financial reasons that they will end up not getting married or waiting awhile instead. She insists that we purchase $150 dresses (bridesmaids) now, so they will be in on time for her August wedding. If she does cancel, or postpone the wedding and the dresses are nonrefundable, should she have to reimburse us for insisting we purchase them now when the wedding is not definite yet? The dresses are also not attractive at all and not something any of us would ever wear again.
2007-03-19 04:21:25 · 19 answers · asked by Mia Anne *6.6.09* 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Yes, insist that she pays for them. And let her know before hand, that if she cancels or postpones the wedding you will be calling her, for her to reimburse your money.
2007-03-19 04:27:03 · answer #1 · answered by Haveitlookedat 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Miss bridezilla is being extremely unreasonable. I think it's so much more tasteful for the bridesmaids to go shopping together and pick out COORDINATING dresses - not matching - that they will all be happy to wear again down the road. If the bridesmaids don't like the dress no one else will. Yes... I think that if the bride is making you buy an ugly dress for a wedding that may not even happen then she can deal with it... it sounds like if she had any sense these dresses would be the last thing she should worry about. All of you girls should get together and confront her about it... make sure all you girls are on the same page and that you're thinking about all of those wedding pictures and how you want her wedding party to be tasteful. The typical bridesmaid dresses are just tacky... who would EVER wear those again? Go to macys.com, or jcrew.com, or herbergers.com or whatever... avoid the ugly bridal party departments at the bridal shop. Blaagh!
2007-03-19 21:42:28 · answer #2 · answered by THATgirl 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
She really has nerve. Expecting you to shell out money for a wedding that might never happen!!!! I was in a friend's wedding and spent $99 on a dress that she assured me was "something you can wear again". YEAH RIGHT!!! You never wear those things again because they look like bridesmaid dresses (not the most attractive by and by). I'd bow out now. She obviously had little or no regard for anyone else and still might make call off the wedding. Strange and stupid!!!
2007-03-19 06:48:57 · answer #3 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She should not make you pay for those dresses now if she doesn't know if shes going through with the wedding. That is tacky.
Ironic how she wants to put everyone out financially to pay for the dress and she doesnt know if she can afford the wedding.
I am letting my bridgemaids chose a few dresses and the one that gets picked the most will be the winner. I'm also picking it in a color that they can wear again.
But I've looked into picking out a pattern at a fabric store and picking a fabric. The fabric isn't that bad so I'm going to buy the fabric for all of the girls and send them the pattern. Then its their responsibility to have a seamstress make the dress. Seamstresses don't normally charge all that much.
Then if someone doesn't have the money right today and needs to save up for a few months they can.
But its inconsiderate to make people feel obligated.
2007-03-19 04:40:44 · answer #4 · answered by colie 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Whoa, this is the bride from hell. I cannot imagine asking bridesmaids to order a dress for a wedding that may or may not happen. Also,I can't imagine not consulting those bridesmaids to see if they like the dresses . And, there is absolutely no reason to order dresses in March for an August wedding !!!! Yes.. ask that the $150 be refunded, or bow out of this disaster. This bride has no sense of wedding etiquette whatsoever.
2007-03-19 04:35:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
I think someone needs to make a decision now as to whether or not it's merely post-poned or canceled completely. If it's post-poned, I'd buy the dress and wait. If it's canceled and you're forced to buy it, then yes, she should reimburse you. Then again, if it's for financial reasons that it might not happen in August, she won't have much money to re-imburse you with. So I stand by my first recommendation. It's not fair to you or anyone else in the wedding party. This may be the bride's big day but others have to be considered.
2007-03-19 04:32:23 · answer #6 · answered by Sinclair 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Dont know what ettiquette calls for. Doesnt matter. If the bride wants this done, she needs to pay for the dresses. I have always had a problem with these ppl planning huge weddings that put everyone involved into debt, and leaving so many with huge bills they cant really afford. If one wants a big showy wedding, let them pick up the costs. all of them. I think its not about reimbursedment, they should simply pay for them. This whole thing is a racket, making so many so much money. Its not about the fanciness, marriage is about the love, and they arent even sure they will marry. The sillyness of ppl still never ceases to amaze me. Instead of worry about having fancy dresses, they need to spend their time on seeing if they belong together or not, at no cost to anyone else. Whether they be attractive dresses or ugly, this gal needs to be paying for the dresses. Only when you pick a dress, should it cost you. Lets go back to the simplicity of weddings. This is insanity. ppp having big fancy , spendy weddings that dont even know if they belong together or not. Can we not see the ludicrosity of this situation? No, let her buy them, or get someone else to be in the wedding. We can only be a helpless little victim to someone, if we allow it. Your choice...
2007-03-19 04:29:38 · answer #7 · answered by full gospel shirley 6 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, if you agree to be in the friend's wedding, you pay for the bridesmaid dress unless she offers. If you don't like it, you have to bow out of being a bridesmaid gracefully. If you want to fight over money, you have to accept the fact that you may be ruining a friendship. So before you bring up a fight over money, think about which is worse, losing a friend, or losing $150. I've been in a similar situation and it SUCKS but I had to suck it up and move on because I loved my friend more than my $200 and hideous dress with equally hideous matching shoes. Women and weddings, it can make them crazy, they want everything to be perfect, just try to realize that your friend is probably incredibly stressed out and trying hard to plan what most girls dream of as the happiest day of their lives. If you're close enough of a friend to be a bridesmaid, VENT VENT VENT to friends and anyone who will listen, except to the bride, because this could really hurt your friendship. Fighting over money is usually not worth it!
"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton
2007-03-19 07:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
If the person getting married is not sure that they are going to go thru with it at this time, then you simply need to say "sorry, but I do not have that kind of money to throw away on a dress that we might not be wearing" If she does not like it , then too bad for her, and simply bow out of the wedding plans. It is very rude of her to want you to buy these dresses on a possibility that she may or may not get married. If she is saying it is for financial reasons, then she needs to cut back and do something simple like a justice of the piece at one of the local halls, i.e. VFW, Legion, that will put on a nice buffet for under a thousand dollars. Also, bridesmaid dresses are bountiful and can be ordered a month in advance.
2007-03-19 04:29:04 · answer #9 · answered by vivib 6 · 7⤊ 2⤋
The couple really needs to decide now whether they can afford the wedding. Leaving attendants wondering whether they need to shell out so much money is inconsiderate. Have you even considered that you would also have to pay for alterations, shoes, and other accessories? If the bride refuses to pay for the dresses in this situation, you should decline to be in the wedding.
2007-03-19 04:32:57 · answer #10 · answered by Paddington 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋