Do you think religion affects relationships? For instance, I am 19 and this guy that I have been going on dates with is 21. We are not "official" yet, but we are basically a couple. He is Catholic, and I am Presbyterian. We both believe in God and everything, execept our views will differ in the long run. I don't want to just get into the relationship knowing that it will end soon because of that reason. I like the boy, but could people overcome this issue?
2007-03-19 04:00:21 · 27 answers · asked by Camelot 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Catholic religion varies quite a bit from that of Presbyterian and other Christian based religions. My husband's family was Catholic and he decided that we'd join a Christian church - they (at least his Grandma) had a fit!! His family, if they're devoute Catholics, will more than likely pressure you to join the Catholic religion. We also went to a Catholic church to "talk" about have the ceremony there. The priest said one of us would have to join the church and would be expected to go to services regardless of where the other decided to go. We disagreed with this since we felt worshiping in different places would more than likely take us apart rather than draw us closer together.
The things you have to evaluate are:
1. How serious are you and your family in your religious beliefs?
2. How serious are he and his family in theirs?
3. Would either one of you be willing to convert to the others religion?
I think if you're willing to make it work - it's possible. But, religion is one of those areas that are really important. If you're both serious about your own religions, I see a rocky road for the two of you.
2007-03-19 04:08:45 · answer #1 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suspect your question is how can people "overcome this issue". If a person was born into a relition and taught diligently by people, and is now 21 and still attends services, then there is nothing to overcome, you need to accept him as he is, with his religion and all, you can't change a person to your liking.
You already acknowledge "our views will differ in the long run". Sure they will. Each person believes that their faith is the best. He may or not object to your having children and training them to your religion...that is, if something does come from this relationship. Years ago it used to be the rule that when a Catholic marries then either the other person changes to Catholicism so they can be married at the front altar, or if they didn't change their religion to Catholicism that they would be married at the side altar and the non-catholic person had to sign a paper in which they agreed to raise the child/children Catholic. Back then if the Catholic didn't agree to this then they were banished from the flock. But you know, the course you'd take before marriage used to be 14 weeks but now it's several months and Catholics take this seriously. You'd be taking a course and learning how to raise your children Catholic. Sounds like you disagree on this matter, therefore don't consider your dating "official" and find someone in your own religion before things get involved. And, if he starts to get serious then acknowledge it's only for sex and he's not really interested in you, but either way you must let him know the reason you don't want to date him anymore.
2007-03-19 11:12:40 · answer #2 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, definitely
Im catholic and my ex bf was protestant
I live in northern ireland so things were a bit more tricky, his family hated that he was going out with a catholic girl
But all you have to remember is that if you like each other, nothing else matters
Essentially you are both christians and both believe in god, your views may differ, but that is not necessarily a bad thing
When it does come and an issue arises, dont see it as a problem but as an oppurtunity and a chance to learn more about your partners faith and vice versa
People definitely overcome this issue in even the most trying of circumstances
Dont give up on something potentially really good for the sake of a difference of opinion
Talk to him about it, see how he feels
Remember chances are he is feeling the same
2007-03-19 11:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by Chyme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How strongly do each of you feel about your religion would be the first question to ask each other because religion does make a difference in relationships. Also how deeply one believes in God makes a difference too. Make sure you are on the same page. Both my husband and I believed in God, but my beliefs were more comitted than his. This was discovered in our first year of marriage. I grew in my beliefs and comittmentment. We were both comitted to each other so after severe turmoil we eventually got on the same page, but it almost ended in divorce (which I detest). There is also the question as to whether this is religion on both your parts or a sincere relationship with God. Is He personal and intimate in your life or a tradition? Is your desire to learn and grow deeper in who God is? Plan towards what you hope for and want in your future and make sure the man you are considering wants those same things and has the same passion.
2007-03-19 11:15:48 · answer #4 · answered by GloBug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Camelot you are 19 for one don't rush life relax an enjoy life an if its a very serious relationship religion should make no difference you both believe in god think of Adam an eve we are all brothers an sisters we are all connected from a friend Michael
2007-03-19 11:20:28 · answer #5 · answered by ARC ANGEL MICHAEL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can. My bf and I are the same he is Catholic and I also and Presbyterian. We have both attended eachothers churches and we talk open and honest with each other. Its been 1 year and we are very happy and looking forward to someday getting married....That might become an issue......But we both believe Love can make it through anything....People now days are to easy to give up and the first difference they face.
2007-03-19 11:07:12 · answer #6 · answered by liz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definatly. But it depends on how religous you are or your partner. Also age becuase as someone gets older they will probably look for answers so will become even more dedicated to their religon for a place to belong. It also depends on the religon, i know that catholics are strict. My grandparents are catholics and they are proper strict and there are so many rules. I think it depends how willing you are to change your life and adapt a differnet religon or if you just want to keep seperate religons. Also if in the future you did have children what religon would they be? Also parents may ahve excpectations of you or your partner such as no s*x before marridge or no contraception. Not that they would know but their guilt may follow you around. But in a way even though the people around you might force religon on to you its up to you whether you wish to make this an issue.
2007-03-19 11:03:12 · answer #7 · answered by Dreamer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It makes no difference, the only thing that matters is how you 2 feel about each other, you have your beliefs, and he has his, and I'm sure both of your religions allow room for respecting what other believe. It will be fine, and anytone who says it wont...is wrong. If you 2 care for each other, this only but a small pebel in the road of your life together, trust me, if this is your biggest fear, your doing just fine.
2007-03-19 11:06:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the problem with religion. Technically, as you are both "Christians" there's shouldn't be a problem but because religion - and Christianity in this respect, is so weird, you cannot see eye to eye on a number of issues that should be simple and of similar nature.
It's up to you. If you love him so much and he does, too, why can't you discuss the possibility of one joining the other's church? As I said, that is weird as you are both followers of Christ and should not be at odds!
2007-03-19 11:10:34 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well in the bible it says to be evenly yoked.
I am more on your end of the faith than on his.
I believe in the power of prayer on this issue however, and I also believe alot of guys don't really dive into their faith like us women do. I think you should talk about it, pray on it and quite possibly he'll come around. If not, it really could effect your future in decision making for your kids and your ultimate goal of how to live your life. These issues are the very reason it states in the bible you should try to be evenly yoked.
God Bless.
2007-03-19 11:05:12 · answer #10 · answered by sassinya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋