My best friend has gone back to her x for the 4th time, she hasnt said anything to me b/c she knows how I feel about him. Anyway he's hurt her, cheated on her, used her for the booty call, has other baby momma drama, yet she went back again. And i just cant stand seeing this again and being the one that will pick-up the pieces once again. I just dont know what to do. Should I tell her I know about it again and tell her how I feel about it and she deserves much better then him, or do I mind my business and just be there once again when he hurts her, or do I just punch him in his head and warn him not to hurt her again? Quick backround, she's 22, I'm a 29 year old male and yes I have feelings for her, she knows, we're still best friends and that's the way we want it. See that's part of the problem I dont want her to think it's anything more then being concerned for her.
2007-03-19 04:08:12 · 15 answers · asked by ryper92 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
...it's obvious she has strong feelings for him, if she's continuosly going back to him despite all he put her through..there's nothing you can do, even if you tell her you know she went back, you won't change her mind, you'll only make her feel embarresed...i think deep down she knows she deserves better, that's why she didn't tell you about her going back in his arms once more..she is just not ready to let him go, she is not at the point were she had enough...and because your love for her is deeper than that of a friend, you'll must be suffering even more...my advice, don't say a word, but make her see that you'll be there for her no matter what, that you trust her judgement, constanly tell her that she's a great gal, deserving the best there is in this world, try to make her realize how much she values as a human being...and don't stop loving her, maybe she'll fall for you in the end...i know i did:), fell in love with one of my best friends,never thought it would happen to me...but that's my problem:)...
2007-03-19 04:27:24 · answer #1 · answered by Roxana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well since she already knows how u feel then just step back and let her make her own mistakes. U can't always protect her u know sometimes u have to let her make her own mistakes and for her it seems like it is taking some time but eventually she will figure out that he isn't right for her and she will leave him but saying something to her that u have already said will just upset her and then u 2 might not be friends anymore. So just let time take its place and waite and be the shoulder she needs to cry on ok. It will all work out in time. Good luck
2007-03-19 11:20:27 · answer #2 · answered by biggest_duke_fan_ever@yahoo.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concern for your friend, but here's what I told my husband (someone he knows has gone back to a man 7 times now after he's left her for someone else) -
She's old enough to make her own decisions. You told her how you feel and that's all you can do. Remain friends with her and pray for her. But, there's nothing you can do about this relationship. One day, she'll see him for what he is - but in the meantime, just realize that this is a lesson she has to learn on her own.
Good luck! I know it's hard especially when you know their going to get hurt again. Just be there for her.
2007-03-19 11:17:43 · answer #3 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's made her bed, so let her lye in it! You have already told her that he is no good, but she loves him anyways. Most times you need to remove yourself from other relationships for the good of your own health. She's quite old enough at this age to know what you have suggested. She wants to go down a dead end road with him, so let her! Don't be around later when she comes wanting your sympathy. Friends can only help so much, the rest is up to that individual. Cocoa
2007-03-19 11:17:41 · answer #4 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say anything. I have definitely been in this situation. Its always better to let your friend fall on her butt and just be there for her again. There is only so much a woman is gonna take. Let her learn from her mistakes, if she didn't listen to you the other times, she's not gonna do it now. Let her do what she wants to do so that she will realize she made a mistake and hopefully choose to learn from it
2007-03-19 11:14:12 · answer #5 · answered by First Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do love her! You wouldn't feel that way if you didn't love her that much! and your love for her is founded on friendship right? Don't worry, she'll realize everything at the right time...My advice is, JUST BE THERE FOR HER, ALWAYS. And you MUST let her know that you'll be with her no matter what - NOT to condemn, insult or mock her for her weakness or stupidity (if that's what you'd like to call it) - but just to let know that she has you. It won't be easy but...that's love. Hang in there... Goodluck!
2007-03-19 11:27:48 · answer #6 · answered by mijastely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF SHE ISN'T TELLING HER BEST FRIEND ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIP THEN SHE OBVIOUSLY KNOWS IT IS WRONG BECAUSE BEST FRIENDS TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING. I THINK SHE THINKS SHE WILL GET THE LECTURE FROM YOU AGAIN AND SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR IT. TOO BAD! I WOULD TELL HER THAT YOU KNOW AND THAT YOU CANT STAND BACK AND SEE HER GET HURT AGAIN. TELL HER YOUR CONCERNS AND SEE WHAT SHE SAYS. FRIENDS ARE FOREVER AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE HER FRIEND BUT YOU CANT BE THERE FOR HER AS LONG AS SHE IS WITH HIM. HOPEFULLY SHE WILL SEE THAT YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS MAN WHO ABUSES HER.
2007-03-19 11:19:29 · answer #7 · answered by ♥♥ LINDA ♥♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry man.. feel for you.. but to be honest do do either of those things.. about move and keep a distance between you what i am suggesting is harder then the first 2 options you gave but if you keep distance then she may realize what she is missing out on..Because right now she is doing this she is using u as her emotion bf... and him as his sexual one.. between the two of you she subconciously thinks she has the perfect man... now if u leave urself out of the equation she will relaize what is going on.. when she come back give her an option either come back as my gf or ... get on with your life... i am serious u ahve to do this...
2007-03-19 11:16:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like she already knows what you think so if i were u i would just let her go somtimes people have to learn these type of things ontheir own even if that means gettin alil hurt. stay close to her and when things go wrong be there for her and whatever you dont say i told you so
2007-03-19 11:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything yet. Wait until she comes to you for advice/comfort after her boyfriend does something mean and/or stupid. Then say, "Yeah, I thought this might happen." Give her the same comfort and support that you always have, but I reckon it'll be okay to let her know that she's the only one who can save herself.
2007-03-19 11:14:52 · answer #10 · answered by harpy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋