I mean, I'm single and I have no desire to be with anyone right now. But people are always telling me things like, "oh don't play all those video games, men don't like it" or "do this, it'll drive the men crazy". When I meet a guy, I think of what kind of friend he'll be, not what kind of boyfriend. But when I'm out they'll try to find out if I'm single. If I tell them yes, then they'll assume that I'm looking. If I wear a tanktop or a skirt or whatever, they'll think I'm dressing for them when maybe it's just hot outside.
I know how conceited that sounds, but it's the truth and I hate it! Why do certain people seem to think that EVERYTHING is about getting a man? It's so animalistic to me.
2007-03-19 02:47:12 · 16 answers · asked by transitangst 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
KA 1227- I posted this in the women's section just now. I also wonder what kind of responses I'll get there.
Thanks everyone who answered so far.
2007-03-19 03:58:04 · update #1
just be yourself and when you want a man you will go get one. till then lets play video games together and you can wear that skirt
2007-03-19 02:51:53 · answer #1 · answered by chemreaction 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. It should be perfectly acceptable for a single woman to enjoy being single and not pursue a romantic relationship. But we are socialized to pair off, and there IS a biological drive to hook up as well.
It is rare to find a woman who feels the way you do, which is probably why you have people making assumptions about your intentions.
I would like to see this same question posted in the women's studies section to see what kind of responses you get there.
2007-03-19 02:55:18 · answer #2 · answered by not yet 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree, I've been single for all 19 years of my life, and it doesn't bother me to much. I'm fine with it, whenever he comes around he will. And I hope to build a relationship off of friendship so it'll hopefully be more stable and I won't feel like I need to put on an act. If a guy doesn't like the fact that you play video games then he's not the one, I mean what if you ended up marrying this guy, are you supposed to give up something you enjoy doing for the rest of your life and pretend you never liked them because of him? I'm an avid gamer and if a guy doesn't like the fact that I play video games then he's not worth my time as far as I'm concerned. My hobbies have been a part of me far before any men have.
2007-03-19 02:55:38 · answer #3 · answered by Seeing you I loose myself 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well because society still tells women that they are "nothing without a man" and sadly we believe it. I have always wanted a good man, and now that I have one I'm very happy, but I don't feel like I "have" to have him nor do I feel like I was nothing until I met him. I would however be devastated and feel a great lost if I lose him, but life will definitely go on. At any rate, I feel you. If it's not for you, then don't worry about it and keep on keeping on. However, sweetie, don't have this attitude towards men forever if you plan to eventually have one. Because you'll definitely have to compromise if you want to have a relationship. Good luck.
2007-03-19 02:56:50 · answer #4 · answered by Brandy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Im a man and I agree. The folks who tell you those things may be trying to help you but obviously they annoy you. Now, if you want them to stop then you need to talk to them about it. And, for the record, your playing video games aint neccessarily a turn off. As for the rest, society is taught, foolishly so, that to be happy, you need a mate. That aint always the case. If your happy being unattached then dont let anybody else sell you a bill of goods that your not even shopping for.
2007-03-19 02:56:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The people that center their lives around getting a man are not as aware of who they are as you are. Some people think that their relationship is the measure of how they are doing. In their minds it is a statement of their well being if they can attract partners. You are right it is a very basic instinct to attract a mate, a bit primal. The people who give you these "suggestions" are not as secure as you are. Somehow just being themselves without being validated by men is not enough for these people. They are not as secure as you are.
2007-03-19 02:57:30 · answer #6 · answered by newyorktilson 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Animalistic is pretty much right on the money, essentially humans are driven by their base instincts to breed as much as animals(maybe more so); we're just deluding ourselves that we're superior. We are the human animal.
My advice, don't listen to anyone but yourself in this situation. If you don't want to be with anyone and are content, then you're already ahead of the miserable masses. Live your own life.
2007-03-19 02:54:48 · answer #7 · answered by guy o 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because they are going with the flow. You should continue to swim against the stream! You'll have a better life and when you do meet someone in the future, you'll know who you are and what kind of life you want. It's not about finding a "man" its about finding a person to share your life with OR it's about realizing that you're happy alone!
Good luck :)
2007-03-19 02:52:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It just means you have a healthy view of yourself. Any girl/woman who feels that they "should" have a man (or significant other) to make their life complete needs to do some serious rethinking.
And forget about what "they" say guys like... it just shows that you are more mature and you are aware of what's important in a relationship.
My statement to them? Looks fade... A friend is forever!
(Trust me. My hubby and I are now in our 40's. We're not the worst looking couple but I'm happy that we enjoy each other's company!)
More power to 'ya gurlfriend!
Mon :-)
2007-03-19 02:55:45 · answer #9 · answered by santan_cat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend, you must be my long-lost twin. That's exactly the way I think. Just ignore all those people and enjoy your freedom. If you can show them that you don't need a man, they'll respect you. Find something else to get passionate about and focus on that.
2007-03-19 05:28:13 · answer #10 · answered by Rio Madeira 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋